Is an hour gap too long?

mrs4everhart · February 2014

Our ceremony starts at 5:00. Call it 5:30 by the time it ends just for argument's sake. We do not want our cocktail hour to start until 6:30 (A) because we want to actually BE at our cocktail hour and (B) we're having a pretty small DW and want everyone who comes in some of our pictures (that we'll be taking directly after the ceremony). It's being held at a resort that we can assume our guests will also be staying at so it's not like if they decline pictures there's not anything for them to do. Is an hour gap too long?

QueerFemme · February 2014

Yes

misshart00 · February 2014

Yes. The whole point of a cocktail hour is for you to take pictures. You could take pictures before or shorten picture time and be at the end of cocktail hour.

manateehugger · February 2014

Depends upon if everyone knows the truth about your wedding...

MNVegas · February 2014

What do you expect your guests to do during the hour they are waiting for you? Just sit around and wait. I would say that is a bit inconsiderate on your part.

KittyKaty20 · February 2014

If it's a DW, then your guests shouldn't have to entertain themselves. You also didn't indicate if your ceremony and reception are at the same, or different, location(s). That being said:

If your ceremony ends at 5:30, and you want ALL your guests in pictures, then that's part of the "entertainment"/wedding festivities. Do your guest pictures first, so they don't have to wait around while your BP is getting pics. Let's say that takes about 1/2 hour...then guests have 1/2 hour to get to the reception/cocktail hour.

You SHOULD NOT make your guests wait for you to arrive before cocktail hour, IMO. Extend your cocktail service to 1 1/2 hours so you and DH can enjoy the time together.

chibiyui · February 2014

Cocktail hour is for the guests to have something to do while the B&G do pictures. Shorten your pictures and move cocktail hour up or still move cocktail hour up and lengthen it so you can take your original amount of pivtures.

lyndausvi · February 2014

yes. It's bad enough you are lying by omission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

ETA for being stupid.

mrs4everhart · February 2014

KittyKaty20 said:

If it's a DW, then your guests shouldn't have to entertain themselves. You also didn't indicate if your ceremony and reception are at the same, or different, location(s). That being said:
If your ceremony ends at 5:30, and you want ALL your guests in pictures, then that's part of the "entertainment"/wedding festivities. Do your guest pictures first, so they don't have to wait around while your BP is getting pics. Let's say that takes about 1/2 hour...then guests have 1/2 hour to get to the reception/cocktail hour.
You SHOULD NOT make your guests wait for you to arrive before cocktail hour, IMO. Extend your cocktail service to 1 1/2 hours so you and DH can enjoy the time together.

Yes, same venue, a matter a yards between the two. I think I've been leaning towards the half hour idea myself. We do want everyone in pictures after the ceremony but I think a half hour should be plenty. We can't extend it past an hour but we can miss the first half while he and I finish up pics.

mrs4everhart · February 2014

lyndausvi said:

yes. It's bad enough you are lying by admission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

I think you meant "omission" and we weren't letting them fend for themselves, we were asking them to join us for our pics.

banana468 · February 2014

lyndausvi said:
yes. It's bad enough you are lying by admission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

This. FFS, if you're asking your guests to attend your play, at least host something once the show is over.

doeydo · February 2014

Any gap is too long.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

Any gap is too long.

But a gap at a PPD in which the guests are already being lied to and misled is merely another sin of tackiness in a litany of tackiness. If the Big are going to be tacky about their ceremony itself, it stands to reason that they'll be tacky about everything else.

WildMagelet · February 2014

I feel like the PPD discussion has already been beaten to death so I'm not even going to address it, that's not what this thread is about anyways.

Take what photos you can beforehand.

Have your guests join you immediately for your photos with them after the ceremony, then send them on to cocktail hour.

Finish taking the rest of your photos without your guests while they're at cocktail hour.

When you're finished taking photos go enjoy whatever is left of cocktail hour with your guests.

lyndausvi · February 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

lyndausvi said:

yes. It's bad enough you are lying by admission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

I think you meant "omission" and we weren't letting them fend for themselves, we were asking them to join us for our pics.

You are correct. Thank you.

No one wants to hang around and watch pictures being done. They just don't. At my own weddings I arranged for cocktails to be brought to us and our WP. We did the WP first and then sent them on their way.

AddieCake · February 2014

scribe95 said:

To me it's ridiculous that you are actually wondering if an hour long gap is rude considering you are having people travel and spend thousands of dollars for a wedding that isn't even real. Now that is rude.

Indeed.

Jen4948 · February 2014

Yes. Any gap is too long.

The reception should start immediately after the ceremony, with the cocktail hour going on while you take the pictures. The idea that your guests should just "find something else to do" while you take pictures really is inconsiderate of their needs.

wrigleyville · February 2014

I'm seriously laughing right now. You care about whether or not a gap is too long, but you don't care about lying to your guests when they're paying thousands to travel to this fake wedding? Seriously?

mrs4everhart · February 2014

lyndausvi said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

lyndausvi said:

yes. It's bad enough you are lying by admission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

I think you meant "omission" and we weren't letting them fend for themselves, we were asking them to join us for our pics.

You are correct. Thank you.

No one wants to hang around and watch pictures being done. They just don't. At my own weddings I arranged for cocktails to be brought to us and our WP. We did the WP first and then sent them on their way. I never meant that we want them to come watch us get pictures taken, you're right, no one would want to do that. I meant we want them in the pics.

mrs4everhart · February 2014

flutterbride2b said:

I feel like the PPD discussion has already been beaten to death so I'm not even going to address it, that's not what this thread is about anyways. Agreed.

Take what photos you can beforehand.

Have your guests join you immediately for your photos with them after the ceremony, then send them on to cocktail hour. I think that's exactly what we'll be doing. I think switching it up by a half hour, not an entire hour, will be the perfect amount of time to make it all work.

