Horrible Dress Shopping Experiance

Danielle3219 · February 2014

I went dress shopping for the first time yesterday. I tried on about 10 different dresses in just about every cut possible. I hated them all. Is it possible that I'm just not meant to wear a dress? I felt hideous in each one and could not wait to get out of them. I don't even want to go back, I now dread having to find a dress. This is such a let down, I always thought dress shopping was supposed to be fun, crying tears of joy, or at least finding a cut that you think you look good in. I found none of that. Has anyone had an experience like this? I don't even want to have a wedding just thinking about what a monster I look like in those things.

msuprincess04 · February 2014

Maybe it was just a bad day. Take a few weeks off and try again at another place. What is your favorite outfit to wear anywhere? Maybe try to find something with a shape like that.

Of course, there are alternatives to wearing a dress. You could wear a great pants outfit if you don't want to be in a dress: http://www.bestbridalprices.com/alfred-angelo-wedding-pants-style-2425-p122199

Maggie0829 · February 2014

I think you are being too harsh on yourself. We are our own worst critics. Did you have people with you? What were their comments/reactions to the dresses?

And 10 dresses really isn't that many. What shapes did you try on? What fabrics? Beading/no beading?

jpence21 · February 2014

That is so sad to hear

I think there is a dress out there for everyone and sometimes it's just hard to find the right style for your body type and whatnot. I know I was in LOVE with the sheath silhouette and I just don't have the body for it, I'm too curvy and sheaths just didn't hang right on me. But it was very discouraging at first when I tried on sheaths and they looked horrible. I ended up going to 2 other dress shops and trying on every other style possible before returning back to the first place and getting a subtle A-line dress that looked great on me. I didn't think it looked good until trying it on the second time.

How far away is your wedding? If you have time, it might be a good idea to just not think about the wedding for a few days, then go back to possibly a different shop, with someone you trust and tell them you want to try one dress in every silhouette, narrow it down to which of those cuts look best then decide if you like lace or beading or both or whatever else "trimming"-wise. You will look beautiful no matter what! Take a breath and remember your fiancé loves you and on that day you will be married and THAT is the most important part!

Good luck dear!

hyechica81 · February 2014

are you plus sized? is that the reason you felt icky in the dresses? i had the same problems.

the first place i went to was strictly bridal samples they did have plus sizes but the ones that were in my bridal size did not even lace up or zip up the back i was upset the lady kept telling me the back can be altered a bit i kept saying these are suposed to fit me they are sample sizes 24s 26s 28s they should fit so i left.

second place had tons of plus size options i had so many dresses to try on. i picked 2 dresses out of all of them one of them had a really unqiue lace tulle and something else bottom but it was a huge ballgown something i did not want. second dress was a lace and taffeta dress with pickups and one shoulder strap with a corset back.

i slept on those 2 dresses went to another salon a week later to try on dresses the plus sizes there were on the smaller sizes 16s 18s some larger sizes but not much everything they put me in the sales lady said it looked good some of the stuff looked hideous ( i think she wanted a sale) i left empty handed and kept thinking about the taffeta dress.

i went back to second salon tried on the taffeta dress and the ballgown and ended up with the taffeta and lace dress.

you will know its the one when you find it can you make an apt at a few other places to try on dresses

also check out the designers websites and see what styles are out there. go and ask the consultant what would look good on your body tell them what you dont like and what you really like and love.

jasmine
morielee
venus
bonny

are some afforable lines with lots of dresses
mori lee venus and bonny have a plus size line and you can see models in larger sizes in the dresses thats if you need plus sizes

it also might help to see real brides who are close to your size and height in some of those dresses to see how they might look on you

a good salon knows what will work with your body and find you that dress of your dreams

jenna8984 · February 2014

Aaaw I'm sad for you!! First of all I'm SURE you did not look like a monster in any of them.

Was there a particular body part that you weren't comfortable with? Some people think their belly looks big, some people think their arms look flabby. I assure you there are flattering cuts out there for everyone and your consultant just did not do her job. She should have been asking you what you don't like about it, what you'd like to change about it, where you'd like it to fit differently. If it was your belly she would know an empire waist is better, if it was your arms she would know a delicate capelet might help. I would look online or ask friends for places near you that have stellar customer service reviews and go there. It might take a while but you'll definitely find something you love. Maybe you could ask what others wore who are the same body type as you?

