@PrettyGirlLost: fair point. I'm talking really minor, nit-picky stuff, though, like being at a black tie bar mitzvah and giving the kids a buffet instead of the four-course meal the adults are getting (because the 12 and 13 yo kids generally do not have the patience or the interest to sit through a bunch of courses when there's a caricature artist in one corner and a sticker photo booth in another). But this is about weddings, not bar mitzvahs. Speaking of which...
@BlueBirdMB: I am Jewish. All of the weddings I've attended, save for one, have been Jewish. Many orthodox and even some conservative rabbis will not perform a ceremony on Saturday. Many Jews will not have a wedding on a Saturday even after Shabbat is over because a) the really Orthodox will not be able to do anything prior to the sundown and b) it can be really, really late by that time. I can tell you for a fact that, at least here in Los Angeles, a Sunday wedding is a zillion times more typical than a Saturday wedding. Saturdays are pretty much exclusively reform weddings. Which is totally fine--it's just not fair to eliminate an entire group from being able to go black tie for religious reasons.
Also, Pinterest? I know it's become kind of a hot mess recently, but I pretty much always look to Pinterest for interesting ideas (although I would never go down the burlap-and-mason-jar road), and I definitely encouraged my decision-phobic cousin to look there when she was planning her wedding to get a feel for what kind of flowers, cake, etc. interested her.
If your wedding is on a Sunday (or any other day that isn't Saturday).
Yeah, no. Jewish people often have Sunday or even Thursday black tie weddings due to the Sabbath. It's ridiculous to say an entire sub-set of our culture can't have a black tie wedding because their religion does not allow weddings on the Sabbath which is from sundown Friday to sundown Saturday.
If you are Orthodox you can't even prepare for the wedding during the Sabbath. For example, not allowed to drive a car, not allow to preform any type of business transactions (ie. can't sign the credit card receipt or exchange money), not allowed to even plug in a curling iron among other things. It would be nearly impossible to have a Saturday night wedding in the summertime when sundown is after 8pm.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
I went to a Jewish wedding on a Sunday which my friend said was common in order to avoid having a wedding on the sabbath day. I think it could still be black tie if done correctly.
Jewish weddings that are black tie- I attended once years ago- are done on Saturday night after sundown.
That can be difficult though, since it's the sabbath until three (I believe) stars are seen. In the summer, that would mean the wedding would need to start after 9:30pm if it was on a Saturday.
Ok, everyone, I'm Jewish too. Yes, I've attended weddings on Sundays. But I've also attended weddings on Saturday night that were Conservative. I didn't mean to say that all black tie Jewish weddings are on Saturday night, I meant that they CAN be done on Saturday night. Yes, I suppose if you are Orthodox, you probably wouldn't have a Saturday night wedding. Everyone Jewish person I know who has had a black tie wedding (I only attended one, but I know others who have had them) were on Saturday nights.
Of course black tie weddings being on a Saturday night only, is silly. It makes no particular sense.
If the invitations contain gift registries. If there are "in lieu of favors" notes on the tables. If there are any announcements about what charities and causes the couple supports.
If the invitations use anything other than traditional wording, especially if they are trying to be "funny," "cute," "clever," "unique," or "original."
Re: Your wedding is NOT black tie if. . .
That can be difficult though, since it's the sabbath until three (I believe) stars are seen. In the summer, that would mean the wedding would need to start after 9:30pm if it was on a Saturday.
If there are "in lieu of favors" notes on the tables.
If there are any announcements about what charities and causes the couple supports.
It's not black tie if your "something borrowed" and "something old" isn't at least 100 years old from somebody royal.
Have a PPD. Black tie of course.
lmfao