Favors

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

ColeRose said:

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

@ColeRose I am very sorry for your loss and I hope any blunt comments on this thread did not offend you in any way or cause you pain for your memory of your friend. My highschool sweetheart was killed in a car accident some years ago and a group from our church made a donation in his honor to a charity he and I worked closely with. I appreciated the gesture 100%

Not at all thank you My friend's death was sudden as well right after her 27th birthday. She went to bed one night and never woke up, turns out she had an undiagnosed heart condition.

I am very sorry to hear this. I have had 2 close friends die in the past 10 years from undiagnosed heart conditions and I'm only in my early 30's.

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

@PrettyGirlLost again I back up your statement. I feel like maybe the way PP attempted to back their opinion was rather cold and you and MyNameIsNot worded it with more grace. Again, I say that is something I can respect.

themuffinman16 · January 2014

What does PP mean?

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

previous post/previous poster

Viczaesar · January 2014

MyNameIsNot said:

ColeRose said:

Jen4948 said:

ColeRose said:

We did a donation in lieu of favors to honor a friend of mine who passed away. I included that information for people so they knew and I'm sure no one at my wedding was an asshole enough to think badly about our donation. We did have a candy bar, cigar bar and photo booth so if people were truly offended there were other things that could be seen as wedding favors.

While I'm sure no one was an asshole enough to think badly about your donation, it was still not appropriate to do it "in lieu of favors." You were not required to give favors, but you could have made the donation without linking it to your wedding. Your friend would still have been "honored."

It was a way to include a very good friend in my wedding, she would have been a bridesmaid so I wanted to do something big. Good thing no one had my wedding had your narrow "mindset."

I too would have side-eyed your "favor". I lost my brother a few years before our wedding to a drunk driving accident, so I understand wanting to remember someone who should have been a member of our WP. As part of our wedding, we included something about him in our program and made a donation to an advocacy group that we support.

However, we made the donation in private. There was absolutely no reason for us to brag about the contribution to our guests. I would have judged your need to inform people of the donation, not the donation itself.

Same. I don't care if you give the money you set aside for favors to a charity, no matter what that charity is. But don't give your gift in my name, and don't advertize your gift, for example with an "In lieu of favors the happy couple donated the money to PETA." Your donation should be private, not waved as a flag to demonstrate how awesome you are, which is frankly what it looks like when somebody announces their donation like that. It's made even worse if you donate in my name to a charity I don't care for.

MyNameIsNot · January 2014

MrsDeRuyter87 said:

@MyNameIsNot while I don't think that the B&G was intending to brag about their donation I could see how some people could feel that way, and that is an opinion I can respect.

I don't think they intended to brag. I just think that's how it comes off.

It's poor form to broadcast your charitable donations, wedding or no.

lovesclimbing · January 2014

HaileyDancingbear said: Favors aren't necfessary, although if you want to have them there are some nice, not self-centered favors out there. For instance I was thinking of doing little potted succulents as favors, they're pretty, they don't have my name on them (I guess that's a matter of taste but I don't like monograms or putting my name all over stuff.) and they're a low maitenance plant so guests could pretty much just plop them on a desktop and not have to worry about watering for weeks. Of course, my budget isn't set yet so if I need to make cuts, favors will be the first thing to go. I think he succulents are cute but I wouldn't cut anything else to make room in the budget. ETA I'll fix the typos when I get on a computer, going back to fix them on this phone is a massive pain.
Peaseblossom55 said: FI wants to do a donation in Lieu of favors I'm not sure I like that idea. I would prefer doing mini succulents as a favor I think they are cute and it's something different from any wedding I've attended so far.
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Please, please, please don't do potted succulents, @Peaseblossom55 and @HaileyDancingbear. They will be a pain to transport home and lots of people do not like house plants. I would not take mine at the end of the night and would leave it at the venue. I would take matchbooks, shot glasses, playing cards, cutesy little fans, anything over a potted plant.

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

@lovesclimbing you bring up a good point about the transport at the end of the night of a potted plant. thanks for the insight. Hmmmm... may be back to the idea of homemade lemoncello,,,

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

lovesclimbing said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

Favors aren't necfessary, although if you want to have them there are some nice, not self-centered favors out there. For instance I was thinking of doing little potted succulents as favors, they're pretty, they don't have my name on them (I guess that's a matter of taste but I don't like monograms or putting my name all over stuff.) and they're a low maitenance plant so guests could pretty much just plop them on a desktop and not have to worry about watering for weeks. Of course, my budget isn't set yet so if I need to make cuts, favors will be the first thing to go. I think he succulents are cute but I wouldn't cut anything else to make room in the budget.
ETA I'll fix the typos when I get on a computer, going back to fix them on this phone is a massive pain.

Peaseblossom55 said:

FI wants to do a donation in Lieu of favors I'm not sure I like that idea. I would prefer doing mini succulents as a favor I think they are cute and it's something different from any wedding I've attended so far.