But don't be so diappointed- there's absolutely something out there that will look amazing on you!

Dignity100 · February 2014

I've been to a few shops and still have not found 'the ONE'. I can honestly say the last shop I went I tried on 7 dresses and did not like ANY of them (had it been my first time out, I probably would have been sad and frustrated like you are currently).

Can you try to help us narrow down what it was you didn't like about the dresses you tried on (please don't say 'everything' as that's not very helpful)? Was it the color(s) of the dresses? Was it the cut(s) of the dresses? What all styles did you try on? Did you go to a local salon or did you go some place more like David's Bridal?

climbingsingle · February 2014

Did you try on all different styles of dresses? Strapless, non-strapless, A-line, fit & flare, lace, satin, etc.?

emmyg65 · February 2014

Keep in mind that you don't need to have a magical moment with tears and all that to find the right dress. At the end of the day, it's just a dress! Take a few weeks off, and if you can, try to let some of your expectations go.

octoberbride9 · February 2014

I'm so sorry it wasn't good:( I went this weekend and didn't love my experience at David's Bridal. The store and consultant were fine, but I was next to a tiny girl who had a higher budget (I'm plus size with a low budget;) and there were WAY too many mirrors and I hated the lighting. I realized later also that the tummy ache I had was menstrual cramps...not a good day to be shopping!.

I am also finding I have to stop looking online/etc because all samples are shown on tiny girls and it messes with my head when I look in the mirror. Take a break, a deep breath, try a different shop & you will find the right gown. You will know it when you find it & you will love it & look great. Hugs!

themuffinman16 · February 2014

I went to try on dresses during that dreadful week of the month. It was actually right before that week, and I was extremely bloated, and put on a good 7 lbs of water weight, I tried on dresses, and I was so uncomfortable in everything. I tried on "the one" and I didn't even know it was the one, at the time. I tried it in a size larger, and I still felt like it was sausage casing. My sister told me she LOVED it. My self-esteem was so terrible, that day, that I just couldn't see what everyone else was seeing. I tried it on a week later and it was stunning. I knew that my self-esteem was the issue and not the dress. If you have a skilled consultant, tell her your problem areas. Mine were my hips, I know that mermaids and sheaths would look terrible on me. I thought A-lines were the way to go, but those looked terrible on me. In the end, I picked a stunning fit and flare, that flared right beneath my thighs. It showed of my curves, but the flare at the thigh took away from the curves at my hips. With a good bridal consultant, you will find a dress that speaks to you, and celebrates your figure. Good luck, it will get better.

hyechica81 · February 2014

@octoberbride9 go to morilee.com click on julietta its the plus size line you can see how they would look also check out bonny.com unforgettable is the plus line and you can see how they look

Danielle3219 · February 2014

Thanks for all the feed back. I'm a size 12 and 5'8... so I don't know that that's considered plus size, I'm no twig, I have curves, I just felt miserable in every one. My tummy, my arms, my shoulders, they all even made me look flat chested! The only one that I didn't hate, because i hated all of them, was a drop waits ball gown... for me the ball gown skirt is just a bit much for my style and it killed the whole look for me, I don't want that much of a skirt. I felt totally uncomfortable in every single one.

I shopped at Davids Bridal Collections store (its a tiny bit more upscale then the regular Davids, but still the same concept) I really liked the consultant, she was super sweet and tried so hard to offer me different options that she thought would work for me. I had a friend with me who tried to assure me that I looked great in at least one of them, but like I said the only one that was kinda ok, I hated the bottom and cannot picture myself wearing anything like it.

My wedding is not until October so I'm just going to take a break for a bit. I would rather go bathing suit shopping then shop for dresses again

Danielle3219 · February 2014

Yes, I tried one of each mentioned above

[Deleted User] · February 2014

I like the idea of taking a break. I think the big thing that may help you going forward is the next time you go shopping, take notes of what things you like or don't like about different styles. Like are you liking lots of bling, or more simple, which necklines (sweetheart vs, straight, vs halter, etc) do you like better on yourself. Try to breakdown each dress on the likes & dislikes & be vocal with your consultant on those items, it will help them narrow down which dress in their inventory hits more of your likes. Good luck, you will find your dress.

