And here I thought all the difficulties were getting it through to my FSMIL that her siblings were not invited. Sigh. NOPE.
I spoke to my mom this morning about how planning is going. Parents gave me an amount for wedding costs, but have indicated more is available if needed. FI's folks had said they would give us 5k to use for the rehersal dinner- anything afterwards, we would get to keep as their gift to us. To date we have not received any of the 5k- while I trust FI and his folks, I've explained to FI that until the money is in his account, I am not counting on it for an RD.
We decided to have a nice RD at our favorite restaurant for immediate family and the bridal party (I know the rule- either immediate family/bridal party only or you invite all the out of town guests, and we wanted one intimate meal with just immediate family). This was also what I calculated we could afford if the funds from his folks didn't come through. This constitutes about 24 people, ourselves included. The room holds a max of 30.
My mother, since we booked the RD in November, has been commenting on offering to pay for a friend of my Dad's and his wife to attend the RD. I've met these people once, they are pleasant, but were on the invite list at my Dad's request (he who pays gets a say rule). They have yet to RSVP that they are attending. I've made it clear to my Mom that they were not being invited to the RD. She routinely points out they are coming down from Chicago, and I point out that this is an intimate dinner- not even my beloved adopted aunt is invited, especially since she's coming with a friend of hers as a guest rather than my uncle, another total stranger, and she's flying from NY state!
This morning, mom again mentions offering to pay for dad's friends to attend, and having said something to dad along these lines. I finally had to say to her "I don't know how to make this clearer to you- they are not invited to the RD! FI and I decided this, and how do you think the other OOT guests AND FI's family would feel that we had to cut out some additional family yet let these friends attend?! How would auntie feel if she found out?! I will not go through this again, but this decision is final, regardless of the remaining space in the room!" (I didn't shout at her, but my voice was quite firm).
My question- am I justified in getting after her/saying this to her again? Should I cancel my RD and have it at a less expensive place, resend RD invites, and let everyone and their mother attend? Or stick with my plan of immediate family/bridal party only? (Note: the hotel block we reserved for people is right next to a TGIF, Outback, Bonefish Grill, Five Guys, Moe's Gehngis Grill, Newks, Publix, Village Inn, Panera, McDonalds, Trader Joes, and Steak and Shake, along with several local places- all within a 2 mile radius. OOT guests will not be starving or lack for choices!)