Posters have mentioned that this idea is not right for your wedding party, for your wedding guests, etc.
It's also not right for you. You and your new husband need to get married, get a piece of cake, greet your guests, and get going on your honeymoon. You don't leave for a night of wedded sexiness, then get up the next day and see everyone again for another wedding or family event.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about?
If you are going to do this, I would make the ceremony totally private. Parents, siblings, and you and your FI. Then just invite everyone to party the next night. You'll get a ton of regrets as a result, b/c most people come to actually see the wedding, but local guests will probably come and have fun, and maybe some out-of-towners.
As you said, it's way too awkward to be like "thanks for coming, see you tomorrow!"
Posters have mentioned that this idea is not right for your wedding party, for your wedding guests, etc.
It's also not right for you. You and your new husband need to get married, get a piece of cake, greet your guests, and get going on your honeymoon. You don't leave for a night of wedded sexiness, then get up the next day and see everyone again for another wedding or family event.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about?
@VerizonGirl Plenty of people do! My FSIL and FBIL had a post-wedding brunch the next day where everybody hung out and they opened all the gifts that were brought to the wedding.
Posters have mentioned that this idea is not right for your wedding party, for your wedding guests, etc.
It's also not right for you. You and your new husband need to get married, get a piece of cake, greet your guests, and get going on your honeymoon. You don't leave for a night of wedded sexiness, then get up the next day and see everyone again for another wedding or family event.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about?
@VerizonGirl Plenty of people do! My FSIL and FBIL had a post-wedding brunch the next day where everybody hung out and they opened all the gifts that were brought to the wedding.
Many people I know do this. It seems really nice and brunch is awesome!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Even if your ceremony and celebration didn't take place on the same day, you would still be obliged to offer hospitality on the same day as the ceremony to those in attendance, which would be your "reception." So delaying a "reception" doesn't make sense etiquette-wise.
Also, as PPs have pointed out, asking family and friends for an extra day for a celebration when they've already taken one out of their lives for your ceremony isn't doing them any favors or conveniences, to put it kindly.
Posters have mentioned that this idea is not right for your wedding party, for your wedding guests, etc.
It's also not right for you. You and your new husband need to get married, get a piece of cake, greet your guests, and get going on your honeymoon. You don't leave for a night of wedded sexiness, then get up the next day and see everyone again for another wedding or family event.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about?
@VerizonGirl Plenty of people do! My FSIL and FBIL had a post-wedding brunch the next day where everybody hung out and they opened all the gifts that were brought to the wedding.
Many people I know do this. It seems really nice and brunch is awesome!
This has been done in my family, but the "gift opening" wasn't "awesome." There were lots of gifts and it was in fact intensely boring.
Posters have mentioned that this idea is not right for your wedding party, for your wedding guests, etc.
It's also not right for you. You and your new husband need to get married, get a piece of cake, greet your guests, and get going on your honeymoon. You don't leave for a night of wedded sexiness, then get up the next day and see everyone again for another wedding or family event.
Huh? That doesn't even make sense. What are you talking about?
@VerizonGirl Plenty of people do! My FSIL and FBIL had a post-wedding brunch the next day where everybody hung out and they opened all the gifts that were brought to the wedding.
Many people I know do this. It seems really nice and brunch is awesome!
This has been done in my family, but the "gift opening" wasn't "awesome." There were lots of gifts and it was in fact intensely boring.
Eek, I would not want to do this as a bride. I find opening gifts in front of everyone to be tiring - I'd much rather just eat and chat and look at pictures/
I don't think I'd want to sit there and open gifts (clarity: wedding gifts) in front of people. Brunch is tasty though and always welcome. I think the original post questioning VerizonGirl's statement were more saying it's ok to spend time with your family if you had sex with your spouse the night before. Which the post being referred to seems to imply it was not. But I can't speak for those that posted.
I'm hosting a brunch on Sunday morning...mostly because a majority of our guests are from OOT so we wanted to feed them before they had to get on the road/to the airport.
i won't be opening gifts in front of anyone, mostly because i expect that we'll get mostly cards with checks in them. After FSIL's wedding, she had a gift openeing (just her parents, FSIL, FBIL, me, and FI) and was announcing the check amounts and it was super awkward. Also FMIL was writing down what everyone gave so that she would "know what to give their kids when they get married" which always rubs me the wrong way. I will be telling no one what anyone else gives us. it's not their business.
This is one of those things that happens when we turn weddings into "DREAM WEDDING OR BUST."
