Am I a terrible GF?

Re: Am I a terrible GF?

• bethsmiles member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  I don't think it would be awful to exchange it since he offered. Obviously he just wants to give you something that you love and will want to wear I think you should just make it clear how much you appreciate the thought behind the gift.
  
  As for feeling pressure to spend money you don't have, don't! Some people really love to give gifts, like me. I LOVE giving BF gifts and I pretty much always go over what he thinks I should spend. But I never have any expectations for him to spend the same amount of money on me. I never give a gift with the expectations of getting a gift of equal cost (or any gift at all for that matter) in return.
  

  
  

  
  

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• CLoGreenEyes member

  

  January 2014

  I agree with the others; since he offered, I think it's totally okay to exchange it for something you might like a little more. As beth and twotimes said, just make sure to emphasize how much you appreciate his effort and that you think it was so nice of him to go above and beyond with this gift.
  
  As for his birthday, I wouldn't stress about spending an equal amount of money on his gift if it's too much of a stretch. I'm sure he understands when things are tight. As long as you try to get him something he will genuinely enjoy, that is what matters, and I'm sure he will appreciate it.

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• phira member

  

  January 2014

  1) It is NOT terrible to exchange it. Be honest with him: You appreciate the gift very much, and you love that he got it for you, but it's just not your style. You would like to exchange it, but on the condition that he comes with you and picks it out with you. Emphasize that you want him to come with you so that you are still picking something out that he likes.

  
  

  2) Do NOT feel pressured to spend more than you can afford. My partner and I decided to get a fancy dinner and see a musical as our Christmas present to each other, and eventually agreed to spend $20 or less on surprise gifts for each other. I went on eBay and got him a video game he'd been trying to hunt down for ages. He bought me a Nintendo 3DS XL. I felt like I had to go get him something else, and he kept reassuring me that it was fine. You DID set a budget with your boyfriend, so I assume he knows you can't afford to spend a ton more than the budget on his gift.

  

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• audrewuh member

  

  January 2014

  Ditto. 
  
  Just thought my opinion would matter. 

  
  

  Beer. 

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  "You're our early 20's BSC scarecrow. They cower at your maturity." - lennonkdc

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• Dignity100 member

  

  January 2014

  I'm sure your BF would rather you have something you love and want to wear.  I would exchange it.  At least he tried - my FI always takes me with him to pick out my gifts... for FI's gifts, I generally look at his Amazon Wish List.
  

  
  
  
  

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• labro member

  

  January 2014

  I'm echoing everyone else. He realized after buying you the gift that he may have gotten you something you stated in the past wasn't your style so now he's offering to take you out to exchange it for something else. Don't feel guilty. You're the one wearing the jewelry and he wants to see you wearing something you like. My FI gave me a necklace last year for Christmas and I wear it all the time not only because he gave it to me, but also because I love the piece.

  As far as his birthday goes, just get him something thoughtful that he would appreciate that's also within your budget. Just because he spent x amount on you doesn't mean you need to equally reciprocate, especially if it's way outside your budget. He'll appreciate a gift that's thoughtful more than he'll appreciate a particular amount on a pricetag.

  
  

  
  

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• blabla89 member

  

  January 2014

  Thanks y'all. I appreciate your advice and I'm stressing out a lot less about it now. @LivLeighton you make a good point - I think the reason he bought it in the first place was because his mom gave me some Brighton stuff for Christmas and (of course) I told her I loved it. That's also why I mentioned to him later that it's not my style - because I thought he might pick up on that.
  
  @audrewuh I would gladly exchange the jewelry for an equivalent amount of beer, but it seems that the consensus is that we should go together and exchange it for something else from Brighton. Anything I pick out will probably be smaller and plainer and will cost less than what he gave me. I got his gift - made him tell me exactly what he wanted and I just ordered it, because I want to know it's something he'll use.
  
  One more question - would it be weird to exchange the necklace for a ring? He's saving up for an e-ring, but I would love to have an estate-style ring for my right hand. And that's something I would actually wear often, whereas I have so many necklaces that I never wear.
  

  

  
  
  

  
  

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• loves2shop4shoes member

  

  January 2014 edited January 2014

  I've run into this issue with DH more than once.

  
  

  If there is a way you can repurpose the gift to make it something you WILL use, do that.  For example, my DH got me a pandora necklace, with a bunch of charms.  I didn't like the way it looked.  at all.  So I put the charms on a bracelet, kept one on the necklace, and now it's something I'll use.

  
  

  If there's no way to repurpose it, exchange it.

  
  

  But from that last experience, I give concrete examples of what I want.  "DH, I'd really like…XYZ."  And I give so many examples that I know I'll still end up being surprised.

  
  

  It's a shame too.  He used to have good taste in jewelry.  He's sort of lost it over the years.

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