First of all - it's YOUR wedding! That sounds really cute, and you know your guests best! The comment someone had about it being organic is definitely something to consider, but I think you should go for it! I don't think that it would detract at all if you're definitely planning on putting cake in each other's faces, it would be cute to see who wins.
I have a rather large family with lots of weddings, as you might imagine. Some time in the past few years, someone read somewhere that when you smash cake in each other's faces it's a sign of disrespect - the older generations took that to heart and told all of us that we shouldn't do it. I have to tell you, it's had an incredibly depressing effect. One cousin totally took that out of her wedding. One cousin and his wife discussed it and decided not to do it, but then her family told her she should, so when it came to cut the cake, my cousin got some in his face - he was PISSED since they had discussed it and decided not to. My sister and her husband decided not to do it.
I'm on the fence. On one hand, I think it's a really cute moment for guests to witness. Pictures of those moments are some of my favorites. On the other hand, I really don't feel like dealing with the aftermath of cake on my actual face, and I know if we do it my family will have that "ooh, disrespect!" moment and that REALLY annoys me.
So basically I have one cousin who wanted to do it and didn't because of our family, one cousin who didn't want to but his wife did because of HER family and it caused tension, and a sister who didn't want to do it in the first place, so didn't. Of the three, the ones who were happiest were my sister and her husband, because they did it based on their feelings. So please don't let all these comments deter you - consider their advice but if that's what you want, go for it!
First of all - it's YOUR wedding! That sounds really cute, and you know your guests best! The comment someone had about it being organic is definitely something to consider, but I think you should go for it! I don't think that it would detract at all if you're definitely planning on putting cake in each other's faces, it would be cute to see who wins.
I have a rather large family with lots of weddings, as you might imagine. Some time in the past few years, someone read somewhere that when you smash cake in each other's faces it's a sign of disrespect - the older generations took that to heart and told all of us that we shouldn't do it. I have to tell you, it's had an incredibly depressing effect. One cousin totally took that out of her wedding. One cousin and his wife discussed it and decided not to do it, but then her family told her she should, so when it came to cut the cake, my cousin got some in his face - he was PISSED since they had discussed it and decided not to. My sister and her husband decided not to do it.
I'm on the fence. On one hand, I think it's a really cute moment for guests to witness. Pictures of those moments are some of my favorites. On the other hand, I really don't feel like dealing with the aftermath of cake on my actual face, and I know if we do it my family will have that "ooh, disrespect!" moment and that REALLY annoys me.
So basically I have one cousin who wanted to do it and didn't because of our family, one cousin who didn't want to but his wife did because of HER family and it caused tension, and a sister who didn't want to do it in the first place, so didn't. Of the three, the ones who were happiest were my sister and her husband, because they did it based on their feelings. So please don't let all these comments deter you - consider their advice but if that's what you want, go for it!
Part of getting married is to acknowledge that you are an adult, not a case of arrested development. I fail to see what makes it "cute." I don't even like watching little
kids get cake on their faces, so I would not find this "a really cute
moment for guests to witness" if I'm a wedding guest. I would be grossed out and irritated that I was expected to watch two people, supposedly mature enough to get married, regress to childish behavior that is not even polite for children.
I would be mortified if I actually spent that much time & money on hair & make-up and somebody thought it would be a good idea to smash cake all over my face that early in the reception.
If you're willing to risk it then go with the chips. Don't be so sure that the groom will be one, though.
I wasn't worried about hair and makeup since my stylist will be with me the entire day and frankly if you can't deal with a fingertip full of icing on your nose....you're taking life too serious.
I do however appreciate @platformsupervisor14 and your comment about it being organic. I do agree with that. Thanks! I really hadn't thought of it that way and you're right.
I think we'll do a little I Spy card for the tables instead if people need more entertainment. I doubt there's any way that could offend people.
There is a big difference between a dab of icing on your nose and a full piece of cake smashed into your face.
