Wedding Invitations & Paper
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Should I invite my dad and his side of the family?

So here's the drama so far.... My dad and my stepdad do not get along at all. My stepdad has threatened my father and his wife numerous times. My mom really wants my stepdad to be there, but on the same hand, my father also doesn't like my mom's parents and is hesitant to go to my reception for that as well. He says it will be "really awkward". He wants to walk me down the aisle, but my maternal grandfather pratically raised me, and I would feel bad if my dad walked me down the aisle but didn't attend my reception. I want to confront him about the issue that for me it's all or nothing if he wants to come to the wedding, but I don't want to stir up anything as well. I'm going to have to talk about it at some point, I just don't know how or when. He kind of gets offended quickly, so I don't know how to tip toe my way around this subject. And to top that off, he's religious. So it doesn't help either if I told him not to walk me down the aisle. Also, as a side note, I barely see my dad's side even once a year.

I'm probably in the wrong section for this question but I didn't know where to put it.

Thanks if you had the patience to read this so far! :P

Re: Should I invite my dad and his side of the family?

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    I would say you get to chose who walks you down the aisle and that's that. If you want your grandpa who basically raised you then ask him. 

    I can't really help with when or how to talk to them about it but make sure you do it in private and remain calm.

    I would invite them and let them decide if they want to be adults and put any "drama" aside for your wedding. That's my opinion though.
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    I would talk to both sides of your family and explain that you are worried about there being drama and issues on your wedding day, so you are really hoping that they can all be adults and act civil for the wedding.
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    You choose who walks you down the aisle. If your dad wants to have a hissy fit because you want your GF to walk you down, then that is his loss and shows poorly on him.

    Invite whom you want to invite. If you choose to invite step-dad and dad, you can let them know before hand that the other is invited and if anything escalates, security will escort them off the premises. And then have security to escort anyone who starts anything away.

    Hopefully everyone will act like an adult for one day.
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    Anniversary
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    You get to choose who will walk you down the aisle. No one else gets to make that decision for you.

    I vote for sitting all of the involved parties down -- separately -- and telling them that they are expected to be on their best behaviour for one day, that you will be inviting people from all branches of the family and that you expect them all to get along. If they can't promise to put aside their differences for one day, then THEY have taken themselves off the invite list.
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    Absolutely agree with PPs. My sister had to have that talk with our parents before her wedding and they all managed to get along (and thankfully this has been reinforced with them for 9 years, so they're all friendly now that it's time for my wedding!). I would be very firm that this day belongs to you and your FH, and anything that anyone does to detract from YOUR DAY will have very long lasting repercussions beyond that day. "Get along, or else." Misstep and you will be asked to leave immediately and permanently. If they cannot agree to those terms and your selection of who walks you down the aisle, then they are choosing to not be invited.

    You might also want to have the conversation with your venue or a groomsman/usher and ask what type of support you'll have should the need arise to ask someone to leave. Plan for the worst so you don't have anyone making a scene. And this probably goes without saying, but seat them VERY far apart from each other. :) Good luck!!!

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