Flower Alternatives

skyhigh27 · February 2014

I have a strong dislike of flowers. They're expensive and they die - I plan to use as few as possible. Our reception is inside of a barrel room and we're asking our guests to dress in semi-formal attire. I thought of manzanita branches, FMIL suggested artichokes and other in-season produce (family is in the agriculture business, can get vegetables for free and can double as wedding favors), which got me thinking about other creative ideas. What are some of the other creatives ideas you've had or come across for decorations and centerpiece that weren't flowers?

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Lots of brides over on the DIY board have creative ways of not using flowers. I've seen plenty of candles and lanterns over there, vases with filler, etc. I like the idea of in-season produce, ex. pumpkins for a fall wedding. A simple bowl of citrus fruits is a favorite centerpiece for my dining room table most of the time: citrus lasts a long time, has a faint but nice smell, and looks sort of modern and cool. You can do book centerpieces, or fold flowers out of book pages. Or you could do small, low planted succulents. They would not die because they are planted, and guests could take them home as favors.

AddieCake · February 2014

I used manzanita branches with a few flowers on them.

There are lots of non-floral options. Google it and you'll find all kinds of ideas.

Fran1985 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

I have a strong dislike of flowers. They're expensive and they die - I plan to use as few as possible. Our reception is inside of a barrel room and we're asking our guests to dress in semi-formal attire. I thought of manzanita branches, FMIL suggested artichokes and other in-season produce (family is in the agriculture business, can get vegetables for free and can double as wedding favors), which got me thinking about other creative ideas. What are some of the other creatives ideas you've had or come across for decorations and centerpiece that weren't flowers?

I think succulents always look great at weddings. Can I ask you to reconsider asking your guests to dress in semi-formal attire though? Its against etiquette and usually just becomes more confusing for guests.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

I have a strong dislike of flowers. They're expensive and they die - I plan to use as few as possible. Our reception is inside of a barrel room and we're asking our guests to dress in semi-formal attire. I thought of manzanita branches, FMIL suggested artichokes and other in-season produce (family is in the agriculture business, can get vegetables for free and can double as wedding favors), which got me thinking about other creative ideas. What are some of the other creatives ideas you've had or come across for decorations and centerpiece that weren't flowers?

Please don't tell people what to wear. It's rude. Your guests are adults and will be able to dress themselves appropriately based on the invitation style, the venue location, etc. Anyone who doesn't probably would've ignored any written request anyway.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

Fran1985 said:

I think succulents always look great at weddings. Can I ask you to reconsider asking your guests to dress in semi-formal attire though? Its against etiquette and usually just becomes more confusing for guests.

I also like the look of succulents, however our venue has a rule against live potted plants.

I appreciate the lesson in wedding etiquette, however we chose to do things a little differently; we asked our guests what they wanted. They chose the start time of our ceremony, between three type of venues and what they wanted to wear while at our engagement party. We are simply requesting certain type of attire from the 18 people who were unable to join us at our party. We're not requiring anything, and it is even noted on our website.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

Fran1985 said:

I think succulents always look great at weddings. Can I ask you to reconsider asking your guests to dress in semi-formal attire though? Its against etiquette and usually just becomes more confusing for guests.

I also like the look of succulents, however our venue has a rule against live potted plants.

I appreciate the lesson in wedding etiquette, however we chose to do things a little differently; we asked our guests what they wanted. They chose the start time of our ceremony, between three type of venues and what they wanted to wear while at our engagement party. We are simply requesting certain type of attire from the 18 people who were unable to join us at our party. We're not requiring anything, and it is even noted on our website.

It's inappropriate even to make the request.

Clothing issues aside, you could use false flowers.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

Every single event and wedding coordinator I worked with throughout college with urged their couples to include a suggested dress code either on an invitation or website, it minimizes confusion for guests as to what others are wearing. It might be against "the rules" but I am following what successful coordinators, who I respect, recommend doing in order to make the entire process easier on everyone. If our guests don't find it inappropriate, neither should anyone else.

doeydo · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

Every single event and wedding coordinator I worked with throughout college with urged their couples to include a suggested dress code either on an invitation or website, it minimizes confusion for guests as to what others are wearing. It might be against "the rules" but I am following what successful coordinators, who I respect, recommend doing in order to make the entire process easier on everyone. If our guests don't find it inappropriate, neither should anyone else.

