Is your FI/DH your best friend?

afox007 · February 2014

FI and I went out to dinner last weekend with my friend and her FI. At some point FI made a comment about how lucky he was to get to marry his best friend. As soon as I agreed my friend got all upset because she is my best friend he's my FI and there is a huge difference. She ended her rant saying that if marriage was about being with your best friend the two of us should just go get married. SO just to make sure FI and I aren't insane how many of you lovely ladies are marrying/married to your best friend.

afox007 · February 2014

@ TwoDimes I agree, but I didn't have the heart to tell my friend she is in a deadlocked tie with Chardonnay!

PolarBearFitz · February 2014

My FI and I happen to be best friends. I don't think it's one of those things that is true of everyone though. I have my really close group of lady friends but I think the friendship I have with my FI is exclusive and different than my girl friendships.

He knows me at my worst and best. We have been through so much together that we have a bond that I haven't had with any other friend. We have best friends that are external to our relationship but he is still the best of the best. He is my life-long forever friend. Not to say that my girl friends are not as I hope to be playing tag in our scooters when we turn 80 together but still it's different.

PolarBearFitz · February 2014

afox007 said:

@ TwoDimes I agree, but I didn't have the heart to tell my friend she is in a deadlocked tie with Chardonnay!

@afox007 - I recently discovered Chardonnay and it is also in the running.

FiancB · February 2014

I think it's kind of hard to compare the two. Up til now, my best friend was my best friend and that was it. We have drifted somewhat though because I moved out of state 3 years ago. So I probably would consider FI my best friend at this point.

In the end, it's just a label. I have lots of best friends, friends that are each the best for their own different reasons. It doesn't mean I like one person more than the other. I'm having a really hard time picking a MOH because I don't have one female friend that is more important to me than another. One is great to hang out with, but can be flaky. Another I have less in common with but is super helpful and gives great advice. FI is a whole 'nother realm.

JCbride2015 · February 2014

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.

cupcait927 · February 2014

I answered that my only bff is wine (because really, how could it not be?) but yes, FI is my best friend. We're so much the same person sometimes but yet different enough to balance one another out. Like @polarbeartfitz said, FI is my life-long forever friend. I have my girl bffs and I love them dearly but with FI it's different. I tell him EVERYTHING and he does the same with me. When he bought my engagement ring he was freaking out because he was sure I would find out and was telling his mom that it was going to be so hard to not tell me that he bought it because he tells me everything.

Jells2dot0 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.

THIS! I am certainly extremely close with my DH and he probably knows me better than most of my friends, but noone can ever take the place of my closest girl friends. To me, it's comparing apples and oranges, or perhaps wine and tequila.

KeptInStitches · February 2014

I have a BFF. I have a BF. My relationships with both of them are equally important to me (possibly the only people I'm as close to are my parents and my brother), but they are different. Do I tell my BF things I don't tell my BFF? Yes, and the opposite is true.

It's like the difference between friend-love and romantic love. I'm head over heels in friend love with my BFF. I'm head over heels in romantic love with my BF.

So yes and no?

JCbride2015 · February 2014

KeptInStitches said:

I have a BFF. I have a BF. My relationships with both of them are equally important to me (possibly the only people I'm as close to are my parents and my brother), but they are different. Do I tell my BF things I don't tell my BFF? Yes, and the opposite is true.

It's like the difference between friend-love and romantic love. I'm head over heels in friend love with my BFF. I'm head over heels in romantic love with my BF.

So yes and no?

Yes! This exactly. I love my two best friends head over heels, I love Fi head over heels, it's just not the same.

Probably the way I've heard new parents say they never thought they could love anyone more than their spouse, until their child comes along. It's just different kinds of love.

ChemFanatic25 · February 2014

afox007 said:

FI and I went out to dinner last weekend with my friend and her FI. At some point FI made a comment about how lucky he was to get to marry his best friend. As soon as I agreed my friend got all upset because she is my best friend he's my FI and there is a huge difference. She ended her rant saying that if marriage was about being with your best friend the two of us should just go get married. SO just to make sure FI and I aren't insane how many of you lovely ladies are marrying/married to your best friend.

If I could I totally would marry my best friend but she is already taken. Her fiance swept her off her feet. We have agreed that we have dibs on one another if anything goes awry though. lol

JCbride2015 · February 2014

ChemFanatic25 said:

afox007 said:

FI and I went out to dinner last weekend with my friend and her FI. At some point FI made a comment about how lucky he was to get to marry his best friend. As soon as I agreed my friend got all upset because she is my best friend he's my FI and there is a huge difference. She ended her rant saying that if marriage was about being with your best friend the two of us should just go get married. SO just to make sure FI and I aren't insane how many of you lovely ladies are marrying/married to your best friend.

If I could I totally would marry my best friend but she is already taken. Her fiance swept her off her feet. We have agreed that we have dibs on one another if anything goes awry though. lol

Hahaha! One of my best friends is lesbian, but I'm totally not her type. Oh well.

sarahufl · February 2014

Jells2dot0 said:

JCBride2014 said:

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.
THIS! I am certainly extremely close with my DH and he probably knows me better than most of my friends, but noone can ever take the place of my closest girl friends. To me, it's comparing apples and oranges, or perhaps wine and tequila.

Pretty much. FI and I just have a different relationship than my female BFFs. IMO, you need that distinction!

climbingsingle · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.

Totally 100% agree. Yes, my FI is a best friend, in a sense. But my other best friend is my best friend in a different way. We've been best friends for 20 years. She knows me better than anyone on the planet. She's seen me through some crazy shit.