OP, I totally believe that the ceremony venue is really important to you. And I completely get that there might be no venues in the same immediate area are your ceremony for you to use for your reception (I know: I grew up in a tiny town with two churches and zero reception venues; my temple also had no reception venues nearby). But I think it's time to rethink how your wedding is going to work.
Don't think, "We'll get married in this location on this date. Okay, now let's find reception venues!" Think, "We'd like to get married on this date. Where could we have the ceremony and where could we have the reception?"
This works from a reception standpoint, too; if you find the perfect reception venue, but it means you have to do the ceremony 2 hours away on a different day? It's not going to work.
Like I said, I TOTALLY believe you really want to get married at this ceremony venue. I believe it's important to you. If that's the case, though, either you need to change your reception venue needs and book a reception venue closer to the ceremony (on the same day), or you need to change your ceremony venue.
I don't think I'd want to sit there and open gifts (clarity: wedding gifts) in front of people. Brunch is tasty though and always welcome. I think the original post questioning VerizonGirl's statement were more saying it's ok to spend time with your family if you had sex with your spouse the night before. Which the post being referred to seems to imply it was not. But I can't speak for those that posted.
Yes, I was responding to the bizarre idea that you can't see your friends and family the day after your wedding because you've had - gasp - The Sex.
Is there a proper way you're supposed to go about things when you have the wedding one day and the reception the day after? We are having the ceremony in Glendale, CA, two hours away from where we live, and we don't want to rush back to our town to have the reception. There are no places in Glendale that fit our needs all our family and friends all live in the same town as us so we're having the reception the next day for convenience. I was wondering how you properly end a wedding then if there isn't a reception right after?
Absolutely there is!
Have your ceremony start at 11:30pm on New Year's Eve and your reception IMMEDIATELY following. At the same location.
I greatly appreciate everyone who took the time to reply to my post! I apologize for the late response to everyone but I am a full time student and work full time so I have a very hectic schedule. I really enjoyed reading everyone's feedback. It was very enlightening! My fiance and I will drive 2 hours to go somewhere in a heart beat so I think we forgot to think about those who don't. We consider even a 6 hour drive no big deal. So, in that sense I do see how that is selfish. I think I should see this more as a destination wedding, and I forgot who mentioned it, but the idea to send out two separate invitations is perfect. My fiance's sister just had a destination wedding and her reception was weeks later. It still worked out beautifully so I thought that would be perfect for our situation. We are a very weird couple (I can feel the judgments rolling in lol) and we have our hearts set on the venue in Glendale because it is at Forest Lawn. Sadly, they don't provide a reception area and all the venues in that area require a 250 guest count and we only have 105. The idea of having the ceremony and then having at least some kind of food after is brilliant! I also would not want to sit through all that without being fed. So maybe the two separate invites and then after the ceremony we could invite everyone to a wonderful dinner somewhere or see if we can bring in snacks and drinks.
Just don't try to turn your celebration a few days later into a wanna-be wedding reception. Have a great party with the people you love, and don't prance around like a silly fool in a wedding dress.
The pleasure of your company is requested at the marriage of Bride's Full Name and Groom's Full Name Day, date time o'clock Forest Lawn Location Glendale, California
(separate reception card) Reception time o'clock XYZ Restaurant Address Glendale, California
I greatly appreciate everyone who took the time to reply to my post! I apologize for the late response to everyone but I am a full time student and work full time so I have a very hectic schedule. I really enjoyed reading everyone's feedback. It was very enlightening! My fiance and I will drive 2 hours to go somewhere in a heart beat so I think we forgot to think about those who don't. We consider even a 6 hour drive no big deal. So, in that sense I do see how that is selfish. I think I should see this more as a destination wedding, and I forgot who mentioned it, but the idea to send out two separate invitations is perfect. My fiance's sister just had a destination wedding and her reception was weeks later. It still worked out beautifully so I thought that would be perfect for our situation. We are a very weird couple (I can feel the judgments rolling in lol) and we have our hearts set on the venue in Glendale because it is at Forest Lawn. Sadly, they don't provide a reception area and all the venues in that area require a 250 guest count and we only have 105. The idea of having the ceremony and then having at least some kind of food after is brilliant! I also would not want to sit through all that without being fed. So maybe the two separate invites and then after the ceremony we could invite everyone to a wonderful dinner somewhere or see if we can bring in snacks and drinks.
You're on the right track. I'm meh about a separate celebration the next day; in this case it's definitely the lesser of two evils, so to speak. There are a few things you need to keep in mind, though.
First, hosting your ceremony guests with food and drinks is not a negotiable. If you have guests you must host them (the reception) and it must be appropriate to the time of day. That means that if the ceremony and reception overlap with a meal time then you need to serve a meal. If I were you I would make reservations at a restaurant for after the ceremony, on your dime, of course.
