terrible ideas people have had about your wedding

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

Can we start this thread? I know their has been a similar thread, but I really need a laugh today and I expanded it to terrible ideas people have had about your wedding.

This could be etiquette or just something that isn't you.

My FI wanted his groomsmen to wear different comic book ties. I convinced him that was inappropriate for the ceremony, which I want to have a more serious theme and will probably be at a church. Also none of his groomsmen like superheros, so how odd would that be? We had a big debate about it, because I didn't want to forbid it but had to convince him why I thought it was a bad idea. I'm compromising on other things though.

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

Also, my mom wanted a cash bar and the cheapest meals. My dad agreed to limited bar (which is perfectly fine with us) and said there would be no cash bar under his watch.

pumpkinsandturkeys · January 2014

We actually haven't experienced too many of these that I can recall.

The one that sticks out for me is my mum thinking (in the very beginning) that our wedding was going to be some kind of weird family reunion that included all of the aunts and uncles I haven't seen for 10+ years because they decided they didn't want anything to do with the rest of the family. Um, nope. Not happening. We had a few frank conversations about the size of the wedding (35 people, give or take) and who would and would not be making the cut. I think that was my only Bridezillaesque, "this is OUR day; this is what WE want" moment.

MayDay513 · January 2014

"Plan on people coming 2 hours late" Like invite people at 5:30 but dont plan on dinner until 7:30.
I said Eff that, you should have seen all the late people who were late to the ceremony...

lyndausvi · January 2014

I didn't really have any horrible ideas presented to us. Both sides are full meals, open top shelf bar, put our guests before ourselves type hosts.

It's the only way I know how to host (wedding or another wise).

The comic ties would not have bothered me. In a church, maybe? But not if it was a non-relgious wedding.

climbingsingle · January 2014

My friend suggested a honeyfund. Same friend is also not happy with the low-key bach party my MOH is planning and is begging to throw me an additional bach party where we take a limo into the city and drink and dance. Ugh. I did that kind of bach party already 10 years ago! And this friend was there for it!

My FI wants to have the ceremony hanging off the side of a mountain. I don't want to. We have yet to come to an agreement.

Chipmunk415 · January 2014

Mom suggested disposable cameras on each of the tables to get candid photos. That idea died when I told her about horror stories related to those kinds of cameras.

FI wanted to have something "extra" as a favor. The "take home, throw it out/never look at it again" type favor.

FI's folks suggested a PPD, so FI could get on my insurance sooner.

HisGirlFriday13 · January 2014

DH's grandmother wanted a B-list of guests that she could sub in after her family RSVP'd 'no.'

She also wanted to have her pastor come and co-perform our ceremony even though she is Lutheran and DH and I are Catholic (and don't like her pastor, but that's another story).

Funny story: Mom and I were taking about the processional order and I said, 'Brother will walk you down, seat you, then go up front to play the music.' Daddy says, 'I can walk her down! I'll walk her down and then we'll sit together.'

Mom and I looked at him and were like, 'Uhmmm...you'll be in the back of the church with HisGirl, you know, to walk her down the aisle?'

He got this kind of blank look on his face and was like, 'Oh...right...I forgot.'

(My dad and I gave an awesome relationship and there was never a question he'd walk me down the aisle, but blesshisheart, he is oblivious to wedding planning and protocol and order. He was totally surprised the day-of to be given a boutonniere. Just completely shocked.)

AddieCake · January 2014

This is not too terrible, but more head-scratching. My aunt loves Peeps. She insisted there be Peeps at my wedding. I have no idea why. She kept talking about the Peeps and I assumed she was kidding. She wasn't. The woman actually brought a few boxes of Peeps and set them out on our gift table. By the time I saw them, it was too late to make an issue of it. I'm sure people wondered WTF they were doing there.

JaxInBlue · January 2014

Family proposed a pot-luck style with a blanket invitation to our families' church communities. It was not a church wedding. We killed that one pretty quickly.

Other than that, there were specific ideas given about which traditions we should follow, how formal things should be and why there had to be a limit to the guest list, but we managed to strike the balance between listening and doing. It didn't keep me from recommending to my little sister that she seriously consider eloping when it was her turn.

