Anxiously waiting on my proposal

Blackbird230 · January 2014

Seconding @Dignity100 since I'm in the camp of being engaged without a ring and I'm not even looking at venues yet since we're waiting a good 2 years. Family has been told, it's all good. Just no ring, no grand proposal. Just a cuddling on the couch, will you marry me?

mbross3 · January 2014

Face-palmed after the third sentence.

I do have to agree that if you are planning a wedding- you are already engaged! Call him your FI and be happy that you're getting to marry the man that you love and continue with your planning.

Since you made this agreement to get married, a proposal after the fact is redundant at best. If your FI wants to do some elaborate romantic gesture, that's up to him. What I will say is, don't expect it and don't wait for it. You've already agreed to be his wife (by far the most important thing) and so waiting on him to "propose marriage" doesn't make much sense and you certainly don't need a ring to be engaged.

All that said, just enjoy this time! Don't stress about a proposal or romantic gesture or whatever it is or when it's going to happen. If he decides to do something more, he will in his own time.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

cpalasz said:

First off - I never said I did not consider myself engaged, just waiting on an official proposal.

Secondly - I wasn't aware that gif's with curse words, calling someone crazy, heavy sarcasm or saying "this can't be for real" were positive things?

These two statements are inconsistent. If you consider yourself engaged, you are engaged. If you need an "official" proposal, you aren't engaged.

For the record, DH and I got engaged in December, when he said to me, "Marry me," and I agreed to. No ring, no big fancy proposal, just a question and an agreement. From that moment, we were officially engaged.

If you need an "official" proposal so that you have some epic story to tell your friends, then your priorities are wrong.

phira · January 2014

We picked a date to get engaged, bought/designed engagement rings, and then had a big dinner to tell our families. Neither one of us ever formally asked the other to marry them. I guess this means we're not engaged?

suzie211 · January 2014

Congrats, you're engaged. People do this every day without a big, splashy proposal.

Also, this is the internet. If you want to play in a forum, you will need to learn not everyone will agree with you. This means people will not blow smoke up your ass and pretend life is all sunshine and rainbows. You made a statement and people honestly replied. You are not allowed to dictate no responses unless they agree with you.

I wish you the best of luck in planning. The women here are pretty fucking amazing. If you stick around, you will see that. We may not all agree 100%, and will happily voice a difference in opinion, but we are happy to support each other.

I encourage you to lurk some more, and then try to jump in other threads.

lennonkdc · January 2014

cpalasz said:

First off - I never said I did not consider myself engaged, just waiting on an official proposal.

Secondly - I wasn't aware that gif's with curse words, calling someone crazy, heavy sarcasm or saying "this can't be for real" were positive things?

Seriously, I was willing to give you the benefit of the doubt until I read the bolded. You're official proposal was him saying "were getting married the summer" . For fucks sake this isn't the god damn movies, if I have to deal with one more newb crying over how she's not OFFICALLY engaged yet because the proposal wastn't "Offical" or "Grand" or didn't make you feel like the most awesomest special thing EVAR I'm gonna go GIF bomb crazy.

My proposal from my BF of 9 years took place while eating take out ribs with his parents in their backyard, on a whim after I joked about going to the courthouse the next week. He didn't have a ring, his mom ran inside to dig out a costume ring, so he could 'ask me right'. We considered ourselves engaged from that moment on, and when my ring finally arrived, we didn't try to 'redo' the proposal b/c we were already engaged, and even though it wasn't grand, or over the top or whatever, it was real and genuine.

Get over it.

kaitlynmichelle · January 2014

But what if he doesn't propose before the wedding date?!

Seriously though, you're engaged. I found my simple and sweet proposal better than any elaborate or grand gesture anyway.

freehugs015 · January 2014

I kind of understand where OP is coming from. My FI and I decided together we wanted to get married and set a date. As soon as that happened, I took off, going to websites, asking my ladies, doing all my research and getting a bridal binder. But I was still excited about the ring. Trust me, if you're already doing planning, focus on that, and when the proposal comes it will be that much more exciting. For me, I was in the middle of discussing our guest list with my FI and he said, "hey babe, can you hand me the chapstick?" and as I turned back, he was on his knee, with the ring out and said, "oh since we are talking wedding, I think you need this. And...will you marry me?" And of course I said yes! And as silly as it may sound, it was perfect. So I guess my point is, yes it is a very exciting time, but trust me, try not to stress about the proposal, because no matter how he does it, it will be amazing because he is the love of your life! Focus on planning the celebration of your joining together as husband and wife

And enjoy being engaged and calling him your Fiance! It only happens once and its a very short time.

MollyandD · January 2014

I've always felt "proposals" only are necessary if the proposer is actually asking a question that he/she isn't sure of the answer to.

I never had a proposal, because we had talked together about how we wanted to get married already, so there was nothing that needed asking. We considered our engagement to be official when we were at the mall and he asked if I wanted to go look at rings. I picked my ring out that day, we went home and told family members, and then I started planning the wedding.

Congratulations on being engaged. I hope he proposes before your wedding date!

But seriously, enjoy planning. You are engaged already, and that's wonderful for you. I hope you have a beautiful wedding.

Pepperally · February 2014

Some men are very traditional and it isn't even about the girl pressuring them to propose in a certain way. I've really tried to convince my bf that he doesn't have to go with tradition, that I'm not very traditional and I don't need an ellaborate proposal, a fancy ring, etc. He is still insistent that he has this idea of what the "right" way should be, so I am just letting him do whatever he needs to do. When I try to tell him, hey, don't spend tons of money on a ring, he gets all flustered and asks me to just chill, that he is doing what he has his mind set on. He's already told me that we will be getting married some time this year, so we do have conversations about what we want as far as the wedding, but I don't go too far with it because he likes to do things the "right" way, so there is no real planning taking place, only general discussion.

So, I get your anxiousness about wanting the proposal. If the ring is part of what you both envision as being part of your plan, then there's nothing wrong with getting excited about it. If he is doing some sort of grand proposal and it's because he wants to, then cool. If he's doing it because you insisted that it must be done that way, then that's not too cool in my opinion.

Anxiously waiting on my proposal

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