Your event and wedding coordinator(s) are wrong. Guests get a feel for how formal the wedding is going to be based on the type of invitations used, what the venue is like, and the time of day. It is extremely rude to mention anything about guest attire unless the venue has a policy (ie. a country club that requires men in a jacket and tie).

skyhigh27 · February 2014

I suppose that's why they plan other people's weddings for a living, they're paid to provide their incorrect advice. I'm okay with being in the minority on this subject, it works with our guests and that's all that matters.

Gina0887 · February 2014

I personally don't mind being told a dress request. If you said "no flip flops or shorts" it could be offensive, but "casual" is giving a heads up... Especially in Tennessee there are so many country weddings that it could go in the complete wrong direction regardless of the cute invitation looking formal.

doeydo · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

I suppose that's why they plan other people's weddings for a living, they're paid to provide their incorrect advice. I'm okay with being in the minority on this subject, it works with our guests and that's all that matters.

Or, they're paid by crazy bridezillas that don't give a shit if they are rude and offensive because it's their day and they're so special.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

doeydo said:

skyhigh27 said:

I suppose that's why they plan other people's weddings for a living, they're paid to provide their incorrect advice. I'm okay with being in the minority on this subject, it works with our guests and that's all that matters.

Or, they're paid by crazy bridezillas that don't give a shit if they are rude and offensive because it's their day and they're so special.

Ha! This! Wedding coordinators are more likely to tell brides what they want to hear.....without a happy bride, there would be no coordinator.

FYI, once you make a "request" of your guests, they will feel obligated. So it pretty much becomes a requirement. By "requesting" certain attire, you are implying that your guests are too stupid to figure out what is appropriate to wear. I would be offended.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

You ladies have your opinions and I have mine. I know our guests and what is appropriate and what is not per their weddings and other social gatherings.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

You ladies have your opinions and I have mine. I know our guests and what is appropriate and what is not per their weddings and other social gatherings.

So why did you ask for our opinions here? The bolded is not going to score you any points in an Internet forum, especially when you actually asked for our opinions with your opening post. Asking for opinions and then putting them down with "You ladies have your opinions and I have mine" is counterproductive and childish.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

I asked opinions about flower alternatives, not about whether it was appropriate that our guests chose a dress code.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

Gah-- why is it everyone who is breaking etiquette says it's an "opinion?" And when you post on a public board, you'll get opinions on everything in your post. If you didn't want opinions about the attire request, don't include it. I can't believe I missed it the first time. But at least you got opinions from me and a few others on exactly what you asked for.

Look, I wouldn't be too worked up if I saw a semi-formal dress code on the invitation. I would think the B&G are tacky as hell, but it wouldn't be any skin off my nose.

Fact is, this is against etiquette. Lots of wedding professionals advocate things that are etiquette faux pas because they want to make brides feel special.

By the way, thanks for saying thanks for all the great advice on the flower alternatives you received, instead of harping on the fact posters are trying to stop you offending your guests. You're welcome.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

I asked opinions about flower alternatives, not about whether it was appropriate that our guests chose a dress code.

You are not entitled to control the thread or how people respond. Grow up and get over it, and lose the "I didn't ask" business. It makes you look immature and ignorant not only of this forum and the Internet but of social interactions in general. People are going to comment on whatever you put out there, whether you asked about it or not.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

I do appreciate the advice and suggestions in regards to the non-flower stuff. However I don't appreciate being told that I'm rude or tacky when our invitees were the ones who decided they wanted to dress a certain way. If people want to show up in pajamas, cool, I wish I could. Every social circle is different, I happen to know that with our parents friends' dress codes for weddings, birthdays, holiday gatherings, ect, they expect a dress code, which is why they decided. If our friends made up the majority of our guest list it would be a completely different story.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

I do appreciate the advice and suggestions in regards to the non-flower stuff. However I don't appreciate being told that I'm rude or tacky when our invitees were the ones who decided they wanted to dress a certain way. If people want to show up in pajamas, cool, I wish I could. Every social circle is different, I happen to know that with our parents friends' dress codes for weddings, birthdays, holiday gatherings, ect, they expect a dress code, which is why they decided. If our friends made up the majority of our guest list it would be a completely different story.

