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lovesclimbing · January 2014

lovesclimbing said:

shelnjosh2014 said:

So my fiance' and I have Six nephews and three nieces between the two of us. We are very close with all of them and could not simply pick one of each to be the flower girl and ring bearer. Does anyone have any ideas for how we could include all of them in the ceremony? The boys are 6, 4, 4, 3, 2, 1 and the girls are 5, 1, 1. Thought about having the little ones in a wagon and one of the kids pulling them maybe? Would love to hear any ideas!

The reason no one has any ideas for something else they can do is because there really isn't. Young children can be flower girls or ring bearers but there is really no other role. They're too young to sing a song and too young to do a reading. There isn't anything else for them to do.

If you really want to, sure you can have 6 ring bearers and 3 flower girls if you want. No one is stopping you.

ETA: I forgot, you could have the older ones as bridesmaids and groomsmen. That's what the Duchess of Cambridge did.

afox007 · January 2014

6 year old boy as a groomsman, the two four year old boys can each be a ring bearer since there are two rings, 5 year old girl as the flower girl, and a wagon of 1-3 year olds all wearing helmets to coordinate with your wedding colors so them falling out won't take any attention away.

Jen4948 · January 2014

afox007 said:

6 year old boy as a groomsman, the two four year old boys can each be a ring bearer since there are two rings, 5 year old girl as the flower girl, and a wagon of 1-3 year olds all wearing helmets to coordinate with your wedding colors so them falling out won't take any attention away.

No wagon. If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on their own because of their age and size, they don't belong in the wedding party.

afox007 · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

afox007 said:

6 year old boy as a groomsman, the two four year old boys can each be a ring bearer since there are two rings, 5 year old girl as the flower girl, and a wagon of 1-3 year olds all wearing helmets to coordinate with your wedding colors so them falling out won't take any attention away.

No wagon. If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on their own because of their age and size, they don't belong in the wedding party.

Lol I should invent a sarcasm font I'd make millions

@jen4948 I totally agree that a wagon is an awful idea, but since she wanted validation and I was in a snarky mood I decided to appease her and offer up the idea of helmets for when someone inevitably falls out. We wouldn't want something like stitches taking the focus off the bride would we?

Jen4948 · January 2014

afox007 said:

afox007 said:

6 year old boy as a groomsman, the two four year old boys can each be a ring bearer since there are two rings, 5 year old girl as the flower girl, and a wagon of 1-3 year olds all wearing helmets to coordinate with your wedding colors so them falling out won't take any attention away.

No wagon. If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on their own because of their age and size, they don't belong in the wedding party.
Lol I should invent a sarcasm font I'd make millions @jen4948 I totally agree that a wagon is an awful idea, but since she wanted validation and I was in a snarky mood I decided to appease her and offer up the idea of helmets for when someone inevitably falls out. We wouldn't want something like stitches taking the focus off the bride would we?

No, certainly not!!!

LD1970 · January 2014

Infants in a wagon is a stellar idea! For a person who couldn't care less about the safety of her nephews & nieces, maybe. Caring more about photos than the possibility that you might be the cause of injury to your infant family members says worlds about your character, none of it good.

I dunno, maybe I'm weird. I have nephews I actually love.

Jen4948 · January 2014

LD1970 said:

Infants in a wagon is a stellar idea! For a person who couldn't care less about the safety of her nephews & nieces, maybe. Caring more about photos than the possibility that you might be the cause of injury to your infant family members says worlds about your character, none of it good.

I dunno, maybe I'm weird. I have nephews I actually love.

If you're weird, that makes two of us. I have nieces and nephews and cousins I actually love, and I'd never for a minute give having cute photos priority over the safety of the people I love.

jneen101 · January 2014

shelnjosh2014 said:

Please refer to my above posts about not wanting to hear your opinions about wether or not the little ones should be in the wedding. It is our desire for them to be in it . My little sister is 11 years old that will be pulling the wagon , the kids are almost two , they will be perfectly fine in a wagon that they are pulled in all the time . They're tough , they'll be okay . The kids will be okay , I'm sorry y'all are so uptight that your ceremony has to be perfect , it's about the memories & those around you supporting your decision . I'd love if this post actually had some supporting comments & solution rather than critics who have nothing better to do than point out what people are doing wrong & give your unsolicited opinion .

