Wedding Etiquette Forum

NWR: graduation cookout for H

pittiemama14pittiemama14 member
25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
edited January 2014 in Wedding Etiquette Forum
I would like to have a graduation party for H in May, to celebrate his graduation and his acceptance to his Phd program, that will also serve as a chance for extended family and friends to see us before we move in June.
This will be a family and close friends only party. I'm going to have it in my parents backyard and it will be a pool party/cookout. I was thinking of doing hamburgers and hotdogs on the grill, maybe a few different types of sausages too, and a few side options. I will also provide soft drinks/water/beer/wine and a cake.
So would it be acceptable for this kind of party to give people the option to bring a side dish or a dessert if they would like to, or do I need to provide everything? I know people in my family will ask about bringing something since it's so informal, and I always enjoy having alot of options at family parties, and I know my family does as well, but I can only afford to do a few. I don't want to offend anyone on my H's side though (I know my family won't be offended, this is how we usually set up informal parties), and I also don't want anyone to feel obligated.
I have a background in food saftey and am certified in sanitation and saftey so that's not an issue. Everything will be properly stored and kept at the proper temps, and we know everyone well and I am aware of how they prep food so I trust that as well.
Thanks in advance for your responses!

ETF: spelling

Re: NWR: graduation cookout for H

  • Since you are hosting the party, I think it would be a bit rude to ask anyone to bring anything.  However, if some people offer (which it sounds like a number of them will), there is nothing wrong with graciously accepting that offer.  It sounds like what you are serving is already a great array for an informal, BBQ party and if some of your guests want to bring other dishes, than that is a bonus.
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  • Ok. I had planned on having plenty of food even if no one brought anything, it would just be limited options, but as long as they offer and it's ok to take them up on it, I definitley will. Thanks!
  • Ok. I had planned on having plenty of food even if no one brought anything, it would just be limited options, but as long as they offer and it's ok to take them up on it, I definitley will. Thanks!
    I'm in one of those families where every single person offers to bring food to every single event. None of them can dream of showing up empty handed, even if we insist. So my dad just waits to do shopping until he has gotten the day-before phone calls asking what to bring. :) If we don't tell them something, then they guess. So usually we tell them to bring salad or desert or fruit or wine.

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  • In my family everyone would bring something to a party like that. We actually feel it is better that waybecause then no one person will have to do all the work and everyone can really have the chance to enjoy themselves.
  • As long as people offer than it's fine.   I would not ask, nor think poorly of someone who doesn't offer.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Just as long as you intend on providing the basics (which is what you sound like), you are fine. Don't ask other to bring stuff, but you don't need to decline their offers! You seem to be on the right track.
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