NWR: Can we talk about baby shower/registry etiquette?

Viczaesar · January 2014

banana468 said:

dmyrick78 said:

When you purchase your breast pump, you are only given a month to return it. Since you can't pump for a little while after the baby is born, I would suggest putting it on your registry right before you have your baby. That way you can get the registry completion discount on it.

Also, you cannot return it if the box has been opened. It's considered a personal hygiene item.
And you can probably rent a pump from the hospital or pedi in the interim. I started pumping when DD was 7 days old but didn't buy until she was 1 month.

I have a friend who has a business involving renting out medical supplies and she always recommends renting from the hospital rather than buying, especially if you don't know how your supply will be and how long you'll be pumping. Hospital-grade pumps have better motors and are more efficient. You provide your own tubing so you're not using used tubing, and she said that if you ask to try it out at the hospital they'll provide the tubing for trying it out and you can just keep it (it's cheap anyway). You rent the pump by the month. It's something to keep in mind at least.

MobKaz · January 2014

Viczaesar said:

dramamonkey said:

I like knowing what sex the baby is, and I don't generally buy gendered clothing.

This thread reminded me about a faux-baby shower I'm invited to in a couple of weeks. It's definitely not etiquette-approved, but it's not unusual in my department. We're all grad students. Basically there is no RSVPing, and the party is a drop-in thing at our local brewing company. Definitely not hosted, though it's not organized by the parents-to-be. You're welcome to bring something for the baby if you want, but it's not required. I just tried to google her registry and couldn't find anything, so I'll probably just go find some baby clothes that I think are cute in 3 and 6 months, or I might put together a little basket with first aid items.
For a family friend, my mom and I put together a box with a starter library...maybe 12-15 books in all Dr. Seuss, velveteen rabbit, little engine that could... etc etc. We had a lot of fun putting it together.

I often do that too, as I'm a big book person, and I think it's a great idea! In this particular case she's a fellow academic so I'm sure she has books covered. For my nephew's new baby for Christmas I gave him an infant activity book and a couple of board books that were nephew's favorites when he was a baby.

ETA: One of the books was Hand, Hand, Fingers, Thumb, and when they unwrapped the book my sister and BIL, the baby's grandparents, both started chanting the refrain. 23 years later and it's still embedded in their brains!

I always gift books as well. I love finding a series that takes the concept of "The First.......that can carry a baby through its first year. Clifford, The Big Red Dog has a story that features every holiday and the seasons. I also love the books, On the Night You Were Born, and If I Could Keep You Little.

Viczaesar · January 2014

monkeysip said:

I don't have a sister or close friend who has had a baby. I might could go with one of H's sisters or his mom, I don't know.

I have been looking at the registry lists and thinking, "Do all parents really buy ALLL this stuff for their baby? Seriously?" lol. Also, we're probably moving shortly after our baby's birth, so we probably don't want to accumulate too much stuff that you don't need immediately after baby's birth. Just the necessities.

I'm also hoping I can get my insurance to cover the breast pump. I know some women have had difficulty with that though!

Oh, I vaguely remember this - aren't they all required to provide one now? I'm pretty sure. But it's not necessarily a great one.

lovesclimbing · January 2014

monkeysip said:

Hi ladies,

I'm only 4 months pregnant, so I know it's early and I'm definitely not registering or having a shower yet, but just thought it doesn't hurt to think about this stuff now. I wasn't sure where to post this on the bump, and I'm always confident in the etiquette advice given here, so I thought I'd post here instead of there.

H's sisters already offered to throw a shower later, and my sister probably would if they didn't. Either way, I'm not asking them of course, but seeing as how someone probably will, when do couples typically register? I hear showers are normally given a month before the due date (or even after birth sometimes), so should we register at 6 months? 7 months? What's normal?

Also, I just wanted advice on what kinds of things are okay to register for and what are not okay. We'll be buying our own crib, but should we register for a car seat or other large item? Is that a no-no?

Should we just stick to onesies, blankets, bottles and little stuff like that? I just want to make sure we're not registering for anything weird.

Also, I know for bridal showers, it's ok to register at 2-3 stores. Is that normal for baby showers too? Or just one store? I'd probably prefer to keep it one store for my own sanity.

Thanks for any advice! I just don't know anything about baby showers or registries at all.

Personally, I tend to side eye large items. I have never been to a shower where large items were gifted. However, as you can see from these posts, a lot of people are ok with them so I would take a look at what is normally done at showers in your circle to decide whether or not to register for large items.

monkeysip · January 2014

Never been to a baby shower before, so I don't know what's commonly been done. But maybe I can ask MIL since H's family will be most of the guests. I don't have many family members on my side or friends who would come.

PhoneCardLady · January 2014

If you decide to register, don't forget the little things - like a baby thermometer, ear wax remover, nose bulb, baby silverware (the ones that are coated), a medicine measuring spoon, pacifiers and things like that.

I made up a "basket" - it was a baby bath tub that included these items along with a few other things. , like baby bath, lotion, powder, diaper rash, etc. My sister thought it was one of the best gifts she got!

These are things that a new mother needs and appreciates.

muenginerd · January 2014

I worked Babies R Us registery for quite a few years so this is just the experience we've seen...

We've had ladies as early as four months come in and start a registry, they didn't necessarily start everything that day but just get a few items up and continue it online. This may seem crazy but I can't tell you the amount of mom's 6 to 7 months in who come and try to do a registry all in one day, and it can become a very long and overwhelming process. Makes for some very uncomfortable mommies If people ask we usually recommend starting at 5-6 months with a few key items and just add things as they come into mind. This takes alot of pressure off the moms.

Large ticket items are totally ok! These are popular for family gifts or group gifts. Car seat, rockers, pack n plays, and cribs are popular gift items. Crib matress, changing tables, furniture aside from crib and rocker are not always as popular. For strollers, make sure mom tries to fold and open the stroller with one hand. We always have our moms practice it in the store because we want to make sure the stroller is going to work for you. Many times you will have the carrier or baby in one hand while you are trying to put away the stroller so it's good to see if it work now.

We definitely recommend generic all purpose onesies, sleepers, no-scratch mittens, and a package of cloth diapers. Cloth diapers make the best all around baby items and can be used as dust cloths when you are done with them.

We also tend to steer people away from buying lots of bottles and pacifers. Baby are particular and you really wont know what brand works until your baby is here. Some companies make a gift pack that have different samples and that will sometimes make a good gift.

Don't forget baby toys if you would like to add them. Our registry area was across from the 0-18 month toys and many parents would forget about adding those things until we talked about them. Teethers, plush toys, soft books, and rattles all make for great presents.

NWR: Can we talk about baby shower/registry etiquette?

Re: NWR: Can we talk about baby shower/registry etiquette?

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