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Just Engaged and Proposals
Alh728
member
Who takes care of what?
Hi all-sooo previous posts of mine trying to get info/advice on engagement parties i learned that i should not be holding my own. However-as a newly engaged bride to be-i have NO idea of the proper ettiquette as far as who traditionally hosts certain parties (ie. in this case-engagement party). Now my biggest thing is the fact i know an engagment party would be around this time-give/take a few weeks/months. But no one has offered to or mentioned anything about having an engagement party. SO what do i do? I don't have one? Do i talk to my wedding party mine/his parents? Which if i talk to them i would feel awkward as hell-especially because i don't want anyone to feel they aren't doing enough? I feel like i am in such an awkward situation and i have no idea how to proceed at this point...
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Re: Who takes care of what?
I can see how you might be a bit, um, disappointed (?) that your loved ones don't want to celebrate this moment how you imagined, but I think you'd be focusing on the wrong aspect to dwell on those feelings.
The engagement isn't the important part here, the lifelong commitment is. And they will celebrate that with you via the wedding itself.
Well we went out with FMIL and FSIL to dinner if that counts
A few things:
1. You mentioned in your last post about the engagement party that you aren't getting married until 2015. . . . . you now reference a wedding party. FYI, you have chosen a wedding party very early. While the ship has sailed, you should have waited until much closer. Wedding parties do not have to be even either.
2. You "don't want anyone to feel like they aren't doing enough.: With regards to a wedding party, all they have to do is show up in the required outfit (which you will have asked them in private what their budget is, and not required hair/shoes/makeup unless you are buying them, right?) and stand by your side. They are not free labor for pre-wedding anything. They aren't to be made to organize events, make centerpieces, go on crazy diets to fit your idea of the perfect wedding party, etc.
3. You only get any pre-wedding party if someone chooses to host it for you. If MIL wants to host a shower for you, great. . . . If your bff wants to host a bachelorette party for you, great. If nobody chooses to host any pre-wedding party for you, you put your big girl panties on and have a lovely wedding where you get to marry your FI (yay!!!) pre-wedding parties do not make you any more or less married.
4. Please do not have a cash bar at your wedding. If you choose to have alcohol, host it. If you can't afford a bar, have a dry wedding.
5. Don't ask anyone (especially parents) to fund your wedding, nor should you have a honeymoon fund or the like. Host the wedding that you and FI can afford. . . . it's your responsibilty. It's also a wise decision not to go into debt for a one day party.
That's it for now. I am not at all saying that you are going to do any of these things, but it seems that you are quite stressed already, and not to familiar with wedding etiquette, so I figured these suggestions might be helpful to you.
Most importantly, enjoy being engaged!!!! Time will keep on ticking and before you know it you will be an old married hag like many of us. You can't get your time as a fiancee back, nor can you relive your wedding day, and it will all go by quickly, so take the time to live it!