MrsDeRuyter87 · January 2014

AddieL73 said:

This is not too terrible, but more head-scratching. My aunt loves Peeps. She insisted there be Peeps at my wedding. I have no idea why. She kept talking about the Peeps and I assumed she was kidding. She wasn't. The woman actually brought a few boxes of Peeps and set them out on our gift table. By the time I saw them, it was too late to make an issue of it. I'm sure people wondered WTF they were doing there.

WTF...so random lol

sarahufl · January 2014

AddieL73 said:

This is not too terrible, but more head-scratching. My aunt loves Peeps. She insisted there be Peeps at my wedding. I have no idea why. She kept talking about the Peeps and I assumed she was kidding. She wasn't. The woman actually brought a few boxes of Peeps and set them out on our gift table. By the time I saw them, it was too late to make an issue of it. I'm sure people wondered WTF they were doing there.

hahaha, Peeps? Like marshmallow peeps? That is strange. Can I ask if they were Easter Peeps, or the other holiday ones?

chibiyui · January 2014

FI thinks he'd look dashing in a cape. I don't disagree, but we're not doing a costume/renaissance wedding...

Also, I had some bad ideas before I came on here, like a down payment registry and asking people to wear hats.... Glad I got over thar.

AddieCake · January 2014

Yes, Easter Peeps. Our wedding was in March, so they were available. Somewhere I have a picture of them on the table.

KytchynWitche · January 2014

Most of the terrible ideas have come from FMIL. She's totally obsessed with us making money, so we should invite 3 times as many people as our venue can hold, because they won't actually come but they'll send money. Which is totally ridiculous anyway, because if we were worried about money we could just elope and use our wedding savings to "start a life together".

And apparently a main table is mandatory and parents must be seated there - which I would agree with IF said parents were hosting, but they're not. She pitched a fit when I said that parents weren't going to sit at the main table, if we even have a main table, because my parents are divorced and there's all kinds of drama. To which she replied that she didn't care and I must sort it out because she's going to sit with her son. Moot point now, because my dad won't be at the wedding.

Cash bar has been suggested, as has a bring-a-dish "reception", both of which I squashed flat. And we've been criticised for a lot of our decisions, like only having 1 attendant each, not having dancing, having a time limit for speeches, and limiting the speeches to BM and us.

firebabe6519 · January 2014

Cash bar, potluck, and honey fund are a few recommendations so far... Also general church invitations. Our wedding is not at a church and is nonreligious so not to offend n stir up trouble between our family friends. They already are up in arms because FI is Jewish, I was raised Baptist, and the other half of the family includes several Catholic priests. Just no...

NavyBlue143 · January 2014

H wanted us to charge for liquor to recoup costs. I told him we would absolutely not charge our guests who had all traveled several hours and had to stay overnight for alcohol that we had been allowed to supply ourselves. When I put it that way, he agreed, but ugh. We're Texans! We are supposed to be all about hospitality!

Mom wanted a complete at home reenactment reception for her hoards of friends that I didn't know. She said we'd get more gifts because some of these people are very wealthy. No.

lizandmark2014 · January 2014

The only one I got was 'just tell everyone you BYOB.' ( Sunday at 2pm)

smalfrie19 · January 2014

D is still trying to push for no seating chart. ..and my aunt.. and my mom.. and I am like NO!!! I have people coming from OOT who DONT KNOW ANYONE! I don't want them end up sitting in the back next to my CRAZY great grandmother! I LIKE my friends!

Peaseblossom55 · January 2014

Fi wanted to start a honeymoon registry mostly for excursions. Once I looked over the website and showed him there was a 9% fee he agreed to back down from the idea.

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

lyndausvi We are having a religious ceremony. And I thought it would be odd to make the gm wear ties for something they don't enjoy (comics).

Ooo. I forgot, my parents didn't want to do a seating chart, but I went to a wedding without one and it was so awkward. We are doing a seating chart. FI wanted a head table without SO's, I talked him into a sweetheart table.

He also wanted my MOH to make a toast. Like he wanted me to make her do it. She hates hates hates speaking in front of people and only knows my immediate family, we are inviting 200+ people, I would never do that to her. She already asked me if she could do a toast at the rehearsal dinner which I said she could.

My parents want to put registry cards in the invites. Thank goodness I'm doing invites because that will not be happening.

I think they have good intentions but they never really went through all this. When they got married they didn't register and had no money. They got engaged in October and married in December. They did an off-meal time with cake and punch, which is what is traditional in their small town. Potlucks were also traditional because no-one had any money. So I talked them out of that.

