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May 2014 Weddings
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Brides/wives

dlubertsdluberts member
5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
in May 2014 Weddings
So I don't mean to offend ayone but...does it ever bother anyone else when reading posts from women who are no longer brides but are married and now wives??? I really don't know why this bothers me. I guess I feel like..you've already planned your day, it's our time now? Idk, just kinda irks me.lol
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Re: Brides/wives

  • Kristen625Kristen625 member
    5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    It sometimes bugs me, but at the same time, I sort of understand why they are still around.  Because they are married, they are able to give advise about wedding stuff to women who have never planned a wedding before.  Some have never really been to a wedding prior to getting married, and so they may not know what they really need for the day.  I do agree that they can be harsh and rude some of the time as well, and I don't think that is okay.  I think they forget that there are some really young women here that really just don't have a clue, and could use some kinder advise.
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  • MrsAitchMrsAitch member
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    I don't see how they can preach etiquette while constantly being rude and snotty to others. It's nice to have some advice from ladies who are already married, but if you got married more than a year ago I am seriously confused as to why you are still posting here. The assumption I would make is that they were obsessed with wedding planning and are sad it's over. I also love it how anyone who disagrees with them is a "troll." Either they don't know what a troll is, or they have such high opinions of themselves that they think no one could possibly continue disagree with them.
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  • dlubertsdluberts member
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    mrsaitch...that's my feelings exactly.
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  • bellaluna290bellaluna290 member
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    edited January 2014
    chibiyui said:
    I like advice from people who know what they're talking about, as opposed to people pulling it out of their ass.
    This!

    Sometimes it takes people who have been there to provide perspective.
    Some things that people get all riled up over really don't matter at the end of the day.

    eta: also, I have been on TK since I got engaged in 2010. Things here sure as hell aren't like they used to be ;)
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  • dlubertsdluberts member
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    I'm not talking about the women who give good advice. I'm talking about the ones that attack you for doing something different than what they think is right, or what they did at their wedding. I come on here for advice.. not for a woman who got married 3 yrs ago and is still pushing her beliefs to what she thinks you have to do on newer brides. I firmly believe that every bride/groom are different and everone has the right to do their wedding their own way. Whether or not it's against what "etiquette" says.
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  • tammym1001tammym1001 member
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    I do like that there are women on here who are already married and can help with advice that someone who has never been married before wouldn't think of. I agree that some of them can be pretty rude about it though. I think it's funny when they complain about brides coming on here and asking the same questions all the time and how they're tired of answering them. If you're tired of answering questions for new brides then you should probably find another hobby besides posting on TK :)
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  • pbi9994pbi9994 member
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    tammym1001 said:
    I do like that there are women on here who are already married and can help with advice that someone who has never been married before wouldn't think of. I agree that some of them can be pretty rude about it though. I think it's funny when they complain about brides coming on here and asking the same questions all the time and how they're tired of answering them. If you're tired of answering questions for new brides then you should probably find another hobby besides posting on TK :)
    Or at least don't answer those questions, and let someone else do it. It's super weird that some of these women act like you walked into their office and asked something offensive while they were busy. Chill out, ladies! If you have something more important to do, by all means, do it. No one here is stopping you.
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  • chibiyuichibiyui member
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    dluberts said:
    I'm not talking about the women who give good advice. I'm talking about the ones that attack you for doing something different than what they think is right, or what they did at their wedding. I come on here for advice.. not for a woman who got married 3 yrs ago and is still pushing her beliefs to what she thinks you have to do on newer brides. I firmly believe that every bride/groom are different and everone has the right to do their wedding their own way. Whether or not it's against what "etiquette" says.
    Most of the etiquette issues are for the bride and grooms sake though. It's good to gain outside perspective, and especially since weddings are a joining of families and different perspectives it's beneficial to do things "by the book" if you will, so as to not offend someone. And that includes stuff like mentioning gifts on invites, cash bars, dollar dances, requesting cash at showers, etc.

    You certainly have the right to do your wedding however you want. You must also deal with the consequences of your actions though.
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  • bellaluna290bellaluna290 member
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    chibiyui said:
    dluberts said:
    I'm not talking about the women who give good advice. I'm talking about the ones that attack you for doing something different than what they think is right, or what they did at their wedding. I come on here for advice.. not for a woman who got married 3 yrs ago and is still pushing her beliefs to what she thinks you have to do on newer brides. I firmly believe that every bride/groom are different and everone has the right to do their wedding their own way. Whether or not it's against what "etiquette" says.
    Most of the etiquette issues are for the bride and grooms sake though. It's good to gain outside perspective, and especially since weddings are a joining of families and different perspectives it's beneficial to do things "by the book" if you will, so as to not offend someone. And that includes stuff like mentioning gifts on invites, cash bars, dollar dances, requesting cash at showers, etc.

    You certainly have the right to do your wedding however you want. You must also deal with the consequences of your actions though.
    I really agree with this. A lot of people use a wedding as an excuse to act like ungrateful brats, and again perspective is needed.
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  • KittyKaty20KittyKaty20 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper

    I haven't seen one yet, but I think it would be wonderful if there was a "curse-word-free" wedding board...

    I only feel "icky" about the posts when "blue" language starts being used. It is entirely possible to share a post on etiquette without using swear words; that's when OP/PP seem to feel attacked.

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  • ohxhiohxhi member
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    I think the trolls are the ones offering opinions that makes other people feel like they're doing something wrong.  We're all here to give advice, not make one another feel bad for our decisions.  

    We're adults, so I think (or hope) we've learned the "actions have consequences lesson."  I have a mother, I don't need any trollish, judgy mother wannabees on TK.  That's why I hang out with you guys :)
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