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Wedding Etiquette Forum
Rlw2014
member
Is it ever acceptable to use paper dinner napkins? Really nice, ADORABLE napkins?
I can't stand the poly rental napkins! Does anyone know of inexpensive alternatives?
Best Answers
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AroundTheBlock member
Yes, poly rental napkins are despicable. But paper is no improvement; quite the opposite. How many napkins do you need? You can buy bulk cotton napkins at about a dollar apiece; you *might* conceivable be able to make them at less than that cost if you have a serger and five hours you don't need, but it would not be worth my time: 20" x 20" napkins are not that big an improvement even if they are cotton. You can buy bulk linen napkins for between $4 and $5 apiece but they are still the little 20x20 ones.
Have you looked into higher-end rentals, such as actual linen? I cannot get linen where I am located, but I can get poly-cotton which is at least a little nicer than plain polyester, limited size choices though, always. If you entertain often, and have somewhere to store them, they are one of the things it may be worth buying rather than renting. I have collected a nice stack of cotton ones and a few linen ones and make do with those. -
JaxInBlue member
I think it depends on the formality of your event. Informal - sure, paper works. Multi-course sit-down dinner - not so much. If you are holding something more formal, I think AroundTheBlock has good ideas about looking around for rentals through a different company, or purchasing what you need if you think you could reuse most of them in the future (or maybe sell them?).
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Are you aware of a rental source for linen napkins, at all? If so, would you be so kind as to share it?MuttiSigyn said:That is literally the only situations where having paper napkins would be acceptable. Otherwise, they should be linen, with only the exception above.
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Amyzen83 said:This seems like one of those victimless crimes but then again I don't give a rats ass about little details like that as long as I have a seat for my butt, food to satisfy me, cake and drinks I don't have to pay for
This. At the end of the day no one is going to care if you have paper or cloth napkins. -
wrigleyville member
I would find it odd, especially if they had a pattern on them like the napkins you use at home, but it wouldn't bother me. I would say that if you are going to use paper napkins, you should use a solid color, similar to the ones you see at showers, parties, etc.I suppose I'd have to see a picture to determine what you mean by adorable. I've never seen adorable napkins.
Additionally, if they do have a pattern, that's going to remind me of birthday parties and such. Unless your wedding is casual, like a backyard wedding or BBQ on the beach, I'd stick with the cotton/poly/linen options. -
These types of paper napkins look kinda classy http://m.partycity.com/products/black+ornamental+scroll+lunch+napkins+16ct -
lyndausvi mod
I would prefer a cotton/poly/linen napkin over a paper one.I also think it's odd when people mix disposable and non-disposable items at events. Using glass, china and silver then paper napkins bring more attention to the item that is different. I would feel the same if you had disposable plates, plastic cups, plastic forks and then cloth napkins. Personally I feel like it should be uniformed.What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. -
SammiNJonni member
I know you do not want poly but this site has poly and satin. I am actually using their navy blue poly at my wedding and they are good quality.
http://www.smartyhadaparty.com/
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"Is it ever acceptable to use paper dinner napkins?"Yes. Less formal weddings for sure. I really wouldn't care very much, as long as there WERE napkins. It also depends on the couple and the wedding. If I went to a wedding where a bride spent $10k on her wedding dress, and used paper napkins, I'd be giving some epic side-eye.now with ~* INCREASED SASSINESS *~
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Those are nice, but they'd still look strange paired with real plates, utensils, and such. Those would be better on the cake table. I do like them; I just can't get past the "paper" thing.Amyzen83 said:These types of paper napkins look kinda classy http://m.partycity.com/products/black+ornamental+scroll+lunch+napkins+16ct -
lc07 member
Our wedding was definitely not informal. We had paper napkins. Our reception was "moving style/cocktail style" - basically we had food stations. We had some regular tables but a lot of the seating was lounge seating, high top tables (with chairs) etc. and so paper napkins worked so that when the servers came by to clear your plates they would also clear your napkins and you could approach a new food station and receive a new napkin without us having to guess how many cotton napkins to rent. -
lovesclimbing member
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Fairyjen1 member
In 1969 my mom had paper napkins in her wedding. They were engraved with their name and date and had wedding bells printed on them. They were silver and white. I only know this because we ran across a huge box of leftover napkins a few months ago tucked back in a closet.Honestly, I can't remember if there were cloth or paper napkins at any of the three weddings I went to in the last year. I assume there were napkins as I probably would have noticed if they weren't. Other than that I don't care. The wedding package for our wedding at Disneyland comes with whatever color cloth napkins match your decor, but if they came with paper I'd be perfectly fine with that.Seriously, people side eye paper napkins? If anyone complained to me about paper napkins I'd tell they are free to pay for cloth ones and then go on my merry way. I think this is sort of low on the etiquette crime scale. -
Cookie Pusher
member
I don't think it matters, so long as you have enough napkins. Paper ones aren't always as durable (and a lot of people get squicked out if they drop a paper napkin moreso than with a cloth napkin), but unless I was attending a black-tie or white-tie event with paper napkins, I really wouldn't care as long as I HAD a napkin.~*~*~*~*~
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I remember seeing napkins like that at a lot of weddings in the 80s too.Fairyjen1 said:In 1969 my mom had paper napkins in her wedding. They were engraved with their name and date and had wedding bells printed on them. They were silver and white. I only know this because we ran across a huge box of leftover napkins a few months ago tucked back in a closet.Honestly, I can't remember if there were cloth or paper napkins at any of the three weddings I went to in the last year. I assume there were napkins as I probably would have noticed if they weren't. Other than that I don't care. The wedding package for our wedding at Disneyland comes with whatever color cloth napkins match your decor, but if they came with paper I'd be perfectly fine with that.Seriously, people side eye paper napkins? If anyone complained to me about paper napkins I'd tell they are free to pay for cloth ones and then go on my merry way. I think this is sort of low on the etiquette crime scale.I don't think anyone meant they'd actually complain about it or mention it to the bride.
This discussion has been closed.
Re: Is it ever acceptable to use paper dinner napkins? Really nice, ADORABLE napkins?
This. Nice napkins will look nice, but I don't remember the napkins from any wedding I have ever been to, so ultimately I don't think it's worth worrying about.
Do you think it really matters though? For instance, we're renting glassware for the tables (wine glasses and water goblets and water pitchers) but our bar will have heavy duty disposables since the cost of renting glassware for the open bar all night it just not reasonable to us. Ultimately I really don't think it matters. I mean, if it were a black tie wedding I would be super confused, but at your average event, I honestly don't think I would notice.
We're doing the same for glassware. Since our venue doesn't have anywhere to wash/sanitize dishes, the caterer can't wash glasses between uses. The rental is over $1/glass. It would cost us a fortune to cover the 5 hour open bar!
Exactly. I can't even imagine how many glasses we'd go through in 5-6 hours. It would be way more additional $ than I could justify spending. And I'd rather spend it on food and alcohol.
Yep. We've opted to upgrade the alcohol selection instead of paying for glassware (I refuse to serve Montezuma's Tequila, ew). We upgraded the food selection and we are bringing in mead instead of having champagne (at an enormous additional cost, but we're having a lot of Irish folk, they're so excited we'll be serving it). Our venue is definitely not formal, so it shouldn't be a big deal. I think our guests will appreciate shrimp cocktail more than glassware.