Sorry, but it's their choice to make. The only action that could be taken in that instance is if the venue itself has a dress code that their attire violates-and then it's up to the venue staff to enforce the dress code.

The only options etiquette provides for telling guests in invitations how to dress are the terms "black tie" and "white tie," which can only be used if the wedding is in fact "black tie" or "white tie" respectively. It does not provide any other pre-emptive way of saying "T-shirts, shorts, jeans, etc. are not permitted at the wedding." The reason is that the hosts are required to assume that the guests know how to dress for such an event, and must also suck it up if they are dressed inappropriately.

So this information can't go in invitations or on a website, but you can put out by word of mouth what appropriate attire should be.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

It is their choice, that's my point.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

It is their choice, that's my point.

Unfortunately, your previous posts do not support you making this point.

Rather, you state that you are asking your guests to dress in a certain way. When it was pointed out to you that this request is not appropriate, you got snarky.

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

Why aren't you just asking your guests if they want to see flowers or not, and if so, what kind? Because you've already given up all control of your wedding anyway, so why not just go all the way? FTR, I think that a semi-formal event requires flowers. There are lots of alternatives, but flowers have a more formal feel to them, so that's what my opinion is. You asked for opinions on flowers, so there you go. I'd expect flowers.

Even a suggested dress code on an invitation would make me strongly consider declining. I can dress myself, thank you very much. If you want to micromanage your wedding, elope. Then no one will care if you're being selfish. IF I attended, I would ignore the request. And probably dress as opposite to it as I could while still being appropriate to the occasion.

I would have walked out on the planner and requested my deposit back the instant she suggested a dress code. It's one of the rudest things you can do. But see, the planner doesn't care if you do something rude, because you're going to pay her bill anyway. She'll go along with whatever you want because it's no skin off her nose. She gets her check and happily walks away, while you get to deal with disgruntled guests who feel like they've been treated like a toddler who can't determine how appropriate their clothing is. It's beyond me why those planners are successful. Only thing I can think of is that it's because their clients are just etiquette clueless and don't know any better. Or they're morons. One of the two. And the planners are making bank off of their stupidity.

FTW, I can't wrap my mind around all this entitlement...

JoanE2012 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

Fran1985 said:

I think succulents always look great at weddings. Can I ask you to reconsider asking your guests to dress in semi-formal attire though? Its against etiquette and usually just becomes more confusing for guests.

I also like the look of succulents, however our venue has a rule against live potted plants.

I appreciate the lesson in wedding etiquette, however we chose to do things a little differently; we asked our guests what they wanted. They chose the start time of our ceremony, between three type of venues and what they wanted to wear while at our engagement party. We are simply requesting certain type of attire from the 18 people who were unable to join us at our party. We're not requiring anything, and it is even noted on our website.

Then why don't you ask your guests what they want for decorations and centerpieces? They're planning your wedding, not you.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

Why aren't you just asking your guests if they want to see flowers or not, and if so, what kind? Because you've already given up all control of your wedding anyway, so why not just go all the way? FTR, I think that a semi-formal event requires flowers. There are lots of alternatives, but flowers have a more formal feel to them, so that's what my opinion is. You asked for opinions on flowers, so there you go. I'd expect flowers.

That's what I am afraid of. We've gotten several estimates from vendors using in-season flowers and the estimates have been anywhere from 17k-37k because it's a "high demand" weekend for a magazine event, which is more than I can stomach spending on flowers. So, I am looking for ways to use the minimal amount of flowers to keep the costs down.

BassetHound1232 · February 2014

I hate flowers also. I have never liked them. We are only doing flowers for the bouquets and that is only 4 flowers. The isle were having Mason Jars hung. Then the center piece were filling up a Mason Jar (you could do a vase if jars aren't your thing), putting water marbles in the bottle, filly them full with water and a floating candle. The water marble you can get at Michaels and they have many different colors. Also, they always have at least a 40% off coupon! You can defiantly have a cute wedding with no flowers!!!

FYI My fiance and I are very informal simple people. I put on our website jeans and shirts are just fine. I want people comfortable. They are taking time out of their day to see me. Why not be comfortable.

It definitely will go with our theme, Rustic/Simple. Who made the rules on Wedding Etiquette?? Do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it!

I'm sure your wedding will be fine and plan it how you would like too!

