Engagement Parties Ideas??

Maggie0829 · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:
@AddieL73
Okay. Let me try and understand what you are saying:

If alcohol can't be afforded at a THANK YOU party then I shouldn't have it at all. So basically ETIQUETTE says I should tell my guests "Hey guys, sorry I can't afford alcohol for everyone and instead of being a RUDE host and making you pay for it it's going to be a WATER only event because that's free." Well that's a wedding I wouldn't go to.

And EXPLAINING to someone etiquette and talking shit about the way they want to do things are TWO completely different things.

Since @Maggie0829 @JCBride2014 @CMGragain @KatWAG & @JMallettas are ALL about etiquette I hope you a) are wearing white because you are in fact virgins b) don't live with your FI and c) your dad's are paying for everything as well as giving your FI and his family a wedding dowry. If not then get off your etiquette train and go harass someone about something that matters. Go protest equal human rights! Help girls in 3rd world countries get an education!! Don't worry about brides going against normal traditions. It's not worth the aneurysm.

You do realize that etiquette and tradition are not the same thing right? Etiquette is about treating your guests properly and making sure that they are comfortable which includes your guests not opening their wallets for anything. Having alcohol is not a necessity and should never be expected just like one shouldn't expect lobster and steak for their dinner. If you have the money to host an open bar or limited bar fabulous. If not it is not rude to have a dry wedding. But it is rude to offer something to your guest that they have to pay for. It would be like if you came to my house and I said "I have soda and tea and wine" and you pick wine and I say "well that will be $5."

Wearing white is not about virginity. Wearing white is actually a sign of wealth because wearing white back in the day wasn't smart because it would easily become dirty. Wearing it showed that you had the money to waste on a dress for a one time use.

And not living with your H before marriage and your Father paying a dowry are again traditions not etiquette.

esthergreene9 · February 2014

Why should I prove someone who can't BE NICE to complete strangers wrong? Why are your etiquettes more important than the way someone wants to do things?

Etiquette also says treat others how you would like to be treated.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

If you want to be rude to your guests then by all means go for it.

esthergreene9 · February 2014

@Maggie0829 I'd rather be rude to my guests than already have had my wedding, and TROLL sites like this and bash offbeat brides that like to be different then I hope life is worth it.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

OMG Maggie, you are such an old married hag!! What are you doing TROLLING on here? I bet your life SUX and I feel sorry for your poor suffering husband. #lol #troll #Idontwantanyusefuladvice

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

CMGragain said:

Troll? I think plentyofus is enjoying posting rude and outrageous things to see the reaction. Don't feed her. Someone who has so little regard for other people's feelings is not worth the time.

or regard toward grammar!

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:

@Maggie0829 I'd rather be rude to my guests than already have had my wedding, and TROLL sites like this and bash offbeat brides that like to be different then I hope life is worth it.

Wearing a colored dress=offbeat. Expecting your guest to pay for pieces of your reception=rude.

esthergreene9 · February 2014

(In as calm a voice as possible)

Okay. I get it. Etiquette says this. But why can't you all be nice when you explain it and accept that people have a difference of opinion? Why does it have to be a huge bashing thing?

Why can't you say, "Etiquette says that throwing your own engagement party is a no-no. So if you want to follow etiquette, then don't throw one, but wait and see if someone will host one for you."

Instead of how this thread has gone. I understand where you ladies are all coming from, but sometimes people will have a difference of opinion and may not want to follow etiquette. Some people may have family and friends who don't mind paying for a beverage at a wedding, because the bride and groom can't afford to. It could be the guests way of purchasing a drink as a gift to help the couple out.

Some people follow etiquette and traditions more so than others. I think that since it's 2014 everyone should realize that times have changed and not everyone is going to talk bad about you for doing something for yourself.

I'm done arguing and being petty on this site and thread. I've stated my thoughts in a fit of rage and frustration and this is my calm and attempt at peace-making final post.

Have a wonderful day and an amazing life.

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:

(In as calm a voice as possible)

Okay. I get it. Etiquette says this. But why can't you all be nice when you explain it and accept that people have a difference of opinion? Why does it have to be a huge bashing thing?

Why can't you say, "Etiquette says that throwing your own engagement party is a no-no. So if you want to follow etiquette, then don't throw one, but wait and see if someone will host one for you."

Instead of how this thread has gone. I understand where you ladies are all coming from, but sometimes people will have a difference of opinion and may not want to follow etiquette. Some people may have family and friends who don't mind paying for a beverage at a wedding, because the bride and groom can't afford to. It could be the guests way of purchasing a drink as a gift to help the couple out.