Finish taking the rest of your photos without your guests while they're at cocktail hour.

When you're finished taking photos go enjoy whatever is left of cocktail hour with your guests.

lyndausvi · February 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

lyndausvi said:

STBMrsEverhart said:

lyndausvi said:

yes. It's bad enough you are lying by admission. Do not let them fend for themselves while you take pictures.

You can always take pictures before the wedding and cut the after-the-ceremony pictures time down.

I think you meant "omission" and we weren't letting them fend for themselves, we were asking them to join us for our pics.

You are correct. Thank you.

No one wants to hang around and watch pictures being done. They just don't. At my own weddings I arranged for cocktails to be brought to us and our WP. We did the WP first and then sent them on their way. I never meant that we want them to come watch us get pictures taken, you're right, no one would want to do that. I meant we want them in the pics.

I get that but they are not going to be in an hour's worth of pictures. I bet they won't be in more than 5 minutes worth.

jneen101 · February 2014

I don't think anyone wants to be in pictures for an hour either though. Is everyone going to be in every picture? What are they doing when they aren't in a picture, just standing around waiting for their turn? that wouldn't be so bad if there was food and drink during that time, I guess, but if there isn't, then what is everyone doing?

mrs4everhart · February 2014

wrigleyville said:

I'm seriously laughing right now. You care about whether or not a gap is too long, but you don't care about lying to your guests when they're paying thousands to travel to this fake wedding? Seriously?

Dead serious. Otherwise, I'd just say FTW and go cash bar and have one of those parties where everyone pays admission to later help fund the wedding. Hmm, I guess if the implication you and others are making here is to throw the baby out with the bathwater, this is a serious game changer. Now I guess I'll have to find out the name of those parties and throw one in my honor, of course.

lyndausvi · February 2014

STBMrsEverhart said:

flutterbride2b said:

I feel like the PPD discussion has already been beaten to death so I'm not even going to address it, that's not what this thread is about anyways. Agreed.

Take what photos you can beforehand.

Have your guests join you immediately for your photos with them after the ceremony, then send them on to cocktail hour. I think that's exactly what we'll be doing. I think switching it up by a half hour, not an entire hour, will be the perfect amount of time to make it all work.

Finish taking the rest of your photos without your guests while they're at cocktail hour.

When you're finished taking photos go enjoy whatever is left of cocktail hour with your guests.

this sounds like a good plan

LDay2014 · February 2014

I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.

We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?

mrs4everhart · February 2014

jneen101 said:

I don't think anyone wants to be in pictures for an hour either though. Is everyone going to be in every picture? What are they doing when they aren't in a picture, just standing around waiting for their turn? that wouldn't be so bad if there was food and drink during that time, I guess, but if there isn't, then what is everyone doing?

No, I don't think it's necessary that everyone is in every picture. I just remember my first wedding and it seemed like the family pics took a while. I was really hot and wanted out of the church something fierce so maybe I remember it differently than it really was. This time around I can easily see our peeps cocktailing on the beach during the group pics, in whatever combo they end up, and mingling in between. But as I've said, I can see that probably only taking as long as a half hour so adjusting the cocktail hour to 6:00 should probably work out perfectly.

MyNameIsNot · February 2014

LDay2014 said:

I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.
We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?

None of the second paragraph excuses a gap. It's not acceptable to leave your guests waiting for you to get around to hosting them.

Suggestion: Move the ceremony or move the reception and close the gap.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

LDay2014 said:
I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.
We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?

Move your ceremony time up and do your photos beforehand.

What do you mean 'our photo place'? Are you going somewhere to stage photos inbetween? Then host a damn cocktail hour.

I don't care if you're being rude to 24 gusts or 240 guests, you're still being rude.

If you absolutely feel it necessary to have photos in some place that's 20 minutes away from your reception and ceremony sites, do those photos beforehand OR host a cocktail hour.

doeydo · February 2014

LDay2014 said:

I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.
We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?

When choosing our venue one of our priorities was to have a nice outdoor space where pictures could be taken so that we don't leave our guests waiting. Sorry, but what you are doing is inconsiderate of your guests even if they are local.

lyndausvi · February 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.
We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?
Move your ceremony time up and do your photos beforehand. What do you mean 'our photo place'? Are you going somewhere to stage photos inbetween? Then host a damn cocktail hour. I don't care if you're being rude to 24 gusts or 240 guests, you're still being rude. If you absolutely feel it necessary to have photos in some place that's 20 minutes away from your reception and ceremony sites, do those photos beforehand OR host a cocktail hour.

I would actually skip the ceremony, that is how much I despise gaps (other than your standard travel time).

On another note I think it's funny you are traveling 20 minutes away. You know that 20 minutes will be more like 30. Which is an hour you are to back track to the reception area. Leaving you 30 minutes to take pictures. That must be one hell of a location.

I was in a wedding where they just took the WP before the ceremony around Philly to take pictures. It took about 1-1.5. Glad they did that then after the ceremony.

AddieCake · February 2014

LDay2014 said:

I will freely admit that I am breaking etiquette on this one.
We will be having the reception ceremony at 3pm, Reception at 5:00. 1.5hr gap

That being said, everyone lives close, and it's 20 minute drive to the reception anyway. It's also a whopping 24 guest wedding and I KNOW it's against etiquette but our photo place is 20 mins away too.

It's not ideal, but it's something I'm comfortable doing...unless you ladies have any other suggestions?

So people are supposed to go home or find someplace to twiddle their thumbs for an hour and a half? You should be hosting a cocktail hour during that time for them, not expecting them to find a way to amuse themselves.

Is an hour gap too long?

Re: Is an hour gap too long?

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