Chit Chat

Need to Vent. - NWR

FI has an amazing family and was raised partially by his amazing grandparents.   Due to medical reasons his grandfather will have to be moved to an assisted living home soon. It's been hard on his grandmother because she had to make the decision.

There's one uncle/son in the family who's made himself the black sheep of the family (yes, made). He finds out dad's moving to the assisted living facility randomly (as he basically has no contact with the family unless he wants something) and now calls everyday telling his mom that  he 'wants Dad's this after he heads to the home, and then this, and then that.'

Who the F*ck does that!?!?!   I mean really, who calls their mom and demands certain things of their fathers while A) they're still alive and B) while the mom is obviously stressed/sad/trying to just deal with the whole situation.   FI's having a hard time with everything, but he mentioned that to me and I almost went off and wanted to call his A-hole and give him a piece of my mind. I mean really?!

Re: Need to Vent. - NWR

  • Wow! What a wretched little beggar! He should be supporting his mom not trying to whisk away his parents property. What a twat!
  • My adopted grandma (long story) lives in a home. One of her nieces with a lot of issues contacted her a month or so ago, whining that she was about to get kicked out of her apt (complex was owned by the niece's ex husband, after divorce he let her stay there for 15 years rent free, with agreement that if he ever sold the complex, she'd get a notice and the standard amount of time to find a new place), and had no where to go, as she has no money. Pretty sure she was fishing for grandma to offer to pay. Not happening.

    This niece and one nephew are constantly sniffing around grandma, hoping they'll get a good chunk of money at her death. The joke's on them- those of us who are supposed to get something under her will keep telling her to spend it on herself.

    There will likely be a shitstorm after grandma passes ( 92 and still stubborn), as I inherit her diamond engagement ring under the will, and she already gave it to me to be used as my ring (her words- "I'd rather see it on your finger as you get married to that wonderful young fellow of yours, than wait for me to die") We think the nephew will flip that the ring isn't staying in the bio family (never mind the fact that the stones came from an heirloom ring in his uncle by marriage's family, not his mom and aunt's family), and try something. I wish him luck, ain't happening.

  • people can be so greedy and terrible. sorry for your FI's grandma. this is tough. 
  • Wow. Who does that?   

    I actually Dh's aunt did something similar.  Scum of the earth.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Shitty people. That's who.

    DH's father is like that. Always wanting to talk about who gets what when granny dies. Little does he know that, under the will, he gets docked for all the times she has financially bailed him out over the years, so he gets no money and very little property that's worth anything (no stocks or jewellery or whatever).

    In one of the few times I have admired her, DH's grandmother said to me, '(Son) doesn't know I cut him out of the will, and I'm not going to tell him. By the time he figures it out, I'll be dead.' That statement I agreed with.

    Then she added, 'And then he'll be your problem.' Gee, thanks.

    But I don't get it. Do these people have NO shame?!
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Shitty people. That's who. DH's father is like that. Always wanting to talk about who gets what when granny dies. Little does he know that, under the will, he gets docked for all the times she has financially bailed him out over the years, so he gets no money and very little property that's worth anything (no stocks or jewellery or whatever). In one of the few times I have admired her, DH's grandmother said to me, '(Son) doesn't know I cut him out of the will, and I'm not going to tell him. By the time he figures it out, I'll be dead.' That statement I agreed with. Then she added, 'And then he'll be your problem.' Gee, thanks. But I don't get it. Do these people have NO shame?!
    @HisGirlFriday13 - absolutely none.   It's an entitlement thing.  FI's uncle thinks he's entitled to all this crap.  Like he some how earned it while he was the world's crappiest son.   I mean who thinks someone else's prized possessions that they spent THEIR life working to achieve belongs to them?  Or has the gull to demand them from them. 

    He didn't even go about it in a snively way by saying 'Wow, I've always loved Dad's so-and-so and I'm sure he'd want me to have them.'  Nope he was direct, 'I want this, and this, oh and Dad's this - I GET THEM! - nobody else.'  I guess that's the bonus in all of this?

  • Shitty people. That's who. DH's father is like that. Always wanting to talk about who gets what when granny dies. Little does he know that, under the will, he gets docked for all the times she has financially bailed him out over the years, so he gets no money and very little property that's worth anything (no stocks or jewellery or whatever). In one of the few times I have admired her, DH's grandmother said to me, '(Son) doesn't know I cut him out of the will, and I'm not going to tell him. By the time he figures it out, I'll be dead.' That statement I agreed with. Then she added, 'And then he'll be your problem.' Gee, thanks. But I don't get it. Do these people have NO shame?!
    doubt you hear this often, but "way to go grandma". 








    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • Seriously, some people are real scumbags. There's a special place in hell for them.
    ~*~*~*~*~

  • My aunt went and took a bunch of my grandpa's stuff after he died, while my grandma was still alive and using some of that stuff. And she flipped when she couldn't find his heirloom man's diamond ring (which he gave to my dad before he passed because he knew she would take it even though it was willed to my dad).

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  • Just go read my thread about needing a Pre-nup!
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  • lyndausvi said:



    Shitty people. That's who.

    DH's father is like that. Always wanting to talk about who gets what when granny dies. Little does he know that, under the will, he gets docked for all the times she has financially bailed him out over the years, so he gets no money and very little property that's worth anything (no stocks or jewellery or whatever).

    In one of the few times I have admired her, DH's grandmother said to me, '(Son) doesn't know I cut him out of the will, and I'm not going to tell him. By the time he figures it out, I'll be dead.' That statement I agreed with.

    Then she added, 'And then he'll be your problem.' Gee, thanks.

    But I don't get it. Do these people have NO shame?!

    doubt you hear this often, but "way to go grandma". 




    Yeah, I rarely hear that, but in this case, I'm on her side. (Or I was until the bullshit today went down). Why should she start a shit-storm with him when she's still alive when she coukd just avoid it until she's dead and gone? That's what I'd do!
    Anniversary

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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
  • Oh my gosh, that's really low.  I mean, it's already disgusting when people are fighting over possessions when a family member dies.  But when they're not even dead yet???? I hope he gets nothing.... ever.  Poor grandma.  She must be so overwhelmed.

    It's really gross how family members, who usually haven't even talked to the deceased in years, suddenly come out of nowhere when the person's will is at stake.

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  • Agreed.  My Mom does my Granny's finance's, as she's going blind, and told me last week how much she was worth.  I told DH that I hope she leaves it all to her cats (she has no cats, but he knows what I mean).  My Uncle is upset with the way that last family estate was handled (exactly by the wills, but he didn't like what was in them) and doesn't talk to us anymore (not even us kids who had nothing to do with the estate).  I have no desire to have another something similar happen again over money.

  • DH's grandma had an 6 figure annuity coming due.  Grandma only had 2 daughters. Grandma lived with MIL.   MIL had the POA.  DH's aunt called the insurance company trying to pose as MIL to cash in the annuity.  Lucky MIL warned the insurance company this might happen so there was security already in place.   Then she was demanding MIL split the annuity.   Really?   GRANDMA IS STILL ALIVE!   She needs the money for her own expenses.  Geez.

    Grandma had another policy that was to go equally to her 7 grandkids.   The aunt actually thought the policy should be split by 2 (her and MIL), then passed on to grand kids.  Since MIL has 4 kids and she has 3, her kids would get more of the cut of the pie.    No, grandma's intentions were clear, it was to be spilt equally among the grandkids.  MIL stuck by grandma and each grandkid got the same amount (that is how we got Chef D).

    Grandma as since passed away.   Aunt never got a dime.






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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