What is it with venues and cash bars???

grumbledore · February 2014

I just spoke to a venue (we have one but I was nervous and looking for a backup) that only offers a cash bar. Wtf is that about? Do they really just not get it?

labro · February 2014

That's insane. We weren't looking for a place that would offer a cash bar but all of the venues I visited were absolutely against it. It was always one of three choices.

1. Dry bar only - tea, coffee, soft drinks, water, etc.

2. Beer and wine only (from there you could do house beer/wine package or premium)

3. Full bar (house or premium)

grumbledore · February 2014

lmhollister said:

That's insane. We weren't looking for a place that would offer a cash bar but all of the venues I visited were absolutely against it. It was always one of three choices.

1. Dry bar only - tea, coffee, soft drinks, water, etc.

2. Beer and wine only (from there you could do house beer/wine package or premium)

3. Full bar (house or premium)

That's good. A few venues I talked to around here didn't even suggest a hosted bar. It's mind-boggling.

Ven&Radio · February 2014

The venue I used only allowed a hosted bar if alcohol was going to be served. I honestly don't remember encountering a venue where a cash bar was the only option.

Jen4948 · February 2014

Nope. They're in business-they're interested in profits, not politeness.

Amyzen83 · February 2014

Jen4948 said:
Nope. They're in business-they're interested in profits, not politeness.

This! They want to guarantee as much profit as possible at a big event and know that the hosts have a limited budget so why not suck the poor guests dry and if bride and grooms friendships are negatively impacted then that's their own problem to deal with. Off my soap box I go

Amyzen83 · February 2014

1st double post I've ever experienced!

lyndausvi · February 2014

Did they give you a reason? I've never worked for a place that required one or the other. Both are an option.

BrandNewJ · February 2014

Jen4948 said:

Nope. They're in business-they're interested in profits, not politeness.

You'd think they would realize they'd get more business as a wedding venue if they offered another option!

Jen4948 · February 2014

BrandNewJ said:

Jen4948 said:

Nope. They're in business-they're interested in profits, not politeness.

You'd think they would realize they'd get more business as a wedding venue if they offered another option!

Since when does "profits" and "intelligence" go together in the long-term? Think about Enron, or how this last recession got started.

Weesh · February 2014

My venue offered a package with an full open bar and a top shelf open bar. There was no cash bar option. I'm sure if I asked, I could have been given a price for a dry package. It's interesting that so many places offer a cash bar option, but you all make good points. Profit trumps politeness!

BrandNewJ · February 2014

Jen4948 said:

BrandNewJ said:

Jen4948 said:

Nope. They're in business-they're interested in profits, not politeness.

You'd think they would realize they'd get more business as a wedding venue if they offered another option!

Since when does "profits" and "intelligence" go together in the long-term? Think about Enron, or how this last recession got started.

Sadly, they don't go together

I'd hope they'd have one person on staff to suggest this though. Oh well!

WildMagelet · February 2014

I'm surprised. I've seen some places that *only* offer packages or consumption, but never talked to someone who insisted on cash-only.

lyndausvi · February 2014

It's rare that a venue is solely for weddings. Most do other types of events also. Charity events often have cash bars. Corporate functions seem to have a mix. For example, employee xmas party might be cash, but business incentive trip or conference more likely have open. Weddings in my world are always open.

Because of that most venues will have different options to fit their client's needs. Unless there is a legal reason for the policy I find it strange to require one or the other.

Fran1985 · February 2014

Are you sure they didn't have the option for the hosts to pay? My venue technically has a cash bar only option, but we are paying the tab. But they don't do an $XX per person option, its priced per drink served. I can't imagine why the venue would care who is actually paying the tab.

grumbledore · February 2014

I finally got the hosted bar option out of them after like 5 emails. It was weird. And it's only a consumption bar. They still wanted us to switch to cash after cocktail hour.

abbyj700 · February 2014

We looked at a venue (that actually had the cheapest bar prices I've ever seen per person!) and they highly suggested we do a cash bar. I kinda laughed at the lady (because this was the least of their worries as the place was a dump). She was like "we advise against doing per person because of how drunk everyone gets." I was going to tell her - we see our friends drink on their dime every weekend - charging them or not is not going to make a difference. I kinda wanted to tell her she is suggesting to all of her brides that they be rude...

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

I contacted close to 40 venues via phone and email, none of them ever mention doing a cash bar. All either had separate bar packages, or had a full open bar included in the price per person.

grumbledore · February 2014

Crazy, this is the second one to directly suggest it and one other only had a cash bar option. (The bar there is shared by three or four separate function rooms.)

Jen4948 · February 2014

grumbledore said:

Crazy, this is the second one to directly suggest it and one other only had a cash bar option. (The bar there is shared by three or four separate function rooms.)