I think a cake smash (or even frosting on the nose) is kind of dumb. You know your guests- if you think they'll like it then I guess go for it. I tend to feel that well-hosted weddings (great food, open bar, terrific music) don't need games like voting with chips in jars to keep guests entertained, but again, you know your guests best, if they'd like it, then enjoy!
No way - I hate that "tradition" of cake-smashing into faces. I'm going to make sure that's clear with my fiance that it won't happen - I doubt he'll want to do it either.
First of all - it's YOUR wedding! That sounds really cute, and you know your guests best! The comment someone had about it being organic is definitely something to consider, but I think you should go for it! I don't think that it would detract at all if you're definitely planning on putting cake in each other's faces, it would be cute to see who wins.
It's a good thing you said that, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have known otherwise!
I wasn't worried about hair and makeup since my stylist will be with me the entire day and frankly if you can't deal with a fingertip full of icing on your nose....you're taking life too serious.
"Don't take life too seriously - you'll never get out alive!" -Van Wilder
I find it odd that people would find cake smashing rude, highly offensive and tacky -but it's okay to say that if your FI does this you'll withhold sex for the honeymoon, an entire year, or get an annulment. Seriously?
I wasn't worried about hair and makeup since my stylist will be with me the entire day and frankly if you can't deal with a fingertip full of icing on your nose....you're taking life too serious.
"Don't take life too seriously - you'll never get out alive!" -Van Wilder
I find it odd that people would find cake smashing rude, highly offensive and tacky -but it's okay to say that if your FI does this you'll withhold sex for the honeymoon, an entire year, or get an annulment. Seriously?
You find it odd that someone would be offended by having an expensive piece of cake smashed in their face on their wedding day, ruining their hair, makeup, and clothes (also expensive), making a fool of them, and then being angry enough that they don't want to have sex with the person who just committed such a hostile and humiliating act in public?
I wasn't worried about hair and makeup since my stylist will be with me the entire day and frankly if you can't deal with a fingertip full of icing on your nose....you're taking life too serious.
"Don't take life too seriously - you'll never get out alive!" -Van Wilder
I find it odd that people would find cake smashing rude, highly offensive and tacky -but it's okay to say that if your FI does this you'll withhold sex for the honeymoon, an entire year, or get an annulment. Seriously?
You find it odd that someone would be offended by having an expensive piece of cake smashed in their face on their wedding day, ruining their hair, makeup, and clothes (also expensive), making a fool of them, and then being angry enough that they don't want to have sex with the person who just committed such a hostile and humiliating act in public?
Seriously?
Not to mention that for me, frosting makes me break out. We thought it would be brilliant to have a cake fight after closing night of one of my HS musicals and I had a major break out for a week after.
No, it wasn't from the stage makeup because never in my life has that been an issue and I had no make up on during the time of the cake fight. I also never suffered from acne as a teen.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I do not take myself too seriously at all, yet I would be very annoyed to have an entire cake slice smushed on my face. Like I mentioned before, why waste a perfectly good piece of cake and waste time getting my hair and makeup redone when it could be spent out having fun?
I completely understand the reasoning on why some people wouldn't want to have cake shoved in their face. (though I've never seen it done in a hostile manner where someone's hair and dress would be involved in any way). I simply wouldn't threaten to divorce someone or withhold sex for a long period of time over it. That night - I guess I get. It's just like any other fight - if you're fighting - you most likely don't want to have sex.
I completely understand the reasoning on why some people wouldn't want to have cake shoved in their face. (though I've never seen it done in a hostile manner where someone's hair and dress would be involved in any way). I simply wouldn't threaten to divorce someone or withhold sex for a long period of time over it. That night - I guess I get. It's just like any other fight - if you're fighting - you most likely don't want to have sex.
If you had discussed the issue with your FI before the wedding but then he smashed cake in your face against your wishes and you asking him not to, yeah I would consider an annulment because apparently he doesn't give a rats ass about what you say or what you want.
And I have seen plenty of cake smashes where the cake gets up the nose, down the dress, in the eyes and in the hair. None of it was funny or fun to watch. In fact, each time I rolled my eyes and walked away because there you have two people dressed to the nine's who are taking cake and shoving it forcefully into each others faces. If that is not tacky and classless then I don't know what is.
