Holy Bad Etiquette! (Raising money!!!)

LDay2014 · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

kellirus@aol.com said:

After talking to both the Mother of the Groom and the Bride, I realize this is a regional thing and completely normal. I will be making several baskets to help out..... I had only ever heard of a JackandJill being a shared Bachelor and bachelorette party, so I had no point of reference as far as the fund raising aspect was concerned. I honestly thought I was crazy,,,,,, that may still be true, I only want what is best for the bride and groom and would gladly pay for anything they needed for the wedding, just being a southerner when I originally saw the email I was shocked since down here it’s a MAJOR faux pas to ask for money.

It may be "normal" for their social circle but it is still super rude.

What's good isn't what's always popular. What's popular isn't always good...they're atrocious

MobKaz · February 2014

Is there a quota? Do you get kicked out of the wedding party if you fail to sell a certain number of tickets?

crunchymamaof2 · February 2014

Another western mass(hole) here

. But unfortunately jack and Jill's are disgustingly common around here. Some with say the cover charge is simply to reimburse the host but it doesn't take a genius to figure out the truth. The person(s) throwing it get food and entertainment as cheap as possible- using friends and family for free labor or their connections. And of course the wedding party members and anyone else assigned to the task of creating baskets to be raffled off. One of the nastiest parts, IMO, is that some businesses will actually donate items to be raffled off. Then he entire town is "invited" to purchase tickets and the proceeds go to the bride and groom. You know to "help" them begin their live together. Gag me. OP it doesn't matter what the mothers said. There are many things wrong with these type of events. First, only those invited to the wedding should be invited to pre wedding events. Second, asking others to fund your wedding is so rude and wrong. Something being regional does not make it okay. Go with your gut feeling.

heathertims · February 2014

I don't like the idea of them at all, but I'm going to one in April...
They happen a lot in Ontario (apparently). We called our Bachlor/Bachlorette party a stag and doe (other name for Jack and Jill) not knowing that it was a fund raiser. We just wanted to have a nice night with our friends drinking together. Well we immediately clarified.

marshmallow1982 · February 2014

So is this even legal? I mean if there's gambling and its not for a registered charity, or is it just done in secret?

PhoneCardLady · February 2014

I thought a Jack & Jill shower was one where both attended the shower (sometimes guy received "guy things" - tools, ladder...)

Now as far as a Jack & Jill co-ed bachelor/bachelorette party - OMFG!!

Holy Bad Etiquette! (Raising money!!!)

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