Holy Bad Etiquette! (Raising money!!!)

kellirus · February 2014

I just recieved an email from a member of the bridal party letting me know that the jack and jill will be a fundraiser for the bride and groom. "each member of the wedding party will take a stack of tickets and sell them to as many people as they can" these will be used as "admission" to the party......

Has anyone else ever heard of such a thing?!!!

Jen4948 · February 2014

Yes. And as you say, it's bad etiquette. I would tell the bridal party I'm not available for this.

antoto · February 2014

Run. and then hide.

Emmy1493 · February 2014

Yeah, that's a horrible idea.Guests should not have to pay to attend. Call them ASAP and tell them to nix that idea.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

(a) Yes

(b) it's tacky

(c) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, please page a KG (@KnotPorscha) and have your user name changed from something that isn't your name and e-mail address

(d) AOL is still an ISP?

MyNameIsNot · February 2014

Gross. I've heard of this in theory, but not in real life.

If you know the rest of the WP, tell them how horribly rude this is. If you aren't comfortable with that, just say that you aren't comfortable being involved in this and skip it. This couple is going to be mortified when they find out about this.

sarahufl · February 2014

I have never heard of Jack and Jill parties until I came on here. No way I would ever attend one!

photokitty · February 2014

MyNameIsNot said:

Gross. I've heard of this in theory, but not in real life.

If you know the rest of the WP, tell them how horribly rude this is. If you aren't comfortable with that, just say that you aren't comfortable being involved in this and skip it. This couple is going to be mortified when they find out about this.

We can only hope at least!!

I had never heard of a J&J before TK - and am horrified that they are sometimes fundraisers. So tacky & rude!

doeydo · February 2014

Decline the party. Buck and Does are very common around here; the 'guests' buy tickets to get in and/or to purchase each drink to raise money for the wedding.

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

Ick.

MrsMack10612 · February 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

(a) Yes
(b) it's tacky
(c) FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THINGS HOLY, please page a KG (@KnotPorscha) and have your user name changed from something that isn't your name and e-mail address
(d) AOL is still an ISP?

Yes, my dad still uses it.

I had heard of them from a friend of mine who's husband runs with a younger crowd. Apparently it's very popular with them in that particular part of MA, near the NH boarder.

I was mortified. She went to one and partook but because it was friends didn't see the harm in helping.

LDay2014 · February 2014

It happens a LOT where I am, but no way in HELL would I be caught doing it.

Ick.

Proof that just because it's 'regional' doesn't make it right!

crackktheskyy · February 2014

Wait...what? I've never even heard of this. You have to go to a separate event and pay for a ticket to go to the wedding? It's not like it's a movie or a carnival...

I'd pass on the "admit one."

kellirus · February 2014

I am trying to change the sig, thanks for the heads up!

LDay2014 · February 2014

crackktheskyy said:

Wait...what? I've never even heard of this. You have to go to a separate event and pay for a ticket to go to the wedding? It's not like it's a movie or a carnival...

I'd pass on the "admit one."

The people who pay for tickets don't get to go to the wedding...It's just a fundraiser for the main event.

melbelleup · February 2014

LDay2014 said:

crackktheskyy said:

Wait...what? I've never even heard of this. You have to go to a separate event and pay for a ticket to go to the wedding? It's not like it's a movie or a carnival...

I'd pass on the "admit one."

The people who pay for tickets don't get to go to the wedding...It's just a fundraiser for the main event.

LDay said it. It's just a big party, which people pay to attend. There's usually alcohol and a bunch of food. Tickets are usually $5-$20 all you can drink and eat (or until they run out). It isn't limited to people attending the wedding, it's for friends, co-workers, strangers etc. The bride and groom then use the money raised to help fund their wedding. My one friend wanted to have one.... and my FI has been to them. It's kind of a redneckish thing. Or at least, in these cases.

mbross3 · February 2014

Gross. I would stay as far away from this as possible!! Do the bride and groom know? Because I would be horrified to have that kind of party thrown for me!

LDay2014 · February 2014

mbross3 said:

Gross. I would stay as far away from this as possible!! Do the bride and groom know? Because I would be horrified to have that kind of party thrown for me!