How many venues are available to you? If you have more choices, definitely don't pick one of those two.

grumbledore · February 2014

Oh I'm not. We have a venue that meets all of my requirements, I just got nervous that we didn't have a backup plan in case anything goes wrong.

Fairyjen1 · February 2014

I only looked at a few venues, but all had the option to do cash or hosted. All were consumption based though. Disneyland has a cash or hosted option, but they have a per person dollar amount we can add onto our reception. We are doing a lunchtime reception so we're having wine, beer and soft drinks only.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

@grumbledore How were you thinking a back-up plan would work? We don't have a back-up plan either, but I'm not about to pay a deposit to keep something else open just in case. Or are you just particularly worried because of problems with your current venue?

Sabinus15 · February 2014

grumbledore said:

I just spoke to a venue (we have one but I was nervous and looking for a backup) that only offers a cash bar. Wtf is that about? Do they really just not get it?

Or maybe as some PP's have stated, in the real, non-wedding world, it's customary to have cash bars..? Why do weddings need to be SO different from any other social event? Do they really need their own set of etiquette rules? Just saying.

Inkdancer · February 2014

Sabinus15 said:

grumbledore said:

I just spoke to a venue (we have one but I was nervous and looking for a backup) that only offers a cash bar. Wtf is that about? Do they really just not get it?

Or maybe as some PP's have stated, in the real, non-wedding world, it's customary to have cash bars..? Why do weddings need to be SO different from any other social event? Do they really need their own set of etiquette rules? Just saying.

Weddings don't have their own set of rules. If you are hosting a party, you should provide food and drink for your guests.

If you were holding a fancy party to celebrate something, anything, and sent out an invitation, and then your guests arrived to discover that they were expected to pay for their food and drink, that would be immensely rude.

It's not like most weddings are "hey, drop by McFlinnigan's Irish Pub tonight if you want to hang!" These are not casual social gatherings. Months of planning go into them. It isn't that expensive to pay for your guests to have tea and lemonade, or soda, or anything that isn't paying for their own drinks.

There is no excuse for a cash bar at a formal event.

Sabinus15 · February 2014

Why can't you have a casual wedding though? I don't see that rule anywhere.

Inkdancer · February 2014

You absolutely can. You can get married privately, not invite anyone, and have an informal gathering later to celebrate your marriage.

But the second you invite anyone, you need to thank them for coming by hosting some kind of gathering-- cake and punch, dinner and drinks, something. It doesn't have to be expensive, but your guests can't be asked to pay for it.

Sabinus15 · February 2014

But what if you invite your friends and family a week ahead of time to a small wedding, and everyone eats out at a restaurant afterwards and the couple doesn't pay for everything. That sounds an awful lot like a lot of other informal events (baptisms/confirmations, birthdays, family reunions) that happen all the time and no one expects for one person to pay for everyone's meal. I'm just asking, what inherently makes a wedding so special that it needs it's own set of etiquette?

Jen4948 · February 2014

Sabinus15 said:

But what if you invite your friends and family a week ahead of time to a small wedding, and everyone eats out at a restaurant afterwards and the couple doesn't pay for everything. That sounds an awful lot like a lot of other informal events (baptisms/confirmations, birthdays, family reunions) that happen all the time and no one expects for one person to pay for everyone's meal. I'm just asking, what inherently makes a wedding so special that it needs it's own set of etiquette?

Doesn't matter how formal the occasion is-if you issue the invitation, you're responsible for picking up the tab, wedding or any other occasion.

lyndausvi · February 2014

Sabinus15 said:

grumbledore said:

I just spoke to a venue (we have one but I was nervous and looking for a backup) that only offers a cash bar. Wtf is that about? Do they really just not get it?

Or maybe as some PP's have stated, in the real, non-wedding world, it's customary to have cash bars..? Why do weddings need to be SO different from any other social event? Do they really need their own set of etiquette rules? Just saying.

There are differences between hosted and non-hosted events. Weddings or any personal party are hosted events. Charity events would not be. Business events may or may not be depending on the event and/or federal regulations (i.e. certain industries have restrictions when it comes to entertaining.)

lyndausvi · February 2014

Sabinus15 said:

But what if you invite your friends and family a week ahead of time to a small wedding, and everyone eats out at a restaurant afterwards and the couple doesn't pay for everything. That sounds an awful lot like a lot of other informal events (baptisms/confirmations, birthdays, family reunions) that happen all the time and no one expects for one person to pay for everyone's meal. I'm just asking, what inherently makes a wedding so special that it needs it's own set of etiquette?

Actually in my world you invite you pay. Doesn't matter what the event is.

What is it with venues and cash bars???

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