'Please fund my surrogate pregnancy.'

Re: 'Please fund my surrogate pregnancy.'

• JCbride2015 member

  

  February 2014

  Oh Jeebus.

  
  

  Her terrible grammar and lowercase i's are not making me want to donate.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  "I'm not a rude bitch.  I'm ten rude bitches in a large coat."

  
  

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  February 2014

  OK, I know adoption isn't cheap, but I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than $20k.  I might be more sympathetic to this if she was trying to raise money for an adoption.  Other people should give her money because she *must* have her own biological child?  Sorry, that rubs me the wrong way.

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• JennyColada member

  

  February 2014

  Because babies are free after they're born. Right?

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  February 2014

  Jennycolada said:

  Because babies are free after they're born. Right?

  I was just going to add, if they can't save more than $2k towards this goal on their own, how are they going to afford a child?

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  February 2014

  I hate this kind of stuff.   What I hate more is if you don't like these types of donations you are some how an insensitive bitch.

  
  

  I blame the media.  GMA, Today Show all glamorize this kind of stuff.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• tcnoble member

  

  February 2014

  Is it really NOT a big deal for people to make these fund me pages? I want corgi puppies. Who wants to fund that? They're cute, I'll even send pictures like those "adopt a child" programs. FUND MEEEE!!! 

  
  

  But really. Do people have no shame?

  

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• Emmy1493 member

  

  February 2014

  Because words aren't enough.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• thisismynickname2 member

  

  February 2014

  I hate these kinds of people. 

  
  

  People can question/dispute my beliefs if they want, but I think everyone in life has a calling. If you are unable to reproduce and desperately want to, I think you should accept that your calling is not to be a biological parent and you should explore other options. If you have the funds, adopt an unwanted child- there are many in the world. Foster a child. Volunteer with childrens' organizations. Something!

  
  

  If you're wealthy and can afford to use science to your advantage, then you are lucky. Begging? Not cool.   

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• jdluvr06 member

  

  February 2014

  I would never ask strangers to help with something like that. We have several people in my family who are in the process of adopting or have adopted and all of us pitched in to help fund it and my one cousin and his wife received donation from their church. The big difference though is that they didn't ask for money people offered it out of kindness.

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• Emmy1493 member

  

  February 2014

  thisismynickname said:

  I hate these kinds of people. 

  
  

  People can question/dispute my beliefs if they want, but I think everyone in life has a calling. If you are unable to reproduce and desperately want to, I think you should accept that your calling is not to be a biological parent and you should explore other options. If you have the funds, adopt an unwanted child- there are many in the world. Foster a child. Volunteer with childrens' organizations. Something!

  
  

  If you're wealthy and can afford to use science to your advantage, then you are lucky. Begging? Not cool.   

  This exactly! I mean, I understand wanting to experience the pregnancy feeling, I do. I hope that someday when I am in that place in life that I can, if not, then I can find a different direction in which you are discussing. I would/will never beg, though.

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Maggie0829 member

  

  February 2014

  Begging for money from strangers (or anyone for that matter) is never okay.  Ever.

  
  

  There are a lot of things I want in this world but you don't see me making a go fund me page for them. Why?  Because I have some self-respect and would rather work hard to get them so I can appreciate it more when I do get those things.

  
  

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• SBmini member

  

  February 2014

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  OK, I know adoption isn't cheap, but I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than $20k.  I might be more sympathetic to this if she was trying to raise money for an adoption.  Other people should give her money because she *must* have her own biological child?  Sorry, that rubs me the wrong way.

  She wants a surrogate, not an adoption. I.e. pay another woman to have a baby for them, all the medical bills plus enough to make it worth her time. My cousin was a surrogate once and she was paid $20,000 for it.

  
  

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• NavyBlue143 member

  

  February 2014

  I think she was suggesting they go for adoption rather than use a surrogate.
  
  I saw one of these once. The couple had already raised money through donations once for IVF. Tragically, the baby was born extremely prematurely and died after a few hours. They then set up another donation fund because they desperately wanted a child of "their own." Point blank said they didn't wish to adopt, they wanted their dna and no one else's, but expected others to pay. Twice!