Fi is trying to make his dad pay for the traditional groom's family stuff because he felt awkward that my family was paying for the wedding, but I talked him out of that.

WinstonsGirl · January 2014

DH vetoed my desire to walk down the aisle after the ceremony to "I was Made for Loving You" by Kiss. Worst idea he had for our wedding.

ShallowSeas · January 2014

My FMIL, bless her heart, asked if I wanted to wear her wedding dress. I respectfully declined.

My FI suggested a cash bar...that was a big NO. Once I explained why, he totally got it and was like, "yeah...no never-mind that idea."

My mother thought it would be neat if I wore a silver or light gray wedding dress... -_-

Someone, I can't remember who, also mentioned that we should have a PPD... oh hell no.

ETA: TOTALLY forgot this one... my mom said that maybe I could wear the dress from my first marriage to this wedding to save money...no. And any way, I sold that dress and took me and FI on vacation with the money

ElcaB · January 2014

Having our guests stand during my Plan B ceremony (Plan A is outdoors).

JaniV123 · January 2014

well my mother insiting me and FI dont pay for the wedding because my uncles and grandma and her are going to pay for it yet no one had told us anything. I respectfully explained to her that we were going to pay for our wedding and that if any money was offered it would be welcome but not asked for.

My FI suggested a cash bar, I explained to him why that was not appropiate

and that is it so far

MrsAitch · January 2014

I had worked with someone at Bed Bath and Beyond to start my registry who actually used to babysit my fiance. She was very sweet and didn't pressure me or do anything crazy except telling me that registering for things you don't want is not a bad idea (why?). I walked in to a different BBB with my fiance to add a couple of items and the consultant there checked to make sure I had enough registry cards to put in all of my wedding and shower invitations (I didn't get any actually, fine by me!) and said to be sure to write "gift cards to xxx and xxx would also be appreciated" on the back. I just was like "ok sure can we please scan the 3 items we came to scan and get out of here?"

MollyandD · January 2014

I think all the "out there" ideas have been mine and my boy's. So that means we will be doing all we can to have the off beat wedding we can look back on forever.

I feel good about it.

Kauris · January 2014

My friend keeps saying she is seeing a Great Gatsby theme for my wedding. I keep telling her that the theme is "Get Married." That if we wanted to base our theme on a tragic story, I'd do Romeo and Juliet, because then I can do favors with little daggers and vials of poison.

pinkshorts27 · January 2014

Molly&Domenic said:

I think all the "out there" ideas have been mine and my boy's. So that means we will be doing all we can to have the off beat wedding we can look back on forever. I feel good about it.

I understand. We are doing some stuff to reflect us as a couple. I just could not handle comic book or super hero ties.

kasmith1 too funny. I've had a few friends ask me the same thing. My response was similar.

MollyandD · January 2014

@blueeyes90 What are your things that will reflect you?

FiancB · January 2014

When we first got engaged, my Catholic parents found out that at some point at his life, FI was baptized. "Oh good, then you can get married in the church no problem!" Never mind the fact that FI has pretty much not been back since and I told them years ago I am an atheist, baptized as a baby or not.

So when I said I really, really didn't want to get married in a church they have both recommended a PPD where I get married in the church in secret and then have a pretend outdoor ceremony later. Umm, that still doesn't work with the fact that we're NOT RELIGIOUS.

They also keep telling us that we should keep it simple and small because they only had like 15 people at theirs. Um yeah that's great but we actually have friends, and most of those friends are also married, a lot of them with kids. Just inviting my immediate family is 10 people right there because my sister has 5 kids, and almost everyone in our BP is married so that's another 13-15 people right there.

Ours still isn't going to be THAT big, probably around 80 people so it's not extravagantly ginormous by any means- but it's going to be a fair size unless we are going to tell people to not bring their SOs, which obviously would probably be the rudest idea to ever hit TK.

Having a hard time convincing FI that we shouldn't have a cash bar and we shouldn't have a head table excluding SOs but we'll worry about that later.

That said I do like offbeat ideas and have a few myself. I'm just tired of the "Oh your wedding isn't going to be exactly like ours OH THE HORROR". I'm amazed at how flabbergasted people still get at the idea of having a wedding outside of a church.

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