When Is It Too Close for Comfort?

MichelleS28 · January 2014

Thank you for all your help!

Maggie0829 · January 2014

MichelleS28 said:

I have been engaged for about a year and have been planning my wedding throughout the year. My fiance's younger brother just popped the question to his girlfriend yesterday. They want to do have their wedding in 6 months, but it's 3 weeks after my set date, 2 weeks after my honeymoon, and the day right after my second reception. I know there is no etiquette or rule for when you can or cannot have your wedding for this matter, but it is a bit too close (especially to my second reception with extended family and friends) for my liking. Plus, I find it inconvenient for out of town guests to have to come twice in 3 weeks. Am I out of line in trying to bring this up?

Yes, you are out of line if you bring it up. You get one day. One day. That is it. And so does your FI brother and his FI.

And the fact that you are worried about it being the day after your SECOND reception is just mind boggling.

TheGrimReaper · January 2014

Why are you having two receptions?

AddieCake · January 2014

Just because you want 2 receptions (which I always side eye), this guy should have to choose a later date?

chibiyui · January 2014

Three weeks is plenty of time

MichelleS28 · January 2014

Thank you all for your advice. That's why I needed to ask first. I know a lot of people don't look highly on a second reception, but I had planned it not considering my family with certain jobs.

KatWAG · January 2014

MichelleS28 said:

Thank you all for your advice. That's why I needed to ask first. I know a lot of people don't look highly on a second reception, but I had planned it not considering my family with certain jobs.

What? So you planned a second reception since some people cant make your real one? Are you going to reenact the cake cutting and first dances also?

princessleia22 · January 2014

Yes, you are out of line. Like others said, you get one day.

Similar to you, I've been engaged over a year. My sister got engaged last week and is planning her wedding for 5 weeks after mine. Due to family scattered across country, we decided to do destination wedding in middle of the country. His family is mostly on west coast, mine is on east coast. No matter where we did it, people would have to travel. So, instead of choosing sides, we went in the middle... knowing many people still wouldn't be able to attend. We have only about 30 people attending, even though we invited 80... and that was just family, no friends. So, we had planned to do "at-home receptions" on both ends of the country after the wedding. They were going to be low-key BBQ cookouts, no cake, no gifts, no wedding-y stuff. Just a "Come meet the spouse, drink a beer, eat a burger" get together. The date we were thinking for my family is 1 week before my sisters wedding date. There is no way that people will be able to come to both, including FI and I coming cross country. And I will have already had my big wedding day and don't want to ruin hers, so we are scrapping the AHR's. No big deal... nothing was set in stone anyway. We may still do the west coast one, where we live, for local friends that couldn't come, but we get to see those people regularly anyway so we may just scrap that one too. For east coast, I figure we will see everyone at my sisters wedding anyway, which was the whole point of doing the AHR. My only worry is that I don't want people showing up to her wedding with gifts for us too or take away from her attention on her big day. It will be the first time that a lot of my extended family will get to meet my FI (well by that time it will be husband). So, I'm sure that there will be some attention on me and some congratulations, but I will just do my best to keep the focus on her for her day... which shouldn't be too hard to do.

effiek91 · January 2014

I just want to say that I think you had a concern, were asking if you should be concerned or if you should let it go, and some people responded a bit sharply to your question. Everyone has an opinion, no one knows all the details, but you shouldn't feel bad for asking a question that I felt you honestly just wanted a third opinion on.

That being said, I would feel sorry for out of town guests who had to travel twice in three weeks also. Would it stop me from planning my wedding, (whether I was the bride in the first wedding or the second) probably not. If they're super close they'll make it regardless, and if not then you probably won't be heartbroken they can't make it. But if you have relatives who aren't wealthy, they might have to choose that close together, I know I would if I needed plane tickets etc!

Second reception, there are different reasons for this, is it a full blown reception or more like you're throwing a celebration party after the wedding for those who couldn't attend the first one. I don't think having a celebration get together after the first reception is a bad idea at all, I might end up having to do an extremely small reception (as in just family no one else) because of money, and in a year or two throw a big bash on our anniversary. That being said, if you have a large amount of family coming to both the second reception and your sister's wedding, well they'll just have to have two awesome party-filled days back to back now wont' they! :-)

AddieCake · January 2014

Why did you delete your post? It's considered very bad form to do that on a messageboard.

When Is It Too Close for Comfort?

Re: When Is It Too Close for Comfort?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards