First off, I am NOT having a cash or partial cash bar, all beverages will be fully hosted by me!
Originally I was going to do wine and beer only. If we do a lunch wedding at Disneyland, they have a per person bar package, but if we do it local the venue's here seem to all do consumption based. There are several reasons for doing wine and beer only. The last bride in our family who did a full open bar ended up with an 8k bar bill at the then end of the night. The restaurant she had it at let guests choose bottles of wine from the wine cellar , apparently with no restrictions, so uncles of mine were taking 100+ dollar bottles of wine and bottles of expensive whiskey back to the tables to share. Also my family is not really that great at etiquette (cash bars abound at family functions), and I heard my cousins have conversations like this , Cousin 1:"I forgot where I put my drink, anyone see it?" Cousin 2: Oh don't worry all drinks are free, just get another!". At the end of the night I counted at least 30 drinks laying around the venue that didn't look like much was drunk out of them.
Since I haven't budgeted 8k for drinks, I was going to do beer, wine and soft drinks only. However, after reviewing the prices for the venue, mixed drinks are only 2$ more than a glass of wine, and using the calculators provided I think I could actually swing mixed drinks (I won't be offering the wine cellar or full bottles to our guests, everything will be by the glass). I realize it won't solve the problem of people losing theirs and getting another, but I can budget for that.
My main concern, and also a concern of my mother's, is that I have 4 cousins who like to really get plastered at all family gatherings where there is liquor, especially if other people are providing the booze. Can I ask the bartender to cut people off if they are overly drunk, or is this a breach of etiquette? I know these same cousins don't drink wine and if they are only drinking beer it might slow them down a bit. However, if the liquor is there, they WILL get plastered and start taking off clothes (no joke, we had a wedding for another cousin last year. It had a cash bar, but that didn't stop these girls from getting drunk enough to dance on tables in their bra tops.). I like my cousins and when they aren't drunk they are great to hang out with, but I am not sure how fiance's family will respond to the impromptu strip show.
I guess this is a more of WWYD? Is it okay to have the bartender cut people off? I hesitate to ask a relative to baby sit them as I want my guests to enjoy themselves and not have duties. I would tell them to knock it off myself (they may listen) except I'm afraid that would take away from my other hosting duties. The venue won't serve shots so maybe that would slow them down?
Maybe I should just have a dry wedding, LOL. What are your opinions?