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Wedding Planning Sucks...

abrewer5abrewer5 member
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in Wedding Woes

Does anyone else find wedding planning absolutely miserable or am I alone here?? I have 109 days until my wedding and it cannot come soon enough!

Just knowing the insane amount of money being spent on it is driving me mad, in addition to all the decisions I have to make. At this point I'm seriously considering cutting my losses, cancelling the wedding, and going to Vegas.

What was supposed to be a manageable wedding of 150 people w/out kids has turned into 215 people w/ kids so we don't offend everyone and their brother. It's just so annoying, but he who pays gets a say, so I guess our parents have that right. It just sucks I have to make up the additional money to fund the additional people.

Sorry, I really just needed to vent. I'm done sounding like a spoiled brat lol! :)

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Re: Wedding Planning Sucks...

  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    abrewer5 said:

    Does anyone else find wedding planning absolutely miserable or am I alone here?? I have 109 days until my wedding and it cannot come soon enough!

    Just knowing the insane amount of money being spent on it is driving me mad, in addition to all the decisions I have to make. At this point I'm seriously considering cutting my losses, cancelling the wedding, and going to Vegas.

    What was supposed to be a manageable wedding of 150 people w/out kids has turned into 215 people w/ kids so we don't offend everyone and their brother. It's just so annoying, but he who pays gets a say, so I guess our parents have that right. It just sucks I have to make up the additional money to fund the additional people.

    Sorry, I really just needed to vent. I'm done sounding like a spoiled brat lol! :)

    Whoa what?  So your parents decided that additional people needed to be invited yet they aren't going to pay for them?  Remember when you said, those who pay gets a say, well you are paying as well and can certainly tell your parents no you won't cover the extra expense of people that you didn't want to invite in the first place.

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  • emmyg65emmyg65 member
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    I did find it to be pretty miserable at times. My then-fiancé finally had a conversation about cutting our losses and eloping, but we decided that it was worth it to have the wedding. So then I just tried to concentrate only on the important stuff and forget the rest. In the end, it was totally worth it.

    You're not a spoiled brat. Only you and your FH can decide whether it's best to elope, or if there are some things you can simplify or eliminate.
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  • vmj23vmj23 member
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    yes, i hate it! I'm not a planner.  I can envision what i want, i just wish i coudl pay someone else to do it all for me (but with the amount already being spent on this wedding, that's not happening!).  I just wish the day would be here already and we can be done with the planning and be married!
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  • Knottie37373131Knottie37373131 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I thought I would love planning my wedding. . . until I started planning my wedding. We have been engaged since July 3rd, 2013, and after months of not being able to decide on anything we have finally booked a destination wedding for ourselves. We figured we can not please everyone. We are getting married in Jamaica on May 15, 2015.
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  • sharksightings88sharksightings88 member
    First Comment
    edited January 2014
    I consistently get migraines when I talk to my soon to be mother-in-law on the phone about plans. My fiancee is in med school in Boston, but we're having the wedding in NJ where his parents live, and planning remotely makes it all the more stressful because we can't meet with our vendors directly. Also, the mother-in-law makes lots of comments about how the venue I chose is too small or not fancy enough. We got engaged in July and didn't start planning until December. There was only 1 venue in NJ I could find that was available on a Saturday for the (essentially) only weekend in 2014 we could get married before my fiancee would have to start his research project, and only 1 venue that looked nice enough and included catering & venue space rental in the price per person. I wind up wringing my hands in the air when I'm on the phone with her and she makes these comments or I start crying. We're splitting the costs 70%-30% because my parents can't foot any of the bill, and I WISH I could pay for more to make all the decisions and not hear these remarks.

    But I guess it'll all breeze by and you'll never have to do it again as long as you don't split up. Hooray?
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  • Rosa1988Rosa1988 member
    First Comment
    I hate planning mine too.  This is all bullshit.  Why do I have to jump through all these stupid hoops just to call the man I love my husband?
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  • BlergbotBlergbot member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    It's definitely not as fun as I thought it would be. And now that I have most of it planned/booked the waiting begins...but I really am going to try to just relax and have fun that day. Still, if you're absolutely miserable then maybe an elopement is in order!
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Maggie0829 said:
    abrewer5 said:

    Does anyone else find wedding planning absolutely miserable or am I alone here?? I have 109 days until my wedding and it cannot come soon enough!