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• ElcaB member

  

  February 2014

  I'm trying hard not to be McJudgeyPants over here, but this girl looks awfully young. I realize age doesn't necessarily indicate maturity or parenting abilities, but there's a lot that goes into a surrogacy besides the sperm and the egg. The emotional weight of a decision like that is serious business, not to mention the ongoing emotions throughout the process. I can't help but wonder if she's thought about that side. 

  
  

  Secondly, @Jennycolada pretty much hit the nail on the head. Babies cost money, yo. 

  
  

  Lastly, grammar aside, her paragraph was horribly written. There was a millisentence about how a baby will make her family whole, but I didn't see anything about why she wanted a baby other than to fill a vacancy, which is not reason enough to have a baby by any means, surrogacy or not. 

  

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• RebeccaB88 member

  

  February 2014

  OK, I know adoption isn't cheap, but I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than $20k.  I might be more sympathetic to this if she was trying to raise money for an adoption.  Other people should give her money because she *must* have her own biological child?  Sorry, that rubs me the wrong way.

  That's pretty damn insulting to those of us adopted kids in this world. Like we shouldn't be good enough for our parents because we don't share DNA.

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• CrazyCatLady3 member

  

  February 2014

  SBmini said:

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  OK, I know adoption isn't cheap, but I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than $20k.  I might be more sympathetic to this if she was trying to raise money for an adoption.  Other people should give her money because she *must* have her own biological child?  Sorry, that rubs me the wrong way.

  She wants a surrogate, not an adoption. I.e. pay another woman to have a baby for them, all the medical bills plus enough to make it worth her time. My cousin was a surrogate once and she was paid $20,000 for it.

  I know that.  I'm saying that I would have more sympathy if she was raising money to adopt rather than seeking $20k so she can pay a surrogate just because she wants her own biological child.

  Report1 Reply
• RebeccaB88 member

  

  February 2014

  SBmini said:

  CrazyCatLady3 said:

  OK, I know adoption isn't cheap, but I'm pretty sure it's cheaper than $20k.  I might be more sympathetic to this if she was trying to raise money for an adoption.  Other people should give her money because she *must* have her own biological child?  Sorry, that rubs me the wrong way.

  She wants a surrogate, not an adoption. I.e. pay another woman to have a baby for them, all the medical bills plus enough to make it worth her time. My cousin was a surrogate once and she was paid $20,000 for it.

  I know that.  I'm saying that I would have more sympathy if she was raising money to adopt rather than seeking $20k so she can pay a surrogate just because she wants her own biological child.

  I didn't make myself clear. I was responding more to her entitled, insulting attitude about 'my own child'. Not to you. I'm sorry about that! *reminds self to explain herself better*

  Report2 Reply
• daria24 member

  

  February 2014

  Unless she has a friend/family member who has offered to be her surrogate, surrogacy costs waaaaaaay more than $10-$20k. My friend was a surrogate and her fee alone was $20k. You have to pay all the medical expenses, legal expenses, etc.
  
  On the other hand, I have a friend who adopted three siblings at once (they were in the foster system) for about $3k. And he couldn't love those children more, shared DNA or not.

  

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• FiancB member

  

  February 2014

  Yeah honestly maybe I'm coldhearted but I get annoyed when people complain about the costs of adoption/fertility treatments/surrogacy. You can adopt through foster care for pretty much nothing. Don't get me wrong, I really want my own kid too and hope that conception will come easily to me, but if it turns out that I can't I'll be pretty happy with fostering/adopting too. Definitely not going to beg for money so that my superior genes can be propagated. 

  
  

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• HaileyDancingbear member

  

  February 2014

  Ok, maybe I'm being a bit insensitive with this, but I don't see why this girl absolutely HAS to spend $20,000 she can't even get on her own, just so that the kid looks like her, meanwhile how many kids are growing up in foster care?  

