Wedding Party

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  • I know you don't want to hear it, but I think that is too many. If you have to look for roles or ways to include people, it's too many. My cousin had a random kid in her wedding just walk down the aisle because she wanted to include him. It was odd and nobody understood it.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • The youngest of the kids (1 & 2 year olds) won't know either way, so I would probably skip any kids that are too young to walk on their own. That would make things a lot easier.

    We are having our 3-year old niece as flower girl, 6-year old niece as a bridesmaid, and 11-year old nephew as a groomsman.  So, that may be an idea for the oldest nephew, but kids can still be really rambunctious at that age, so be prepared for chaos.  My sister is worried that my 6-year old niece won't be able to stand up there and stay still that long, but we plan to have really short ceremony and have no problem if she wants to sit.  And we won't get mad if she acts up and it won't "ruin our day"... we know what we are getting ourselves into. 

    I've seen ideas of kids carrying various signs, which may be an option for some of them.  Usually the signs I've seen say "Here Comes the Bride" or something along those lines.  But you could get creative with them also.  Maybe have them say the milestones of your relationship. Like one for day you met, one for first date, one for proposal, and then one leading into your entrance.  For example 1) "They Met 01/01/12"; 2) "First Date 01/15/12"; 3) "He Finally Proposed 08/15/13"; 4) "And that led to..." or "And now today...", or something like that.

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  • That's too many kids to include in the wedding party.  Babies are too young anyway.  Include the 5 and 6 year old, and take pictures with the little ones.

    I was a flower girl in my aunt's wedding when I was 7.  My 5 year old brother was RB, and my uncle's 6 year old niece (his side) was a flower girl.  My 3 year old sister and her 2 year old brother were guests, because they were too young to walk up the aisle on their own.  They were too young to care, and their parents certainly understood the limitations of toddlers.  

    You don't have to have all the little ones just because you have a few, even if they are siblings and cousins.  
  • shelnjosh2014shelnjosh2014 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2014
  • I agree with the PP's.  

    There is also the cost factor to consider.  There are 9 children among how many couples?  Those couples will need to purchase dresses and suits, or incur the cost of little tux rentals.  In our area, even children's tuxes rent for $100 or more.  Additionally, you will need to invite all those families to the rehearsal dinner.  That's a minimum of 15 extra people (if each couple has 3 children each).  Now factor in potential "honor" costs, such as items/flowers for each of the kids to hold/carry, perhaps honoring the parents with boutonniere's/corsages.

    Get a cute photo after the wedding of all the little ones surrounding their newly married aunt and uncle.
  • shelnjosh2014shelnjosh2014 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2014
  • So my fiance' and I have Six nephews and three nieces between the two of us. We are very close with all of them and could not simply pick one of each to be the flower girl and ring bearer. Does anyone have any ideas for how we could include all of them in the ceremony? The boys are 6, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 and the girls are 5, 1, 1. Thought about having the little ones in a wagon and one of the kids pulling them maybe? Would love to hear any ideas!
    1 and 2 are too young to participate in your ceremony, and 3 may be pushing it as well.  Many churches and venues will not allow children to be pulled down the aisle in a wagon for liability reasons.

    The youngest children will have no idea they are "being left out."  I would just include anyone 4+

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Agree with PPs.  Focus on the older children and include the littlest ones in a great "nieces and nephews only" picture with your and your FI/DH.  It will be lovely and can be a reminder of them all sharing your day.  Make it a point at your reception to dance with them - we have some great shots of our nieces and nephews dancing with us and with each other.