Some people follow etiquette and traditions more so than others. I think that since it's 2014 everyone should realize that times have changed and not everyone is going to talk bad about you for doing something for yourself.

I'm done arguing and being petty on this site and thread. I've stated my thoughts in a fit of rage and frustration and this is my calm and attempt at peace-making final post.

Have a wonderful day and an amazing life.

I appreciate your attempt to "make nice" with everything, but the bolded makes 0 sense.

MGP · February 2014

plentyofus said: LOL Please miss me with the whole "etiquette thing" Im not a person who really gives damn about other people opinions

I appreciated the ladies advice above but this is the way we are doing stuff.

Here's an idea - have KnotPorscha change your name to "plentyoftacky". Sounds a little more fitting.

esthergreene9 · February 2014

BMoreBride6 said:

esthergreene9 said:

(In as calm a voice as possible)

Okay. I get it. Etiquette says this. But why can't you all be nice when you explain it and accept that people have a difference of opinion? Why does it have to be a huge bashing thing?

Why can't you say, "Etiquette says that throwing your own engagement party is a no-no. So if you want to follow etiquette, then don't throw one, but wait and see if someone will host one for you."

Instead of how this thread has gone. I understand where you ladies are all coming from, but sometimes people will have a difference of opinion and may not want to follow etiquette. Some people may have family and friends who don't mind paying for a beverage at a wedding, because the bride and groom can't afford to. It could be the guests way of purchasing a drink as a gift to help the couple out.

Some people follow etiquette and traditions more so than others. I think that since it's 2014 everyone should realize that times have changed and not everyone is going to talk bad about you for doing something for yourself.

I'm done arguing and being petty on this site and thread. I've stated my thoughts in a fit of rage and frustration and this is my calm and attempt at peace-making final post.

Have a wonderful day and an amazing life.

I appreciate your attempt to "make nice" with everything, but the bolded makes 0 sense.

How does it not make sense? If the guests are okay with purchasing a drink then it would be their way of helping the bride and groom out who can't afford too.

I am sorry that you ladies cannot look past people doing things their own way.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

@esthergreene9 By that logic, it would be OK to have guests pay for their own meal. Or serve pasta and say, "It's $5 extra for chicken if you'd like to help us out." Or ask your guests for a $25 check to help offset the cost of the flowers or photographer.

The idea of hosting a wedding reception is to put the guests' comfort first. This means, plain and simple, guests cannot be asked to open their wallet.

Now if family or friends offer to help out, of course the B&G can accept help. That's the only way guests should be expected to help (financially or otherwise) with the wedding-- if they offer.

Bottom line, just host the party you can afford. If that's cake and punch in the church hall at 2pm, great! If it's a full top-shelf open bar and dinner at 6pm, also great! But don't expect guests to open their wallets at an event that is hosted for them.

Nobody is trying to attack you or OP. But whatever we are saying here, at least some guests will be thinking or saying behind the couple's back. It's better to get honest opinions here than damage relationships with friends and family.

MobKaz · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

esthergreene9 said:

(In as calm a voice as possible)

Okay. I get it. Etiquette says this. But why can't you all be nice when you explain it and accept that people have a difference of opinion? Why does it have to be a huge bashing thing?

Why can't you say, "Etiquette says that throwing your own engagement party is a no-no. So if you want to follow etiquette, then don't throw one, but wait and see if someone will host one for you."

Instead of how this thread has gone. I understand where you ladies are all coming from, but sometimes people will have a difference of opinion and may not want to follow etiquette. Some people may have family and friends who don't mind paying for a beverage at a wedding, because the bride and groom can't afford to. It could be the guests way of purchasing a drink as a gift to help the couple out.

Some people follow etiquette and traditions more so than others. I think that since it's 2014 everyone should realize that times have changed and not everyone is going to talk bad about you for doing something for yourself.

I'm done arguing and being petty on this site and thread. I've stated my thoughts in a fit of rage and frustration and this is my calm and attempt at peace-making final post.

Have a wonderful day and an amazing life.

I appreciate your attempt to "make nice" with everything, but the bolded makes 0 sense.

How does it not make sense? If the guests are okay with purchasing a drink then it would be their way of helping the bride and groom out who can't afford too.

I am sorry that you ladies cannot look past people doing things their own way.

When doing things "your own way" is the wrong way, it will be pointed out. You may not care about how you treat your guests, but we will continue to point out the errors of your etiquette in the hopes that lurkers will have better manners.