Jen4948 · February 2014

BRIDGETTCABE said:

I hate flowers also. I have never liked them. We are only doing flowers for the bouquets and that is only 4 flowers. The isle were having Mason Jars hung. Then the center piece were filling up a Mason Jar (you could do a vase if jars aren't your thing), putting water marbles in the bottle, filly them full with water and a floating candle. The water marble you can get at Michaels and they have many different colors. Also, they always have at least a 40% off coupon! You can defiantly have a cute wedding with no flowers!!!
FYI My fiance and I are very informal simple people. I put on our website jeans and shirts are just fine. I want people comfortable. They are taking time out of their day to see me. Why not be comfortable. It definitely will go with our theme, Rustic/Simple. Who made the rules on Wedding Etiquette?? Do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it! I'm sure your wedding will be fine and plan it how you would like too!

There have never been any etiquette rules regarding flowers at weddings.

That said, "do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it!" with no regard for the needs of others can only apply if you are eloping. As soon as a single other person is involved, their needs must also be taken into consideration-and even given priority at times over "what YOU want."

skyhigh27 · February 2014

BRIDGETTCABE said:

I hate flowers also. I have never liked them. We are only doing flowers for the bouquets and that is only 4 flowers. The isle were having Mason Jars hung. Then the center piece were filling up a Mason Jar (you could do a vase if jars aren't your thing), putting water marbles in the bottle, filly them full with water and a floating candle. The water marble you can get at Michaels and they have many different colors. Also, they always have at least a 40% off coupon! You can defiantly have a cute wedding with no flowers!!!
FYI My fiance and I are very informal simple people. I put on our website jeans and shirts are just fine. I want people comfortable. They are taking time out of their day to see me. Why not be comfortable. It definitely will go with our theme, Rustic/Simple. Who made the rules on Wedding Etiquette?? Do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it! I'm sure your wedding will be fine and plan it how you would like too!

I'm happy to see I'm not the only one who is anti-flowers!! We are putting out lanterns and a few chandeliers outside during our ceremony and cocktail reception and my fiancé had the idea of decorating the fountain with ivy and/or floating candles. It's the inside that I am having issues with... I am almost to the point of just hiring a set designer so I don't have to deal with it. ha! We are definitely a simple couple, but our parents and their friends have certain expectations of what they want.

skyhigh27 · February 2014

Jen4948 said:
There have never been any etiquette rules regarding flowers at weddings.

That said, "do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it!" with no regard for the needs of others can only apply if you are eloping. As soon as a single other person is involved, their needs must also be taken into consideration-and even given priority at times over "what YOU want."

After discussing this with a girlfriend, the question came up of what happens when your guests' are the ones dictating an etiquette no-no? Our wedding has become much more formal than either of us are, however we realized very early on that this wedding isn't necessarily for us but more for our parents/families and their friends, which is fine for various reasons. For example, when my sister got married, she didn't address a dress code and in that circle of people, that was a big no-no.

Jen4948 · February 2014

skyhigh27 said:

Jen4948 said:
There have never been any etiquette rules regarding flowers at weddings.

That said, "do YOUR wedding the way YOU want it!" with no regard for the needs of others can only apply if you are eloping. As soon as a single other person is involved, their needs must also be taken into consideration-and even given priority at times over "what YOU want."

After discussing this with a girlfriend, the question came up of what happens when your guests' are the ones dictating an etiquette no-no? Our wedding has become much more formal than either of us are, however we realized very early on that this wedding isn't necessarily for us but more for our parents/families and their friends, which is fine for various reasons. For example, when my sister got married, she didn't address a dress code and in that circle of people, that was a big no-no.

Well, if your guests are actually demanding something that's against etiquette or accusing you falsely of rudeness when you didn't breach etiquette, this wouldn't apply. But when it comes to matters that actually are within etiquette, you really can't adopt an "it's my/our day" attitude. If what you want inconveniences your guests or violates etiquette, it's something you really should let go of.

thesummersky · February 2014

Have you looked at paper flowers? I'm considering something like this for my wedding. They can be really pretty, inexpensive and can last for a long time if treated well!

https://www.etsy.com/search?q=paper+flower&view_type=gallery&ship_to=US&favorite_listing_id=120887519&show_panel=true&page=2

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