    Just knowing the insane amount of money being spent on it is driving me mad, in addition to all the decisions I have to make. At this point I'm seriously considering cutting my losses, cancelling the wedding, and going to Vegas.

    What was supposed to be a manageable wedding of 150 people w/out kids has turned into 215 people w/ kids so we don't offend everyone and their brother. It's just so annoying, but he who pays gets a say, so I guess our parents have that right. It just sucks I have to make up the additional money to fund the additional people.

    Sorry, I really just needed to vent. I'm done sounding like a spoiled brat lol! :)

    Whoa what?  So your parents decided that additional people needed to be invited yet they aren't going to pay for them?  Remember when you said, those who pay gets a say, well you are paying as well and can certainly tell your parents no you won't cover the extra expense of people that you didn't want to invite in the first place.
    This. How are YOU having to pay for these extra guests? 


    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • ab6704aab6704a member
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    Yup, I'm hating it too.  I'm sure I'll have a great time the day of and cherish the memories later, but planning it has sucked.
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  • schellzinatorschellzinator member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I agree with @blergbot - if you are that miserable - elope. It sounds as if the wedding you want to have isn't going to please everyone anyway.
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  • abrewer5abrewer5 member
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    Thank you all for making me feel less crazy. I was really worried I was alone here. At this point eloping isn't an option, although it would be a lot of fun. We're hoping for at least a few "no" rsvps considering our list is at 220.

    I think I'll enjoy the day when it gets here, it's just getting there that's a challenge.

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  • bookworm1115bookworm1115 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    I'm right there with everyone.  I thought it would be a blast, but I am entirely too eager to be done with it.  I'm trying to get all of the big things done by March so that I can take about a month off and not think about it for a while.  I just keep trying to think that it's the only time in my life that it will happen and it will be over eventually.  Keep thinking about the honeymoon when you can take a break from everything and just relax with nothing else to plan for a good, long while!
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  • WzzWzz member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    what are you people doing that is so hated, and why are you still doing it?
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    So is OP just completely ignoring the questions Addie and I have about her guest list issues?

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  • abrewer5abrewer5 member
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    Maggie0829 said:
    So is OP just completely ignoring the questions Addie and I have about her guest list issues?

    Sorry, I didn't intentionally ignore your question. Our parents gave us set budgets for the wedding, and with the extra people we're over that budget. They refuse to cut people from list for fear of offending them, so that leaves us to cover the extra. Originally we requested it be a 50/50/50 spilt, but they couldn't cut the list enough to accomodate that, so that's where we're at. It's difficult because we've tried talking to them about it, but they still refuse to cut the list and say everything will be fine.
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  • abrewer5abrewer5 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Wzz said:
    what are you people doing that is so hated, and why are you still doing it?

    Planning a huge wedding to accomodate our parents wishes. And we're still doing it because it would severly hurt our parents feelings if we didn't, so we don't have much choice. Not to mention it would cost a lot to cancel now considering the wedding is in May.
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  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    abrewer5 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    So is OP just completely ignoring the questions Addie and I have about her guest list issues?

    Sorry, I didn't intentionally ignore your question. Our parents gave us set budgets for the wedding, and with the extra people we're over that budget. They refuse to cut people from list for fear of offending them, so that leaves us to cover the extra. Originally we requested it be a 50/50/50 spilt, but they couldn't cut the list enough to accomodate that, so that's where we're at. It's difficult because we've tried talking to them about it, but they still refuse to cut the list and say everything will be fine.
    I would refuse to pay for their extra guests.  They went over their limit so they should pay for them. You shouldn't have to foot the bill for their mistake.

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  • abrewer5abrewer5 member
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    Maggie0829 said:
    abrewer5 said:
    Maggie0829 said:
    So is OP just completely ignoring the questions Addie and I have about her guest list issues?

    Sorry, I didn't intentionally ignore your question. Our parents gave us set budgets for the wedding, and with the extra people we're over that budget. They refuse to cut people from list for fear of offending them, so that leaves us to cover the extra. Originally we requested it be a 50/50/50 spilt, but they couldn't cut the list enough to accomodate that, so that's where we're at. It's difficult because we've tried talking to them about it, but they still refuse to cut the list and say everything will be fine.
    I would refuse to pay for their extra guests.  They went over their limit so they should pay for them. You shouldn't have to foot the bill for their mistake.

    I've expressed concern over paying, but I need to talk with them again and tell them not only am I concened about making up the difference, but there's no way I financially can. Thanks for the advice.
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