  
  

  I mean I get wanting the kid to have the same genetics, but the way I see it, adopting a child makes you no less of a mother and that child is no less your kid.  Parents are the people who raised and love you.  If they happen to share your DNA or not isn't relevant to me.

  
  

  There are just so many friggin kids that need a home so badly.  And they deserve a nice home.  I feel like if she's not able to afford the $20000 on her own, she should really reconsider what part of being a mother is most important to her.  Does she want to raise a kid or does she just want it to look lie her- I think if not sharing DNA is a total deal-breaker, maybe she needs to re-evaluate what it means to be a mother.  

  

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• sofakingmad member

  

  February 2014

  I don't like fundraisers for anything that is out of choice.

  
  

  I do somewhat understand fundraisers for children with illnesses or even adults with illnesses, as they didn't choose that fate.

  
  

  With that said, $20K for a surrogate is a f*cking steal.  Or she is stealing money.  Surrogacies can cost the Intended Parents upwards of $150,000 out of pocket.

  
  

  It doesn't make sense.  

  

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• HobokensFury member

  

  February 2014

  Did you notice the "Every donation has a reduced processing fee today!" Tag line across the top.

   
   

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• sarahufl member

  

  February 2014

  Yeah, I am not a fan of crowdsourcing in general. But I also think that if you are going to do it, check your grammar.
  
  I feel bad for people who can't have biological kids, but there are other ways.
  

  
  

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• emmyg65 member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  We're dealing with infertility right now, so I get it. It's an expensive, difficult process and some options, like adopting from foster care might not be right for you. But that doesn't mean you can solicit funds from people. Parenthood is not an inherent right, and we all have our own struggles that we need to deal with.

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• Jells2dot0 mod

  

  February 2014

  I'm paying every month to NOT get pregnant! I think maybe I'll start a GoFundMe to cover all of my birth control methods.

  Regardless of not being able to put myself into the shoes of someone so desperate to be a mom, I agree with PPs on this just being wrong. Especially the part about asking for money to have the kid and not really thinking about the extreme costs AFTER the child is already born.

   

  

  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  

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• doeydo member

  

  February 2014

  tcnoble said:

  Is it really NOT a big deal for people to make these fund me pages? I want corgi puppies. Who wants to fund that? They're cute, I'll even send pictures like those "adopt a child" programs. FUND MEEEE!!! 

  
  

  But really. Do people have no shame?

  Oh, I could start one for a house with a big yard and then another one for Newfoundland puppies, because who wants to save their own money for stuff?
  
  
  
  

  
  

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• Emmy1493 member

  

  February 2014

  DragonBlood13 said:

  I don't like fundraisers for anything that is out of choice.

  
  

  I do somewhat understand fundraisers for children with illnesses or even adults with illnesses, as they didn't choose that fate.

  
  

  With that said, $20K for a surrogate is a f*cking steal.  Or she is stealing money.  Surrogacies can cost the Intended Parents upwards of $150,000 out of pocket.

  
  

  It doesn't make sense.  

  Well, from the look of her post, she really can't spell so her math skills are probably way off base, too.

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• pinkcow13 member

  

  February 2014

  Soooo they need $20K from family, friends, and strangers so that they can get a surrogate. And they fill up their Go Fund me page with vacation pics taken in NYC, some Caribbean/southern beach, and other beaches? Yea, okay. Let me run and reach for the wallet.

                               

  

  
  

   

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• JennyColada member

  

  February 2014

  doeydo said:

  
  

  tcnoble said:

  
  

  Is it really NOT a big deal for people to make these fund me pages? I want corgi puppies. Who wants to fund that? They're cute, I'll even send pictures like those "adopt a child" programs. FUND MEEEE!!! 

  
  

  But really. Do people have no shame?

  
  

  Oh, I could start one for a house with a big yard and then another one for Newfoundland puppies, because who wants to save their own money for stuff?
  
  
  
  
  
  Seriously. Saving money is so blasé.

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• jenna8984 member

  

  February 2014

  I find it hilarious that there are 4 "supporters" on the webpage yet none of them gave money since it's still $0 balance hahahah 

                                                                   

  
  

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