Dear Prudence,
Last year, my husband was a finalist for a once-in-a-lifetime career opportunity. We were both flown to the lovely island city of the organization. I learned there were high expectations for entertaining and community involvement for both employee and spouse. It would have meant my leaving a fulfilling job, but I was told there would be plenty of social and intellectual opportunities for me, and the organization thinks of itself as a family. My husband got the job. Almost a year into our new life, my husband is blissfully happy. Our elementary-aged daughter and I are not. My daughter is pleasant and outgoing and has always been popular. I have invited just about every child in her new class over for visits and activities; almost without exception these invitations have been politely declined. I offered to volunteer at a couple of nonprofits, but was told they were all set. The other women in the community attend work-related gatherings at our home, but when I have tried to pursue a friendship, I get a polite cold shoulder. I've lived in many states and have never had a problem making friends. One person explained to me that the culture here, while superficially friendly, is pretty insular, and people feel “outsiders” aren’t worth the effort. I want to return to our previous city, where I could get my old job back. But my husband wants to stay here for the rest of his career. We've talked about this, and he's not budging. I feel like I have to choose between marital happiness and happiness in the other areas of my life, and I am beginning to worry that the rest of my life might just prove more important than my marriage. Do you see any alternative?
—Lonely
DG should be cautious about that move to Hawaii, apparently.