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Please, please, please don't do potted succulents, @Peaseblossom55 and @HaileyDancingbear. They will be a pain to transport home and lots of people do not like house plants. I would not take mine at the end of the night and would leave it at the venue. I would take matchbooks, shot glasses, playing cards, cutesy little fans, anything over a potted plant.

Meh I don't think they would be difficult to transport. . .they don't typically have a ton of dirt and the pots and plants themselves are very small.

I would love a succulent and would not take matchbooks or those other items listed. I would take lovesclimbing's plant too!

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

Interesting to hear another point of view @prettygirlost. I think no matter what we decide not everyone will like it or want to take it home. We won't be able to please everyone. I think for us it will come down to perhaps doing a physical favor or just doing a donation in lieu of favors.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

Interesting to hear another point of view @prettygirlost. I think no matter what we decide not everyone will like it or want to take it home. We won't be able to please everyone. I think for us it will come down to perhaps doing a physical favor or just doing a donation in lieu of favors.

Ack, noooooooooooo!

A favor is supposed to be a little, trinket gift for your guests right? Taking money you would otherwise have spent on those gifts and donating it, and then not giving your guests a physical gift and then telling them that rather than getting them a gift you decided to donate their gift. . . isn't giving them a gift.

So saying that you made a donation in lieu of a favor, which means in place or instead of a favor doesn't really make much sense. It just looks AWish and awkward at a wedding.

If you want to make a donation, make a donation. But do it w/o drawing public attention to the donation or calling it the favor.

So don't tell your guests you made a donation, KWIM? Or go with an edible favor, those seem to go over very well. Homemade lemoncello would be really cool to try!

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

Hmmmm... may be back to the idea of homemade lemoncello,,,

Please do this. Or at least send me some!

vt&dt · January 2014

Peaseblossom55 - Our friends got married last summer and sent home little potted flowers as favors. I loved them.

If you want to do that, I think they're a unique option that people who like houseplants will likely keep (especially succulents, because they're pretty low-maintenance) - if you have many guests driving a long distance, I might suggest also giving a small box that would fit the pot. Those should be easy to find and pretty cheap either from a florist or big-box store (you may need to fold them yourselves).

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

Peaseblossom55 said:

Hmmmm... may be back to the idea of homemade lemoncello,,,
Please do this. Or at least send me some!

I am in LOVE with this idea!

arrippa · January 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

@lovesclimbing you bring up a good point about the transport at the end of the night of a potted plant. thanks for the insight. Hmmmm... may be back to the idea of homemade lemoncello,,,

Let me know if you need a taste tester. Yum!

B0320 · January 2014

Omg homemade lemoncello sounds amazing!

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

I better get a PM with this recipe, like now!!!!!

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

I better get a PM with this recipe, like now!!!!!

I can send you the basic recipe when I get home from work, but I can't tell you the secret ingredient or else my bid to topple Martha Stewart's empire may be compromised!

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

I better get a PM with this recipe, like now!!!!!

It's FMIL who has the recipe and makes it. I never tried to make it thought I would like to. The problem with this idea is I feel awful asking her to make such a big batch. It is so good though.

PrettyGirlLost · January 2014

Cookie Pusher said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

I better get a PM with this recipe, like now!!!!!

I can send you the basic recipe when I get home from work, but I can't tell you the secret ingredient or else my bid to topple Martha Stewart's empire may be compromised!

Hmm, ok.

Cookie Pusher · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

Cookie Pusher said:

PrettyGirlLost said:

Cookie Pusher said:

Seriously, @Peaseblossom55, I would happily trade you my famous oatmeal crackberry (uhh.. I mean cranberry) cookies for lemoncello! lol

I better get a PM with this recipe, like now!!!!!

I can send you the basic recipe when I get home from work, but I can't tell you the secret ingredient or else my bid to topple Martha Stewart's empire may be compromised!

Hmm, ok.

I promise it's not actual crack, though. Don't believe what they tell you on the street!!

ashleyep · January 2014

Peaseblossom55 said:

@lovesclimbing you bring up a good point about the transport at the end of the night of a potted plant. thanks for the insight. Hmmmm... may be back to the idea of homemade lemoncello,,,

I went to a wedding with limoncello as a favor. It went over very well!

thisismynickname2 · January 2014

Favor conversations make me laugh.

A PP already said this-- you will never please everyone. Choose wisely (so as to not waste your money if nothing else). Part of choosing wisely is knowing your audience. My college friend had shot glasses, but we were all Greek in college- shot glasses as favors for events were very popular. I do not need yet another shot glass in my collection, please. Not sure why they did that.

A BM of mine once attended a very fancy wedding where the favor was a champagne glass with the B&G's names and wedding date. So many people left theirs behind that she and her sister scooped up a whole bunch of extras at the end of the night. They took them home, scratched off the name and date (and oh yeah, the cheesy sunset picture), and now they each have a set of 6 lovely champagne glasses.

cowgirl8238 · January 2014

vt&dt said:

Peaseblossom55 - Our friends got married last summer and sent home little potted flowers as favors. I loved them.

