Attire and Accessories

"No Black Attire" Guest Request?

Is there a nice way to request that people don't wear black to my wedding? I was hoping the pictures would be brighter and sweeter if guests didn't look like they were mourning at my wedding. My theme is all pastels and brights.
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Re: "No Black Attire" Guest Request?

  • lyndausvilyndausvi Western Slope, Colorado mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Nope.   My husband only has 1 suit, it's black.  Which by the way he only wears once or even less a year.   No way in hell he is going to go out in buy another one just because a bride doesn't want black attire.     






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
    PrettyGirlLostindianaalumicecreamS04grumbledore
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Oh Jesus. No, you cannot tell your guests they can't wear black. Do you really think your guests are going to look like they're in mourning in your pictures? While they're dancing and laughing and having a good time? Right. 

    doeydoPrettyGirlLostgrumbledorevmj23
  • i'm not telling them how to dress, i'm just trying to figure out how to ask them nicely. I think you're getting the impression that i'll go crazy on them if they wear black.
  • can I say "Brightly colored attire invited?" Is that a positive spin? What about if I suggest it because it's outside in the summer?
    Yasiris1105
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    No.  No matter how you word it, whether you are asking nicely or telling them straight out, you cannot control what your guests wear.  Even by asking nicely you are still trying to tell them what they can and cannot wear.

    Also, suggesting things basically is telling the adults you are inviting that you think that they are stupid and can't figure out what to wear on their own.

    What color they wear or what kind of clothes they wear to your wedding will not have any effect whatsoever on your wedding day.  Period.

    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • Do not tell your guests how to dress, either negatively (no black) or positively (colors please). They'll look happy regardless of what they wear, and you'll probably be too busy to notice anyway.
    PrettyGirlLost
  • SarahRashidSarahRashid member
    5 Love Its First Comment
    edited January 2014
    what if i say "summer clothes recommended as the event will be held outside?"

    seriously though, people are acting like I'm forcing them to wear a certain outfit, and that's exactly opposite of what I want to do. I'm trying to ASK THEM NICELY. i'm trying to tell them what the wedding is gonna look like so that if there are people that care, that they're informed. how do i do that without sounding rude? that's all I wanna know.
  • I put "Pastels and bright colors are welcomed as the wedding will be outside. Weather estimated to be between the 70s and 80s."
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
  • I shouldn't have even bothered. I just didn't know people were gonna be so awful to me just because I asked a simple question, a question involving me trying to be courteous to others, and what I got was the exact opposite in return. 

    I'm really disappointed in the people that post on this website, regarding the happiest day of ones' life. I made a huge mistake that people would be welcomed in celebrating such an important and beautiful day.

    I guess you had forgotten what it was like to be a young newlywed.

    Please do yourself a favor and stop trying to "help," because all it's doing is hurting others.
    EarthToChelseaberryalexissunflowersandcurlsKnottie6394f6b22a913594
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    I shouldn't have even bothered. I just didn't know people were gonna be so awful to me just because I asked a simple question, a question involving me trying to be courteous to others, and what I got was the exact opposite in return. 

    I'm really disappointed in the people that post on this website, regarding the happiest day of ones' life. I made a huge mistake that people would be welcomed in celebrating such an important and beautiful day.

    I guess you had forgotten what it was like to be a young newlywed.

    Please do yourself a favor and stop trying to "help," because all it's doing is hurting others.

    Serious question. What were you wanting people to say? You came up with wording on your own so there wasn't any need for the question except for validation.
    HaileyDancingbearPrettyGirlLost
  • I shouldn't have even bothered. I just didn't know people were gonna be so awful to me just because I asked a simple question, a question involving me trying to be courteous to others, and what I got was the exact opposite in return. 

    I'm really disappointed in the people that post on this website, regarding the happiest day of ones' life. I made a huge mistake that people would be welcomed in celebrating such an important and beautiful day.

    I guess you had forgotten what it was like to be a young newlywed.

    Please do yourself a favor and stop trying to "help," because all it's doing is hurting others.
    Yes, but what you are missing is that there is no courteous way to request specific attire. There is no way to do it, so everyone is telling you not to do it.

    I do remember what it was like to be a wedding-obsessed bride to be, and as an old married hag, I can assure you, your guests' attire will not affect your happiness on your wedding day at all. You are risking insulting your guests and making yourself look like a control freak for something that does not matter. It is not worth it.
    image
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers

    I shouldn't have even bothered. I just didn't know people were gonna be so awful to me just because I asked a simple question, a question involving me trying to be courteous to others, and what I got was the exact opposite in return. 


    I'm really disappointed in the people that post on this website, regarding the happiest day of ones' life. I made a huge mistake that people would be welcomed in celebrating such an important and beautiful day.

    I guess you had forgotten what it was like to be a young newlywed.

    Please do yourself a favor and stop trying to "help," because all it's doing is hurting others.
    Seriously? So us answering your questions and telling you that the many variations of wording you want to tell, oh sorry, suggest, to your guests on how to dress for your wedding is inappropriate and rude makes us mean. Ok.

    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • misshart00misshart00 Oklahoma member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    What is your fiancé wearing?
    PrettyGirlLostOliveOilsMom
  • Holy crap how rude! What if the guys only have dark colors? I know my FI typically doesn't wear anything bright or pastel. I know many other guys who don't either. How incredibly rude of you to tell your guests what to wear.
    doeydochibiyui
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