MGP · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:
How does it not make sense? If the guests are okay with purchasing a drink then it would be their way of helping the bride and groom out who can't afford too.

I am sorry that you ladies cannot look past people doing things their own way.

How is a guest paying for their own drinks helping the bride and groom? Seriously I would love to hear your logic.

mimiphin · February 2014

BMoreBride6 said:

CMGragain said:

Troll? I think plentyofus is enjoying posting rude and outrageous things to see the reaction. Don't feed her. Someone who has so little regard for other people's feelings is not worth the time.

or regard toward grammar!

I wonder if she is related to the dating site PlentyofFish??

Maggie0829 · February 2014

@esthergreene9 - I always start out nice. But it is when posters like you and others start calling us names and telling us old married hags to get a life and get off this site when the niceties that I begin with quickly disappear. Do you see how long this thread is? Have you read the entire thing and maybe noted that it was brand new posters that haven't got a clue about wedding planning that start the name calling?

Did you ever consider that maybe I just really love weddings and talking about weddings? Maybe I like to help other brides out since you know, I have been there, done that? But I guess you really didn't think about those things huh? Maybe you would rather just have novice brides giving other novice brides advice, kind of like the blind leading the blind. I didn't realize that once I was married that I no longer could be interested in weddings or the planning process. Better tell all those wedding planners and bridal salon owners that are married to get out of the business.

BMoreBride6 · February 2014

esthergreene9 said:

BMoreBride6 said:

esthergreene9 said:

(In as calm a voice as possible)

Okay. I get it. Etiquette says this. But why can't you all be nice when you explain it and accept that people have a difference of opinion? Why does it have to be a huge bashing thing?

Why can't you say, "Etiquette says that throwing your own engagement party is a no-no. So if you want to follow etiquette, then don't throw one, but wait and see if someone will host one for you."

Instead of how this thread has gone. I understand where you ladies are all coming from, but sometimes people will have a difference of opinion and may not want to follow etiquette. Some people may have family and friends who don't mind paying for a beverage at a wedding, because the bride and groom can't afford to. It could be the guests way of purchasing a drink as a gift to help the couple out.

Some people follow etiquette and traditions more so than others. I think that since it's 2014 everyone should realize that times have changed and not everyone is going to talk bad about you for doing something for yourself.

I'm done arguing and being petty on this site and thread. I've stated my thoughts in a fit of rage and frustration and this is my calm and attempt at peace-making final post.

Have a wonderful day and an amazing life.

I appreciate your attempt to "make nice" with everything, but the bolded makes 0 sense.

How does it not make sense? If the guests are okay with purchasing a drink then it would be their way of helping the bride and groom out who can't afford too.

I am sorry that you ladies cannot look past people doing things their own way.

Perhaps you could also set up a jar on the tables for people to put money in, to pay for your centerpieces? Or even better, have someone go around the tables and tell each table that you hoped they enjoy the centerpieces, if they would like to keep them on the table they need to pay X amount or they must be removed.

AddieCake · February 2014

I am so tired of people appointing themselves the deciders of what is a "nice" way to post and what is not. How come the allegedly "not nice" people can't declare themselves "offbeat" like rude idea havers can?

JennyColada · February 2014

I hope that I have a daughter someday and that she gets married, so that way I can plan an engagement party, because they do seem quite fun and exciting.

MollyandD · February 2014

I went to a beautiful wedding once, though I regretted it as soon as I left my house. I was invited alone, and my live in boyfriend, now fiancé, was not invited. I had been invited to three gift-giving events prior to the wedding, and my best friend had been invited to those in addition to three or so other showers for the same bride. The reception was stunning and gorgeous. I don't drink, but my best friend and her husband decided to get a drink from the cash bar. We talked about how tacky it was to have a cash bar, have like thirty showers with the same guests, and to not invite my significant other. But when we saw the bride, we congratulated her, smiled, and told her all about how amazing her wedding looked. We did not lie, we just omitted the negative (lots of negative) things we were thinking. We did not want to be rude and point out anything to her. Besides, it didn't matter at that point. There's no way we were the only guests that felt that way, but what good guest will actually say something to the hostess during an event? In truth, we felt like we were just props to help her have a good day and pictures full of people. We did not feel like she gave a crap about us.

MollyandD · February 2014

I don't know why it's not separating my paragraphs. I put them in and tried three times to edit it. Sorry.

JoyceDavid · February 2014

I loved your idea. I would have done the same. Forest preserve is a great place.

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