Gift Card Bridal Shower

JerseyML · October 2010

Everyone wants cake. Mmmm Red Velvet.

megandjay · October 2010

To answer your question: Yes, it would be rude.

If you need further clarification on why, see the previous posts.

saisongbird · October 2010

I have to say that if received an "invitation" to send someone a gift card, I'd probably have a string of inappropriate words coming out of my mouth, and would never be able to consider those people with any type of respect ever again. it's rude. Don't do it. As much as it sucks, you may just have to decline a shower if you don't have a relative in the area who could hold onto the gifts for you.

Furthermore, as PP have stated, this is a public forum. You're going to get a wide variety of people and possibly responses. If you don't like what we have to say, you have the choice of leaving. There's no need to insult people and behave in a childish manner. Seriously, go back and re-read these posts when you're calm, and you'll see how ridiculous you're being.

Chasity08 · October 2010

Ditto everything that everyone else has said. I really have nothing further to add...except...

I like my cake with vanilla ice cream.. =]

LRPJ · October 2010

A group of friends and family threw a surpise postal bridal shower for our friend who lives 11 hours away.

We had everyone drop off/send gifts (if they wanted to) to a friend in charge. Gifts and cards were sent to the bride-to-be in big boxes. Her fiance knew about the plan and was in charge of documenting everything. There were tons of pictures posted on Facebook, and she tagged everyone. We all felt like we were there.

She was so surprised. She wasn't even going to have a shower--we just thought she deserved one and had a small group of her closest family and friends surprise her

heyimbren · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_gift-card-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:6a464306-fb26-4757-927b-1f0d37831f58Post:de8fb6a9-fcbb-48c3-8895-a0e09f42852b">Re: Gift Card Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]A group of friends and family threw a surpise postal bridal shower for our friend who lives 11 hours away. We had everyone drop off/send gifts (if they wanted to) to a friend in charge. Gifts and cards were sent to the bride-to-be in big boxes. Her fiance knew about the plan and was in charge of documenting everything. There were tons of pictures posted on Facebook, and she tagged everyone. We all felt like we were there. She was so surprised. She wasn't even going to have a shower--we just thought she deserved one and had a small group of her closest family and friends surprise her :)
Posted by LRPJ[/QUOTE]

To clarify, I see nothing wrong with this idea <strong>as long as the bride (or groom) aren't involved in planning it.</strong> If the family and friends want to surprise the bride by doing this, I think it's a nice idea.

Linz10882 · October 2010

It's my party and I'll cry if I want to!!! lol

rae19 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_gift-card-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:6a464306-fb26-4757-927b-1f0d37831f58Post:294958cc-9376-43bb-a5d3-5a2013af2995">Re: Gift Card Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Gift Card Bridal Shower : Oh, and I hate showers like this, too. I was invited to one this summer and was still assigned a gift to buy even after I RSVP'd no. There is no double standard here. It's all wrong.
Posted by bablingbrooke[/QUOTE]

Um, really? People ASSIGN gifts?!

beebe918 · October 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/special-topic-wedding-boards_pre-wedding-parties_gift-card-bridal-shower?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Special Topic Wedding BoardsForum:32Discussion:6a464306-fb26-4757-927b-1f0d37831f58Post:288476c3-c0ba-40b1-a16e-5ba15fa63b92">Re: Gift Card Bridal Shower</a>:
[QUOTE]I also don't see why all over this site some of you same girls think its okay to ask for gift cards if its specifically a lingerie shower, instead of a general shower for either lingerie or something for the home. Seems a little double standard...
Posted by T&JJONES[/QUOTE]

While I've never heard anyone on this site say they are asking strictly for gift cards at their shower the point is said offenders did have an actual shower. Also if you are referencing lingerie or housewarming parties in which the honoree does in fact recieve lingerie and things for their home, respectively, I think that's a little different than asking for gift cards. And, again they threw an actual party, which is what this all really boils down to.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown · October 2010

I didn't have a shower. I'm still married. I didn't die because of it.

You're basically 1) ASKING people to give you a gift and 2) asking for 2 wedding gifts, really. If you're not hosting people, you're just asking them to send you a gift. In honor of your not-shower. Which is really for your wedding. They'll send you wedding gifts when the actual day rolls around.