You could make it more like a parade then, and have some on bikes and some in wagons and some on scooters?

ranzzo · January 2014

I do think the OP is being rude here. Though, I have to admit, one of my nieces, she was 6 months at the time, was pulled in a wagon down the isle by her 10 year old cousin. However, my SIL followed immediately behind the wagon and we made sure it wasn't against the venue's rules. It was also a wagon that included a safety belt. So, as long as rules are followed and precautions are taken, I don't see an issue with using a wagon.

Jen4948 · January 2014

ranzzo said:

I do think the OP is being rude here. Though, I have to admit, one of my nieces, she was 6 months at the time, was pulled in a wagon down the isle by her 10 year old cousin. However, my SIL followed immediately behind the wagon and we made sure it wasn't against the venue's rules. It was also a wagon that included a safety belt. So, as long as rules are followed and precautions are taken, I don't see an issue with using a wagon.

It's overdoing things for the purpose of being "cute."

Weddings are not nursery school outings on the playground. If you have to take that much trouble to involve a small kid, especially one who can't really participate without this, that kid is just too young to participate. Infants and toddlers don't have the life experience to understand what they're being asked to do. Plus, it is still possible to have them just as "guests" and take photos with them. They don't need another "role" to make them "included."

cookie0803 · January 2014

Our niece (2) and nephew (6 months at the time) were our flower girl and "ring bearer." Our nephew was carried in by his dad, who was the best man, then handed off to his mom, who was in the first row. Our niece decided she wanted to walk down the aisle with DH, who was escorted by his parents. She sang during the entire ceremony, which was adorable. My point being, it is possible to have kids under 3 in your ceremony, but don't expect them to follow any sort of plan or for it to make any actual sense. Also, I can't imagine having more than 2 little ones in the ceremony. It would have been bananas.

ranzzo · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

ranzzo said:

I do think the OP is being rude here. Though, I have to admit, one of my nieces, she was 6 months at the time, was pulled in a wagon down the isle by her 10 year old cousin. However, my SIL followed immediately behind the wagon and we made sure it wasn't against the venue's rules. It was also a wagon that included a safety belt. So, as long as rules are followed and precautions are taken, I don't see an issue with using a wagon.

It's overdoing things for the purpose of being "cute."

Weddings are not nursery school outings on the playground. If you have to take that much trouble to involve a small kid, especially one who can't really participate without this, that kid is just too young to participate. Infants and toddlers don't have the life experience to understand what they're being asked to do. Plus, it is still possible to have them just as "guests" and take photos with them. They don't need another "role" to make them "included."

You're opinion is exactly that, your opinion. I'm just saying, the wagon worked at my wedding. We were cautious and my niece giggled and laughed the entire time. I get what you are saying to the OP, but respectfully, you are coming off a little snotty about this. To each their own I guess, it was wonderful to share the experience with those in my bridal party, including the kids.

JennyColada · January 2014

I guess I'm confused about what roles your other 150 or so guests will all have.

Or do you not love them all enough to include them?

AddieCake · January 2014

Jennycolada said:

I guess I'm confused about what roles your other 150 or so guests will all have. Or do you not love them all enough to include them?

This, This, This. So many brides always wants to "include everyone", and they forget that not everyone can, is, or should be included.

Jen4948 · January 2014

ranzzo said:

Jen4948 said:

ranzzo said:

I do think the OP is being rude here. Though, I have to admit, one of my nieces, she was 6 months at the time, was pulled in a wagon down the isle by her 10 year old cousin. However, my SIL followed immediately behind the wagon and we made sure it wasn't against the venue's rules. It was also a wagon that included a safety belt. So, as long as rules are followed and precautions are taken, I don't see an issue with using a wagon.

It's overdoing things for the purpose of being "cute."

Weddings are not nursery school outings on the playground. If you have to take that much trouble to involve a small kid, especially one who can't really participate without this, that kid is just too young to participate. Infants and toddlers don't have the life experience to understand what they're being asked to do. Plus, it is still possible to have them just as "guests" and take photos with them. They don't need another "role" to make them "included."