Second, the party the next day is not your reception and it should be as un-receptionlike as possible. You will have already had your reception; this will be just a celebration of your marriage. A party, basically.
I have to say, though, I don't believe that you can't find anywhere in Glendale or within half an hour of Glendale to have a reception for 105 people. Have you thought outside the box? Museums, art exhibits, parks, libraries, community centers? It would solve a lot of your problems to have everything all in one day.
I greatly appreciate everyone who took the time to reply to my post! I apologize for the late response to everyone but I am a full time student and work full time so I have a very hectic schedule. I really enjoyed reading everyone's feedback. It was very enlightening! My fiance and I will drive 2 hours to go somewhere in a heart beat so I think we forgot to think about those who don't. We consider even a 6 hour drive no big deal. So, in that sense I do see how that is selfish. I think I should see this more as a destination wedding, and I forgot who mentioned it, but the idea to send out two separate invitations is perfect. My fiance's sister just had a destination wedding and her reception was weeks later. It still worked out beautifully so I thought that would be perfect for our situation. We are a very weird couple (I can feel the judgments rolling in lol) and we have our hearts set on the venue in Glendale because it is at Forest Lawn. Sadly, they don't provide a reception area and all the venues in that area require a 250 guest count and we only have 105. The idea of having the ceremony and then having at least some kind of food after is brilliant! I also would not want to sit through all that without being fed. So maybe the two separate invites and then after the ceremony we could invite everyone to a wonderful dinner somewhere or see if we can bring in snacks and drinks.
Exactly. You have the ceremony, and then you have some kind of food after. That's called a reception.
You can have a big party back home the next day if you like, but it won't be a reception. Your reception is when you feed everyone and thank them for coming to your ceremony, immediately following the ceremony.
Re: How to have a wedding one day and the reception another?
If you are going to do this, I would make the ceremony totally private. Parents, siblings, and you and your FI. Then just invite everyone to party the next night. You'll get a ton of regrets as a result, b/c most people come to actually see the wedding, but local guests will probably come and have fun, and maybe some out-of-towners.
As you said, it's way too awkward to be like "thanks for coming, see you tomorrow!"
Many people I know do this. It seems really nice and brunch is awesome!
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Even if your ceremony and celebration didn't take place on the same day, you would still be obliged to offer hospitality on the same day as the ceremony to those in attendance, which would be your "reception." So delaying a "reception" doesn't make sense etiquette-wise.
Also, as PPs have pointed out, asking family and friends for an extra day for a celebration when they've already taken one out of their lives for your ceremony isn't doing them any favors or conveniences, to put it kindly.
I'm hosting a brunch on Sunday morning...mostly because a majority of our guests are from OOT so we wanted to feed them before they had to get on the road/to the airport.
i won't be opening gifts in front of anyone, mostly because i expect that we'll get mostly cards with checks in them. After FSIL's wedding, she had a gift openeing (just her parents, FSIL, FBIL, me, and FI) and was announcing the check amounts and it was super awkward. Also FMIL was writing down what everyone gave so that she would "know what to give their kids when they get married" which always rubs me the wrong way. I will be telling no one what anyone else gives us. it's not their business.
Like I said, I TOTALLY believe you really want to get married at this ceremony venue. I believe it's important to you. If that's the case, though, either you need to change your reception venue needs and book a reception venue closer to the ceremony (on the same day), or you need to change your ceremony venue.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Absolutely there is!
Have your ceremony start at 11:30pm on New Year's Eve and your reception IMMEDIATELY following. At the same location.
The pleasure of your company is requested
at the marriage of
Bride's Full Name
and
Groom's Full Name
Day, date
time o'clock
Forest Lawn Location
Glendale, California
(separate reception card)
Reception
time o'clock
XYZ Restaurant
Address
Glendale, California
First, hosting your ceremony guests with food and drinks is not a negotiable. If you have guests you must host them (the reception) and it must be appropriate to the time of day. That means that if the ceremony and reception overlap with a meal time then you need to serve a meal. If I were you I would make reservations at a restaurant for after the ceremony, on your dime, of course.
Second, the party the next day is not your reception and it should be as un-receptionlike as possible. You will have already had your reception; this will be just a celebration of your marriage. A party, basically.
I have to say, though, I don't believe that you can't find anywhere in Glendale or within half an hour of Glendale to have a reception for 105 people. Have you thought outside the box? Museums, art exhibits, parks, libraries, community centers? It would solve a lot of your problems to have everything all in one day.