Parent gift etiquette

Re: Parent gift etiquette

• MobKaz member

  

  January 2014

  There is no reason you cannot show your appreciation to your FIL's privately.  It would be no one's business but yours and theirs.  In my mind, proper etiquette is that a parent gift, although thoughtful, is not obligatory.  

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• MyNameIsNot member

  

  January 2014

  Parent gifts are nice, but they aren't required by etiquette.  It's more in line with a thank you gift.  

  
  

  It's perfectly fine for him to get his parents and gift while you skip getting one for yours.  Give it to them in private, and have your FI quietly ask that they not mention it in front of your parents.  It's also perfectly fine to wait until after the wedding to give them their gift.  

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• ab6704a member

  

  January 2014

  I don't know what the *proper* etiquette would be on a situation like this but if it was me, I would get a gift for the in-laws and find a time to give it to them in private with just you and your FI.  No need for your folks to know about it and if they don't there won't be any drama.
  

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• OliveOilsMom member

  

  January 2014

  firebabe6519 said:

  So I am not close to my family at all. They are not contributing to the wedding and will be invited as nothing more than a guest--- no special seating. I raised my brother myself, working two full time jobs to support us since I was 15. On the other hand, FI is very close to his family and has very supportive parents. I would like for us to give my future in-laws a gift as a thank you for all their support and involvement. But I have no desire to honor my dad for being an uninvolved sperm donor. What is proper etiquette here? I don't want to be rude and only get gifts for one set of parents, but I feel like there is nothing to honor with a gift for an abusive douche who was never involved in my life... Should we just skip the parents gifts to avoid conflict? And maybe do something layer with FI's parents? WWYD?

  I would just do something later for FI's parents.  Would your parents even be invited to the RD?  That is usually where the gifts are given out, in my circle. 

  

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• cruffino member

  

  January 2014

  Agree with PP. You can get his parents a gift and not yours. No-one needs to know.

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• firebabe6519 member

  

  January 2014

  Thanks ladies! I just didn't want to come off as rude just honoring one. @oliveoilsmom we aren't doing a rehearsal since the ceremony is fairly simple and short with a small WP. But we can probably just do a lunch date or something with his parents so its more private.

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• phira member

  

  January 2014

  Assuming you're not giving your future in-laws their gift in front of your family, in like a, "THIS IS HOW AWESOME YOU ARE, oh sorry, none for you other people" way, this is totally fine.

  

  now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  January 2014

  The only point of etiquette involved here would be that you need not to give your FILs their gift in your family's presence.  It would smack too much of "nya-nya."  As negative as your family makes you feel, that wouldn't be appropriate.
  

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• LowerEastSiiide member

  

  January 2014

  Give your inlaws their gifts in private- problem solved

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