You're opinion is exactly that, your opinion. I'm just saying, the wagon worked at my wedding. We were cautious and my niece giggled and laughed the entire time. I get what you are saying to the OP, but respectfully, you are coming off a little snotty about this. To each their own I guess, it was wonderful to share the experience with those in my bridal party, including the kids.

And your opinion is exactly that, your opinion. If you think mine doesn't constitute good etiquette or planning, neither does yours. And I'm sorry, but if you read the entire thread, not to mention lurked on this forum before posting, you would have noticed that I'm not the only one opposed to using toddlers or wagons in a bridal party for the "cuteness" or "inclusiveness" of it.

You are in no position to call anyone else "snotty," and in any case, name-calling does not score you any points.

grumbledore · January 2014

shelnjosh2014 said:

Please refer to my above posts about not wanting to hear your opinions about wether or not the little ones should be in the wedding. It is our desire for them to be in it . My little sister is 11 years old that will be pulling the wagon , the kids are almost two , they will be perfectly fine in a wagon that they are pulled in all the time . They're tough , they'll be okay . The kids will be okay , I'm sorry y'all are so uptight that your ceremony has to be perfect , it's about the memories & those around you supporting your decision . I'd love if this post actually had some supporting comments & solution rather than critics who have nothing better to do than point out what people are doing wrong & give your unsolicited opinion .

So... what exactly is it you want from us? You asked for opinions - the prevailing opinion is that including a large number of children doesn't make sense, and that the very young children present additional issues.

If you are going to do it anyway, then go do it and stop asking for opinions in the internet.

smh

grumbledore · January 2014

Jen4948 said:

afox007 said:

6 year old boy as a groomsman, the two four year old boys can each be a ring bearer since there are two rings, 5 year old girl as the flower girl, and a wagon of 1-3 year olds all wearing helmets to coordinate with your wedding colors so them falling out won't take any attention away.

No wagon. If a kid can't get up and down the aisle on their own because of their age and size, they don't belong in the wedding party.

lol it was clearly a joke

grumbledore · January 2014

AddieL73 said:

Jennycolada said:

I guess I'm confused about what roles your other 150 or so guests will all have. Or do you not love them all enough to include them?

This, This, This. So many brides always wants to "include everyone", and they forget that not everyone can, is, or should be included.

A million times this. Also, keep in mind, not everyone is dying to "be included" in your wedding. I had to buy an expensive dress for my daughter to be a flower girl in a close friend's wedding a few years ago - I'd rather have gone alone and had fun. Instead I spent a ton of money on her uniform and had to wrangle her for an entire day and night. I ended up leaving very shortly after dinner because it wasn't even an appropriate atmosphere at that point for a 5 year old. (I said yes because I love her and wanted to make her happy, not because I wanted to do it.) My daughter was 100% a prop in that wedding - it's not as if they are close.

vt&dt · January 2014

SO agreed. That many kids is too many.

Even if they're not involved in the ceremony - you can still have them in pictures! Ask them and their parents to come early or stay after the ceremony so you can be sure to get great pictures with them.

I have a nephew who will be about 9 months old at the wedding, and though I wish his parents had him a year and a half earlier so he could be a ring bearer (mostly joking) - he's too young. So they're going to come early for the ceremony, hang out with all of us, and we'll get some awesome pictures of us with baby nephew.

I think his parents have already found him a suit to wear, anyway.

JennyColada · January 2014

This topic just made me remember how I went to my uncle's wedding when I was 3 or 4. I sat with my parents it was fun. I didn't even REALIZE that it might have dawned on someone to include me and did not feel angry or jealous that other kids were involved (honestly, I figured that my "role" was to sit with my parents and be a guest).

grumbledore · January 2014

This has to be the boringest DD in history. "Wah, the mean girls said babies falling out of wagons wouldn't be cute!"

singinchick13 · January 2014

I think this is the answer she is looking for....

OP, they would feel extremely important and included if you paired up all of your bridesmaids and groomsmen as couples and had them each walk down the aisle as 'couples' pushing the little ones in one of those old school british style prams. This will make your wedding unique and different and just when all of your guests are scratching their heads trying to figure out WTF is going on, as soon as you have said your vows you can announce that the two of you are expecting!!!! Why else would you want to include so many children that it overtakes the entire ceremony?! What a great theme for a wedding...babies!!! *sarcasm implied*

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