    I say this as someone with 18 nieces and nephews; we only included godchildren as it would have been too much (time and pressure) to find a job for everyone.  And please don't do the wagon - too much chance of a spill and someone getting hurt or upset.
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    Anniversary


  • IMO, kids age 3 and under become props in a wedding, because they are too little to understand and/or even make it down the aisle under their own power. Please consider having only the four oldest or even the two oldest. And do not put any baby in a wagon. I cringe every time I hear about or see that done, because I just envision them falling out and then the wedding crashes to a halt in tears and an emergency room visit and wouldn't I just feel so terrible if my wedding resulted in stitches for a little baby?
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  • shelnjosh2014shelnjosh2014 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2014
  • Please refer to my above posts about not wanting to hear your opinions about wether or not the little ones should be in the wedding. It is our desire for them to be in it . My little sister is 11 years old that will be pulling the wagon , the kids are almost two , they will be perfectly fine in a wagon that they are pulled in all the time . They're tough , they'll be okay . The kids will be okay , I'm sorry y'all are so uptight that your ceremony has to be perfect , it's about the memories & those around you supporting your decision . I'd love if this post actually had some supporting comments & solution rather than critics who have nothing better to do than point out what people are doing wrong & give your unsolicited opinion .
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  • Please refer to my above posts about not wanting to hear your opinions about wether or not the little ones should be in the wedding. It is our desire for them to be in it . My little sister is 11 years old that will be pulling the wagon , the kids are almost two , they will be perfectly fine in a wagon that they are pulled in all the time . They're tough , they'll be okay . The kids will be okay , I'm sorry y'all are so uptight that your ceremony has to be perfect , it's about the memories & those around you supporting your decision . I'd love if this post actually had some supporting comments & solution rather than critics who have nothing better to do than point out what people are doing wrong & give your unsolicited opinion .
    Please refer to my face


    http://24.media.tumblr.com/88d0b30223bfce3ddc80e1961ab7f721/tumblr_mzvggrgCka1tqm119o9_500.gif

    Because  I guess you shouldn't have solicited our opinions in the first place.  Did you want opinions or validation?

    Here's some supporting comments for you- you need to check with your venue as to whether they even allow wagons to be used- most places prohibit them for liability reasons.

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • chibiyuichibiyui member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited January 2014
    Please refer to my above posts about not wanting to hear your opinions about wether or not the little ones should be in the wedding. It is our desire for them to be in it . My little sister is 11 years old that will be pulling the wagon , the kids are almost two , they will be perfectly fine in a wagon that they are pulled in all the time . They're tough , they'll be okay . The kids will be okay , I'm sorry y'all are so uptight that your ceremony has to be perfect , it's about the memories & those around you supporting your decision . I'd love if this post actually had some supporting comments & solution rather than critics who have nothing better to do than point out what people are doing wrong & give your unsolicited opinion .

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    Lady, I am not uptight just because I think stuffing 2 year olds in a wagon with signs screams "OMG, look how perfect and in love and how close we are to our nieces and nephews that can't even talk yet are. Think of all the memories I'll have not even seeing them go down the aisle cause the bride goes last."

    I have a nephew that will be 14 months at our wedding. His sister will be three, and is our ring bearer. I'm not having her little brother do anything, because he can't do anything besides look cute at 14 months.
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    Anniversary
  • Ugh. Why has TK started sending me notifications whenever someone comments in this thread? I'm not even tagged! For the love of God, I hope it's not appearing that I'm the OP of this bullshit. 

    And I'm not uptight, OP. Nor are any of the other respondents. Do you not see that nobody HAS many suggestions for you OTHER than to tell you it's too many kids probably means there ARE no great solutions? 

    My new suggestion is that you make them all bridesmaids and groomsmen. It will be special and unique and all your friends and family will find it wonderful and adorable b/c they are not uptight like the rest of us. 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • edited January 2014
    "They're tough, they'll be okay"?


    ...


    Fucking really?!


    Yeah, cardboard props don't have to worry about potential injury, I guess. I'm so sorry I suggested showing a little concern for their safety.

    Look, my cousin had a bajillion freaking kids in her wedding. They were all four and up, so they had half a clue what to do. The youngest flowergirl spend the ceremony laying on the steps, which was just fucking adorable, as was the fact that she and the other flowergirl still had pompoms in their buckets at the end of the aisle, so they kept on throwing them. I don't give a shit about a 'perfect ceremony.' Mine was perfect, thankyouverymuch, wheelchair-bound ringbearer who had broken his leg included. Crying baby I never noticed included as well.