Istremene · October 2010

OP, you asked for opinions or at least thoughts. Which to me implies opinions. If you wanted a simple yes or no then you should have stated that or written this as a survey. Disagreement does not equal bitchy.

connectican4life · January 2014

@T&JJones I know this is a conversation from nearly 4 years ago, but if you're still on here, I want you to know that I came across this thread from a google search and I was appalled at the responses you got to a simple desire for advice. I am glad you were able to hold your own on this conversation and stand up to all the trolls here. All they needed to do was politely say what they thought of your idea and that's it... not claim they know you enough to tell you how supposedly selfish you are. You did nothing wrong by asking what you did. God bless you and your marriage.

JCbride2015 · January 2014

connectican4life said:

@T&JJones I know this is a conversation from nearly 4 years ago, but if you're still on here, I want you to know that I came across this thread from a google search and I was appalled at the responses you got to a simple desire for advice. I am glad you were able to hold your own on this conversation and stand up to all the trolls here. All they needed to do was politely say what they thought of your idea and that's it... not claim they know you enough to tell you how supposedly selfish you are. You did nothing wrong by asking what you did. God bless you and your marriage.

So.... don't dig it back up. And I think you're confused about the definition of "troll."

This was fun reading, though.

kannf1982 · February 2014

A shower need not be a party where youre given gifts...if gifts arent practical, just have a shower that has no gifts. My aunt is throwing one for me (bc we dont want gifts) where everyone brings their favorite family recipe on a handwritten card, to be compiled in a book. It sends the message...THIS is the gift (a nice way to say NO gifts without saying it outright) and in your case this would be something that is easy to travel with. I think the most important part of a shower is to have a get together w friends and family before the wedding, gifts arent that important!!! Dont cut yourself out of having a shower just bc of the gift issue, You can still have the shower. OR if gifts is all youre after, then its for the wrong reasons and dont have one at all!

kannf1982 · February 2014

OH and youre not RUDE...i hate when people are just trying to figure out something nice for their weddings and people on here are all "YOURE RUDE!" "that would be "RUDE!"....ahh!!!

Look people, im sure most people here arent rude....are probably nice, considerate people, just trying to navigate this mess of wedding protocol society throws on us. no matter what ANYONE plans, it seems to be rude to SOMEBODY. I wish people could give other people advice without labeling them with these nasty adjectives....people you know nothing about and people who are most likely good people and who dont have insidious selfish motives in trying out different suggestions.

Lets say this woman goes forward with the gift card idea...is she RUDE?! no, its just different. maybe not preferable by most of you but she did give a reason...why should she be precluded from the 1000s of dollars in gifts most of you LOVED to take, just because she happens to live far away? I mean, lets get real, everyone who lives close to their relatives and doesnt have this conundrum just lucked out and has a way to get ton of presents without being "rude" even though they may in theory be more rude people in real life. As such, stop judging her, you dont know the person, just give her your reaction without labeling people!

I love how everyone is etiquette and decency police as to everyone else's weddings but then they think they're all perfect people. Be nice!

have a good day.

kmmssg · February 2014

kannf1982 said:

OH and youre not RUDE...i hate when people are just trying to figure out something nice for their weddings and people on here are all "YOURE RUDE!" "that would be "RUDE!"....ahh!!!

Look people, im sure most people here arent rude....are probably nice, considerate people, just trying to navigate this mess of wedding protocol society throws on us. no matter what ANYONE plans, it seems to be rude to SOMEBODY. I wish people could give other people advice without labeling them with these nasty adjectives....people you know nothing about and people who are most likely good people and who dont have insidious selfish motives in trying out different suggestions.

Lets say this woman goes forward with the gift card idea...is she RUDE?! no, its just different. maybe not preferable by most of you but she did give a reason...why should she be precluded from the 1000s of dollars in gifts most of you LOVED to take, just because she happens to live far away? I mean, lets get real, everyone who lives close to their relatives and doesnt have this conundrum just lucked out and has a way to get ton of presents without being "rude" even though they may in theory be more rude people in real life. As such, stop judging her, you dont know the person, just give her your reaction without labeling people!

I love how everyone is etiquette and decency police as to everyone else's weddings but then they think they're all perfect people. Be nice! have a good day.

Yes, it IS rude. We aren't going to validate rude ideas. There are things that are different that aren't rude. There are things, like OP's idea, that are different that ARE rude. She was given solid advice.

@knotporscha - zombie thread, close please?

Gift Card Bridal Shower

Re: Gift Card Bridal Shower

Choose Another Board

Search Boards