Senecaf · February 2014

I'm sure you didn't look terrible in all (any) of them. Did you take pictures? Maybe revisit them after a few days and then take another trip to a different salon.

Blergbot · February 2014

I am a size 12 and am only 5'4", and I can tell you that it probably has more to do with you being uncomfortable with your body than anything else. Or it could be that you were trying on big poofy ballgowns when that really isn't your style (I think we're programed to think that's what a bride is supposed to wear, but they don't fit every body type). Take that break, and then start thinking outside the box. Maybe you don't want to wear a gown at all, maybe just a really pretty dress or pantsuit. White is also not for everyone. Look at @emmyg65 in her awesome hot pink dress! There really are way more options out there than a bridal salon can offer.

JoanE2012 · February 2014

Danielle3219 said:

I went dress shopping for the first time yesterday. I tried on about 10 different dresses in just about every cut possible. I hated them all. Is it possible that I'm just not meant to wear a dress? I felt hideous in each one and could not wait to get out of them. I don't even want to go back, I now dread having to find a dress. This is such a let down, I always thought dress shopping was supposed to be fun, crying tears of joy, or at least finding a cut that you think you look good in. I found none of that. Has anyone had an experience like this? I don't even want to have a wedding just thinking about what a monster I look like in those things.

Don't give up. I tried on about 10 dresses and HATED every one of them too. I was feeling very discouraged and depressed that I wouldn't find anything. Then the 11th dress I put on I loved. It was the silhouette combined with the beading combined with the material combined with an applique at the smallest part of my waist. Any one of those attributes by themselves wasn't doing it in previous dresses, but a combo of all 4 really flattered me.

10 dresses is not really alot either to have tried on. You will find your dress. Patience. But don't give up.

princessleia22 · February 2014

I tried on about 60 dresses before I found the right one. But with each dress I didn't like, I tried to pick out exactly what elements I did or did not like about it. That helped narrow things down and I just had to find one that had all of the elements that I liked.

If you are worried about the dresses making you look flat chested, maybe try ones that have ruching or pleating on the bodice. I found that the ruched bodice was super flattering on me and fell in love with that element immediately. Consultant says that the ruching looks good on pretty much everyone. Or wear a push up bra.

It sounds like you liked the drop waist, so try on other styles that have drop waist. If the ball gown is too poofy, look at a dropped waist A-line. Or, they can remove layers of crinoline from the ball gowns to make them less poofy. My consultants told me that if I wanted to imagine it with less crinoline, to just bunch it up between my legs when trying on the dress and that will show you what it would look like if you remove some of it.

Dress shopping can definitely be exhausting. And your mood that day can make a big difference. I hate clothes shopping and absolutely dreaded dress shopping... and certainly didn't expect it to take 60 dresses to find the right one. I got so frustrated after about 50 dresses, that I took about a month off. But, since I had narrowed down what I was looking for, I was able to look online because I knew what looked good on me and what didn't. And when I got back out there I didn't need to try on every dress because it either had the elements I wanted or not. When I started shopping again, I actually had some stores where I went in, looked through all of their dresses and left without trying any on because I already knew what worked and what didn't. I ended up finding the perfect dress online... it had all of the elements I had decided that I wanted while trying on all those dresses... and then went to the store to try it on and loved it.

I would suggest taking a couple weeks off, but don't avoid it too long. It will just let you build up that dread. Get back out there and hopefully find yourself a good shopping experience. And when you do shop more, make sure to pick out exactly what you like or don't like on each one. Then avoid the bad elements and find a dress that combines all the good ones.

mlg78 · February 2014

Dress shops are going to tell you that you need to wear a slip. This is their way of getting you to drop an extra $50 (or more) for an extra layer of bulky fabric that did nothing but make me sweat and irritate my body. It will help your dress look less full and that seems to be something you're not a fan of. Next time you go in after your break, talk with the consultant about your previous experience and voice your concerns. A good consultant will work with that!