Bride and groom usually organize it...

Cover charge, drink tickets, raffle games, often gambling (poker table) where the 'house'/bride and groom get a cut.

It's all gross....

fourtsixand2 · February 2014

I don't even pay cover to get into a bar. I'm not paying to get into your party after I'm already forking over money for all the expenses that are involved in being in a bridal party. Sorry, I won't be available - I'm washing my hair that day.

JeeGooDowster · February 2014

This is definitely not cute!!! GROSS!!!!

mbross3 · February 2014

LDay2014 said:

mbross3 said:

Gross. I would stay as far away from this as possible!! Do the bride and groom know? Because I would be horrified to have that kind of party thrown for me!

Bride and groom usually organize it...
Cover charge, drink tickets, raffle games, often gambling (poker table) where the 'house'/bride and groom get a cut.

It's all gross....

WOW! I read this as someone was throwing a party for them and decided to charge admission, but the B&G throw it themselves? So basically they are trying to raise money to pay for their own wedding?! People are ok with this kind of things? I would be offended if someone invited me to a party then told me I had to pay to get in.

jalyndani · February 2014

So let me get this straight. The bride and groom front the money for food, alcohol, decorations, and entertainment for a massive party that is intended to help them raise money to fund their wedding/reception so that it can be a massive party with food, alcohol, decorations, and entertainment? And the people invited to said "fundraiser" may not actually be invited to the main event?? Da fuq? Why not forgo such a tacky monstrosity and save your money for just the wedding/reception? What an absolutely ridiculous concept. Who comes up with shit like this?

photokitty · February 2014

dang wrong thread

kellirus · February 2014

apparently the wedding party thought it was a great idea,,,and apparently it is a northern thing!

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stag_and_doe

So yeah,,,,

Inkdancer · February 2014

kellirus@aol.com said:

apparently the wedding party thought it was a great idea,,,and apparently it is a northern thing!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stag_and_doe
So yeah,,,,

Be careful with that... saying "it's a northern thing" around here will get you plenty of brides from places like NY and CT saying that they would never indulge in something so rude.

I really hope this BP comes around and decides not to do this.

kellirus · February 2014

Nope, its a go!

Chipmunk415 · February 2014

Jack and Jill = gofundme for weddings...in person.

@jalyndani, go on etiquette hell, there are a ton of stories in the archives about these tackfests.

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

I feel so lucky to never have been asked to participate in something so tacky. I've endured long unhosted gaps, B-Listing, tiered invitations, and a plethora of other etiquette faux pas, but I really draw the line at this Jack & Jill/Stag & Doe crap.

LadyMillil · February 2014

jalyndani said:

So let me get this straight. The bride and groom front the money for food, alcohol, decorations, and entertainment for a massive party that is intended to help them raise money to fund their wedding/reception so that it can be a massive party with food, alcohol, decorations, and entertainment? Yes And the people invited to said "fundraiser" may not actually be invited to the main event?? Yes Da fuq? Why not forgo such a tacky monstrosity and save your money for just the wedding/reception? That's what I always ask, but apparently you can make a lot of money this way. What an absolutely ridiculous concept. Who comes up with shit like this?

These are super popular where I grew up. In fact, the only person I know that didn't have one for their wedding is me. I agree they are super tacky/rude. From what I've heard from friends and family who think I should have a stag and doe, you end up spend $5000-8000 for the food/alcohol/venue/entertainment and can expect to make >$10,000, which gives you a profit of at least $2000.

kellirus · February 2014

The bride and groom know, and are fine with it, but to top it all off this will be the only party for them, no wedding shower, no other parties or get togethers....

photokitty · February 2014

kellirus@aol.com said:

The bride and groom know, and are fine with it, but to top it all off this will be the only party for them, no wedding shower, no other parties or get togethers....

I would find that to be a relief…I mean if I'm being asked to sell raffle tickets and charge admission to their fundraiser at least I don't have to be exposed to several more opportunities for etiquette faux pas! :-p

Holy Bad Etiquette! (Raising money!!!)

Re: Holy Bad Etiquette! (Raising money!!!)

Choose Another Board

Search Boards