    We have continued to respond in favor of not having the littlest ones because it is not a good idea, and we do not advocate bad ideas on this forum. You can't say, "I am GOING to jump off this cliff; now stop telling me not to and tell me the best way to do it."
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  • let's just forget everything else here...

     

    ...OP if you're dedicated to this wagon idea, please clear it with your ceremony venue first.  As a PP has mentioned, many venues do not allow this for liability reasons.  You wouldn't want to roll up on your wedding day with a wagon and be told you can't use it and you need a backup plan.

  • So my fiance' and I have Six nephews and three nieces between the two of us. We are very close with all of them and could not simply pick one of each to be the flower girl and ring bearer. Does anyone have any ideas for how we could include all of them in the ceremony? The boys are 6, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 and the girls are 5, 1, 1. Thought about having the little ones in a wagon and one of the kids pulling them maybe? Would love to hear any ideas!
    My idea is not doing the wagon.  Children who are almost 2 could try to climb out of it an fall and get hurt.  My son is 16 months and I absolutely cannot see him sitting still in a wagon unless he is strapped in, especially once it stops moving.  They may get pulled in that wagon all the time and nothing bad has happened so far but that doesn't mean that tomorrow one of them won't try to get out of it.  The thing about kids that little is that they are going through a ton of changes so you absolutely cannot predict their future behavior based on current behavior.  Also, a wedding is a completely different situation and one of them may get scared and try to make a break for it.  My suggestion is that the youngest children be paired with an adult to walk with them down the aisle and keep them somewhat on track.

     I was at one wedding where they had a ton of kids.  One acted as the traditional flower girl.  The rest of the kids carried this long flower garland type thing in.  So they were all sort of joined together.  It was pretty cute.  These kids were more in the 5 and up range so it might not work with your crew.

    I get that you were put off by the response here and probably feel a little defensive.  However, the previous posters expressed a legitimate concern about the children being hurt.  As a mother I am put off by your apparent brushing off of this concern by saying "they're tough".  A lacerated scalp is a lacerated scalp no matter how "tough" the kid is.  

      
    Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • What relative are you going to give the "honor" of wrangling all of these brats around for your special day?
  • mobkaz said:
    You know what TK needs? A new board for newcomers and sensitive brides to practice posting. Common sense and honest opinions wouldn't be allowed to interfere with bridal visions. It could be called 'Validations' or 'Puppies and Rainbows' or something like that. Married old hags would be barred from posting there. 

    The 'Wedding 911' board would be a good home for the 'Bridal Validations' board.
    There must be some parameters for this.  Anyone who enters expecting validation would not be allowed to leave.  The poison cannot be spread.  If, at any point, an attempt for someone to abandon the Rainbow Room were to leave, a secret mod would have the power to engage this...
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    This. This just made my day and cracked me up. Thank you. 

    (And on top of that, I was scrutinized for expressing something on here but I still find this hilarious).
  • So my fiance' and I have Six nephews and three nieces between the two of us. We are very close with all of them and could not simply pick one of each to be the flower girl and ring bearer. Does anyone have any ideas for how we could include all of them in the ceremony? The boys are 6, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 and the girls are 5, 1, 1. Thought about having the little ones in a wagon and one of the kids pulling them maybe? Would love to hear any ideas!
    The reason no one has any ideas for something else they can do is because there really isn't.  Young children can be flower girls or ring bearers but there is really no other role.  They're too young to sing a song and too young to do a reading.  There isn't anything else for them to do.

    If you really want to, sure you can have 6 ring bearers and 3 flower girls if you want.  No one is stopping you.
  • Are you having a church ceremony? Ask the minister if he'll take 5 minutes to invite all the kids in attendence up for "Children's Time". He can give a brief child-friendly lesson on what marriage means, lead them in a short prayer, and send them on their way (obviously not a good idea if y'all are members of different faiths). The kids get to go up front, your photog can get a great shot of them, and your wedding won't look like a preschool parade.
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