If you want to do that, I think they're a unique option that people who like houseplants will likely keep (especially succulents, because they're pretty low-maintenance) - if you have many guests driving a long distance, I might suggest also giving a small box that would fit the pot. Those should be easy to find and pretty cheap either from a florist or big-box store (you may need to fold them yourselves).

I know Oriental Trading among others sell boxes in varying sizes in many pretty wedding colors. So if you want to have a box this would work!

cowgirl8238 · January 2014

thisismynickname said:

Favor conversations make me laugh.
A PP already said this-- you will never please everyone. Choose wisely (so as to not waste your money if nothing else). Part of choosing wisely is knowing your audience. My college friend had shot glasses, but we were all Greek in college- shot glasses as favors for events were very popular. I do not need yet another shot glass in my collection, please. Not sure why they did that.

A BM of mine once attended a very fancy wedding where the favor was a champagne glass with the B&G's names and wedding date. So many people left theirs behind that she and her sister scooped up a whole bunch of extras at the end of the night. They took them home, scratched off the name and date (and oh yeah, the cheesy sunset picture), and now they each have a set of 6 lovely champagne glasses.

And this is why consumables are so popular...if one person doesn't want it, someone else will glady take the extra!

ashleyep · January 2014

thisismynickname said:

Favor conversations make me laugh.
A PP already said this-- you will never please everyone. Choose wisely (so as to not waste your money if nothing else). Part of choosing wisely is knowing your audience. My college friend had shot glasses, but we were all Greek in college- shot glasses as favors for events were very popular. I do not need yet another shot glass in my collection, please. Not sure why they did that.

A BM of mine once attended a very fancy wedding where the favor was a champagne glass with the B&G's names and wedding date. So many people left theirs behind that she and her sister scooped up a whole bunch of extras at the end of the night. They took them home, scratched off the name and date (and oh yeah, the cheesy sunset picture), and now they each have a set of 6 lovely champagne glasses.

Ohhhh, I have a champagne glass from my cousin's wedding. I didn't even think of scraping off the name and date.

lovesclimbing · January 2014

PrettyGirlLost said:

HaileyDancingbear said:

Favors aren't necfessary, although if you want to have them there are some nice, not self-centered favors out there. For instance I was thinking of doing little potted succulents as favors, they're pretty, they don't have my name on them (I guess that's a matter of taste but I don't like monograms or putting my name all over stuff.) and they're a low maitenance plant so guests could pretty much just plop them on a desktop and not have to worry about watering for weeks. Of course, my budget isn't set yet so if I need to make cuts, favors will be the first thing to go. I think he succulents are cute but I wouldn't cut anything else to make room in the budget. ETA I'll fix the typos when I get on a computer, going back to fix them on this phone is a massive pain.

Peaseblossom55 said:

FI wants to do a donation in Lieu of favors I'm not sure I like that idea. I would prefer doing mini succulents as a favor I think they are cute and it's something different from any wedding I've attended so far.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Please, please, please don't do potted succulents, @Peaseblossom55 and @HaileyDancingbear. They will be a pain to transport home and lots of people do not like house plants. I would not take mine at the end of the night and would leave it at the venue. I would take matchbooks, shot glasses, playing cards, cutesy little fans, anything over a potted plant. Meh I don't think they would be difficult to transport. . .they don't typically have a ton of dirt and the pots and plants themselves are very small. I would love a succulent and would not take matchbooks or those other items listed. I would take lovesclimbing's plant too! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------That doesn't matter. I can't imagine carrying a potted plant on an airplane. Where would you put it on an airplane? Under the seat back in front of you squeezed in next to your other carry on? It could be easily kicked over. A potted plant can't really be put in a carry on so you're stuck hauling your bags around in addition to a little potted plant that you have to be very careful of so it doesn't tip or get the leaves broken off or anything like that.

I personally feel that if you're going to have favors, it should be something all of your guests could easily take, not something that's restricted based on how people are traveling home

16maybeless · January 2014

I am morally opposed to useless trinkets with the bride and groom's names on it. If it's useful, bring it on. If it's edible, best of all. But we've been given a block of wood carved with B+G's initials (I'm still not sure what it was for); a champagne glass etched with a quote wrongly attributed to Dr. Seuss as well as B+G's faces; a measuring spoon that is neither a teaspoon or a tablespoon; and the weirdest of all but still really popular, an engagement photo of the B+G in a foam frame ... with the price tag on the back.

sofakingmad · January 2014

Jennja22 said:

You know, I really like the idea of lottery tickets. I'd never even thought of it until someone mentioned it earlier in the thread. Although, you have to "know your crowd" because many people are morally opposed to gambling/etc.

I guess the way I feel about it is that you can't make everyone happy. I like gambling and if I wanted to use a lottery ticket as my favor, then I would regardless and I wouldn't sit there and try to figure out if any of my guests were "morally opposed" to gambling.

There's a point where you just have to understand that at a large gathering, someone is bound to be offended by something.

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