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Storm brewing

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Re: Storm brewing

  • InkdancerInkdancer member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its First Anniversary First Answer
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    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    eyeroll
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  • KCrispoKCrispo member
    25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    Good for you.   That took a lot of strength and courage to speak up to your father!   Way to go - you should be proud of yourself.  
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  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    themuffinman16 said:
    Okay, finished the conversation with my father.  He is not coming to my wedding. He threw in some digs at me saying I, obviously,  didn't love my deceased grandmother, because my grandfather walking me down the aisle is not what she wanted.  I couldn't be any more sure that I made the right decision than in this moment. Feeling relief wash over me.  Having a glass of wine and will call my grandfather this weekend to ask him to walk me down the aisle.  This week I have had 3 glasses of wine during the week (a new record). Lol.
    Sorry to hear that it's turned out this way, but at the same time, you have my support and hugs.  Given how the conversation turned out, I'm positive that you did the right thing in not asking him to walk you down the aisle.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    edited January 2014
    Thank you, Jen. In a week, I think I will be excited about wedding planning, again, and be able to leave the drama behind me
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    I think you will breath a lot easier now that the toxic cloud of negativity aka your father is out of your life! You deserve to have only the people who love you and are genuinely there for you in your life and your wedding. Enjoy your wine! I went through a pack of mikes hard lemonade last week because sometimes that's what it takes to not let the drama get to you!
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  • firebabe6519firebabe6519 member
    500 Comments 250 Love Its First Anniversary Name Dropper
    Congrats on standing your ground! Its not easy, but it is worth it! Hopefully you won't feel so burdened as you complete your wedding plans. T&PS!
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  • phiraphira member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary 5 Answers
    I wish I could give you a hug. I know the intense relief that comes with this kind of situation. Everyone's all, "Isn't it sad or hard?" and it's like ... "Compared to how it was before? Are you serious?" It's not a happy or easy situation to deal with family members like this, but often, it can be a huge relief when they kind of take themselves out of the situation.
    Anniversary
    now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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  • MrsMack10612MrsMack10612 member
    Tenth Anniversary 500 Love Its 1000 Comments First Answer
    I'm sorry for your troubles.  I had some similar issues with my dad.

    I would make one recommendation:  send him an invitation anyway.  Do not have any expectation that it will change anything, but it will put the ball firmly in his court.

    As someone who had years of planting my head firmly to the wall of expecting my father to change and my "dad" again, to have it rammed home with my wedding how that wasn't going to happen I understand some of what you're going through.

    I say to still send the invitation because it's being the bigger person and again, makes the choice his.  With his emotional blackmail ways and the way he manipulates, this will be just one more thing for him to hold over you "Oh she didn't even send me an invitation".

     

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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I agree.  I am all ready planning on sending him an invitation. If he doesn't go, I don't know if we will ever be able to have a relationship, again.  
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  • Amyzen83Amyzen83 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer First Anniversary
    Honestly if you don't have a relationship with him ever again, I would treat that as a relief. As a concerned stranger, have talked to professional counselor about this? He or she could help you find healthy ways to heal from all of this. I can only imagine what kind of emotional turmoil this has been causing you. I think you also need to keep reminding yourself that none of this is your fault. All these things your father are putting on you are his issues, and I doubt he's ever going to change.
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  • themuffinman16themuffinman16 member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    I  haven't seen a counselor, yet, I may if, after a while, these issues still bother me.  But my insurance does not cover counseling, when I get married, my FI has a much better insurance plan.  Right now, I talk to my friends or my twin sister about it.  They have been really helpful, too.  I know counseling is a great idea, it is always great to talk to someone who isn't biased and someone who can be objective.
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