Meggos1988 · February 2014

Try not to get frustrated. It sounds easier said then done. I am a size 16 dress and I had a hard time finding my dress.mi went to DB and tried on about 15 dresses. I could not stand how I looked. My arms were gross my stomach looks horrible and I felt like I look washed out. It was honestly one of the worst experiences of my life... So I thought. I then went to what was supposed to be an amazing store.... I don't think 16 is terribly plus size, and I am not saying being plus size is bad I recently lost a lot of weight. This shop was a huge blow to my ego, they didn't even have one full rack of dresses that I would try on. My step mother convinced me to go to this extremely mom and pop store in the middle of no where, I went just to be nice. I must have tried another 13 dresses but 14 was the one. Something I would never have thought I would pick. I love my dress. It is a soft a-line with a drop waist, my arms look great and it has rouching and beading at the waist, it turly hides all my problem areas. Just relax and try on dresses that you might not think would good. You will surprise yourself. Everyone has that one dress that's meant for them. You might not cry but once you find it you won't stop thinking about it.

themuffinman16 · February 2014

I am curvaceous. I chose a fit and flare. The key is to pick a flare just at your mid-thigh so it comes out away from your hips. Ruching is a good idea as it hides your stomach issues. And you can go with a sweetheart neckline or a modified sweetheart to show off your top. I also think you need to remember that when the dress fits you, you will not look flat-chested. With the right style and some alterations (we are not all the same size for bust, hips, and waist), the dress will look amazing, once it is fitted to you.

hyechica81 · February 2014

take a break for a while but make appointments at other bridal salons maybe what davids bridal collections had was not doing it for you and you need to go to a smaller shop. i took a week off but everyone was pushing me to keep visiting stores so is said i need a week or so to regroup after a week i started the search again and i found my dress.

Dignity100 · February 2014

I know what's helped me a lot is looking at other brides in their dresses. It actually gave me more confidence to try on styles I had originally ruled out.

Danielle3219 · February 2014

Thanks all, it makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not the only one out there who had/is having a tough dress search. Since the wedding is not until October I may just lay low for a month-ish and then go try more boutique type stores.

jenna8984 · February 2014

Danielle3219 said:

Thanks all, it makes me feel a lot better to know I'm not the only one out there who had/is having a tough dress search. Since the wedding is not until October I may just lay low for a month-ish and then go try more boutique type stores.

Be careful not to wait too long....my wedding is mid Sept and they told me when I bought the dress in December that I was "just barely on time". Some you can get off the rack or ordered vey quickly but if you find one like mine it's taking the designer 7 months to make + alteration time. I have heard of some designers taking a year.

Dignity100 · February 2014

My wedding is also in October (I still have to find my dress). Most places are telling me that I don't want to wait too long but I could probably get away with waiting until mid-march (as that's when they should have all the Spring 2014 dresses in). Even if you wait a couple months, there will be places that have dresses you can get off the rack - but you will be limiting your options.

I've been dress shopping alone and with one of my BMs. Honestly I prefer going alone because I don't feel like anybody is pushing me toward anything - but on the flip side, I would love to hear 'hey this looks good on you' but most places allow me to take pictures so I can show my mom.

My advice is when you try on a dress that you do not like - point out the things that you don't like about it... instead of saying 'I don't like it - get it off me' really look at yourself and say (these are some real examples from my shopping experiences):
I don't like the color because it washes me out
I don't like the bodice because it hits my hip in an awkward spot and makes me look short
It's a pretty dress but because all of the 'poof' it makes me look too young or like I'm playing dress up
I don't like the skirt because it is just too plain.

It also helps to point out what you DO like about a dress because it gives the consultant a place to go.

princessleia22 · February 2014

Most places/designers say you should order a dress about 7-8 months before the wedding. Most take 4-6 months to get dress in and you should plan first fitting about 2 months before wedding. David's Bridal is usually a bit quicker. And you can also find samples or other off-the-rack options that you can take home that day, if needed.

Danielle3219 · February 2014

I think I will wait until March to try again. I'm just not ready to put myself through that again. It was a serious self esteem killer and I want to cry just thinking about it.

Danielle3219 · February 2014

On a side note, any ladies in Atlanta area have good dress shops to recommend?

hyechica81 · February 2014

some designers will take anywhere from a month or 2 for the dress to come in if they have it in stock and in your size i know my mori lee took only 2 months to come in

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