I completely understand the reasoning on why some people wouldn't want to have cake shoved in their face. (though I've never seen it done in a hostile manner where someone's hair and dress would be involved in any way). I simply wouldn't threaten to divorce someone or withhold sex for a long period of time over it. That night - I guess I get. It's just like any other fight - if you're fighting - you most likely don't want to have sex.
I don't think it's about the cake so much as about asking your FI to respect how you feel on the matter. I have expressly told my FI that I would feel angry and humiliated if he smashes cake in my face and have expressly asked him not to do it. If he did it anyway, he would be showing a complete disregard for my feelings and a complete disrespect for my request. It's not too much to ask to not have cake smashed in your face during the course of your relationship.
So yes, if my FI humiliates me and ignores my requests and smashes cake in my face in front of 150 friends and family members, I would be seriously wondering if I married the right person.
I would not use the excuse of my hair and make up for the reason I don't want cake smashed in my face. I know I don't like food smashed in my face ever. One time I was at an ice cream stand with a friend of mine wearing shorts and a t-shirt and he thought it would be funny to smash his ice cream cone into my nose. I was beyond pissed! He apologized a million times and told me he thought it was funny, but it wasn't. So yeah my opinion on not having cake shoved in my face has nothing to do with how much I spent on everything. I just think it's rude and disrespectful.
I wasn't worried about hair and makeup since my stylist will be with me the entire day and frankly if you can't deal with a fingertip full of icing on your nose....you're taking life too serious.
"Don't take life too seriously - you'll never get out alive!" -Van Wilder
I find it odd that people would find cake smashing rude, highly offensive and tacky -but it's okay to say that if your FI does this you'll withhold sex for the honeymoon, an entire year, or get an annulment. Seriously?
I completely understand the reasoning on why some people wouldn't want to have cake shoved in their face. (though I've never seen it done in a hostile manner where someone's hair and dress would be involved in any way). I simply wouldn't threaten to divorce someone or withhold sex for a long period of time over it. That night - I guess I get. It's just like any other fight - if you're fighting - you most likely don't want to have sex.
You're taking the comments out of context. The context was not simply "If he smashed cake" the context is "I told him I don't/didn't want cake smashed in my face, and if he did it anyways ------ will/would have happened." Two VERY different situations there. You can't get too upset at someone for doing something you think is dumb, but never mentioned to them before. You can get very upset if you make it very clear what you don't want, and they just do it anyways because that is very disrespectful.
Also @alm&mdm there is a HUGE difference between cake in each other's faces and just a dab of frosting on the nose!!!!! in your OP you said "Cake Smash" and "Face full of cake-" When we read that we think of a whole piece of cake being smashed in someone's face, not of a single fingertip full of frosting.
I completely understand the reasoning on why some people wouldn't want to have cake shoved in their face. (though I've never seen it done in a hostile manner where someone's hair and dress would be involved in any way). I simply wouldn't threaten to divorce someone or withhold sex for a long period of time over it. That night - I guess I get. It's just like any other fight - if you're fighting - you most likely don't want to have sex.
I don't think it's about the cake so much as about asking your FI to respect how you feel on the matter. I have expressly told my FI that I would feel angry and humiliated if he smashes cake in my face and have expressly asked him not to do it. If he did it anyway, he would be showing a complete disregard for my feelings and a complete disrespect for my request. It's not too much to ask to not have cake smashed in your face during the course of your relationship.
So yes, if my FI humiliates me and ignores my requests and smashes cake in my face in front of 150 friends and family members, I would be seriously wondering if I married the right person.
And if he can't respect your wishes on the very first day of your marriage how does the bode for the rest of the marriage?
DH and I were both anti-cake smash so it worked out well.
Re: Cake in the Face Vote?
Seriously?
No, it wasn't from the stage makeup because never in my life has that been an issue and I had no make up on during the time of the cake fight. I also never suffered from acne as a teen.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."