FI (I hate to sound cheesy) is my soul mate. He's more than just a best friend.

afox007 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

KeptInStitches said:

I have a BFF. I have a BF. My relationships with both of them are equally important to me (possibly the only people I'm as close to are my parents and my brother), but they are different. Do I tell my BF things I don't tell my BFF? Yes, and the opposite is true.

It's like the difference between friend-love and romantic love. I'm head over heels in friend love with my BFF. I'm head over heels in romantic love with my BF.

So yes and no?

Yes! This exactly. I love my two best friends head over heels, I love Fi head over heels, it's just not the same.

Probably the way I've heard new parents say they never thought they could love anyone more than their spouse, until their child comes along. It's just different kinds of love.

Grrrr apparently I can't add this as an option now that the poll started, but I agree this is more what I thought when she said anything. Where were you ladies that night?! I had a few too many drinks and could not explain this to her then.

pinkshorts27 · February 2014

KeptInStitches said:

I have a BFF. I have a BF. My relationships with both of them are equally important to me (possibly the only people I'm as close to are my parents and my brother), but they are different. Do I tell my BF things I don't tell my BFF? Yes, and the opposite is true.

It's like the difference between friend-love and romantic love. I'm head over heels in friend love with my BFF. I'm head over heels in romantic love with my BF.

So yes and no?

This exactly, but I call my FI my best friend and I call my best girl friend my best friend. They fill different parts of my life but both are my best friends. Just in different ways.

Blergbot · February 2014

I have some very close friends, whom I might refer to as "one of my closest friends," but FI is my best friend...although previous to FI, I would have said my MOM is my best friend. She still kind of is...I guess i have two, and they're both people who have other very important roles in my life.

chibiyui · February 2014

My FI is my BFF I want to fuck . My other BFFs I do not want to fuck.

There are other nuances, but thats the big difference.

smalfrie19 · February 2014

I feel like its a really hard question to answer for me. I love my FI and he is one of the people I am closest too... and we really enjoy doing things together. However, I also have some VERY close girlfriends who I also consider my "Best friends" that I can talk to about things that FI doesn't care about or has no interest.

doeydo · February 2014

If it had been chocolate instead of wine, I might have had to think about it a little more, just kidding.

afox007 · February 2014

Love the Lucy gif!!!

SmileDamnit · February 2014

KeptInStitches said:

I have a BFF. I have a BF. My relationships with both of them are equally important to me (possibly the only people I'm as close to are my parents and my brother), but they are different. Do I tell my BF things I don't tell my BFF? Yes, and the opposite is true.

It's like the difference between friend-love and romantic love. I'm head over heels in friend love with my BFF. I'm head over heels in romantic love with my BF.

So yes and no?

Double ditto this.

My FI is the one I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with and wake up next to every single morning and share adventures and dreams and babies with. My BF is the one I want to dress up and watch the Oscars with and text gossip about stupid people on FB. I love them both fierce, and quite differently.

pumpkinsandturkeys · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.

This, exactly. I'm closest to FI for sure, and I do share everything with him -- just in a different manner than I do with my best friends. He could never replace the people I've known for 15 - 20 years, nor would he want to.

I think it's important to have a balance, and have close friends outside of your relationship. I'm not saying that FI being your best friend is a bad thing, but it's good to have other "best friends" other than your partner/spouse to provide a different perspective.

emmyg65 · February 2014

Nope. I have a husband and a best friend. They're different people. They're both the most important people in my life. But they fulfill me in very different ways. Also, I could never marry my actual best friend because she drives me a bit batty.

It's actually a pet peeve of mine when people say they're married to their best friend.

Peaseblossom55 · February 2014

JCBride2014 said:

I didn't vote because I don't feel either option gets what I'm saying. There's no spot of best friend to "fill," Fi is just different.

I really hate the expression "marrying my best friend." Fi is closer to me than my best friends, yes. But he is not "my best friend." Our relationship is completely different than the relationship I have with my friends!

That expression seems to sap the passion out of a relationship for me.

I voted for wine. I was trying to word how I feel about FI and I couldn't really. He is so much more than a BFF to be. What is said above is I agree with.

HobokensFury · February 2014

Yes and no. DH is my best friend but our relationship is very different from that of my other "best friend".

Cookie Pusher · February 2014

FI and I were best friends for a while before we started dating, but wine is a really close second.

jdluvr06 · February 2014

I've been asked this before and I always get a strange look for my answer. I'm lucky enough to have two very important awesome men in my life who fulfill different needs for me. My FI and BFF.

pinkshorts27 · February 2014

I think is it all in how you define "Best Friend". I have known FI the longest (aside from family) of all of my closer friends. He also knows me the best.

If I needed to hide a body, I would go to FI first. I wouldn't hide anything from him. If he would busy, then I would go to my girl best friend. Though I do have things I just share with her (girly movies, nails, wine!, gossip, etc.). FI hates to gossip. He can make me laugh, but my GBF (girl best friend) fills a different need in my life. I think they are both equally important to my happiness (could not be fulfilled by just one), but if I had to chose one I would chose my FI.

jenniferurs · February 2014

emmyg65 said:
Nope. I have a husband and a best friend. They're different people. They're both the most important people in my life. But they fulfill me in very different ways. Also, I could never marry my actual best friend because she drives me a bit batty.

It's actually a pet peeve of mine when people say they're married to their best friend.

Why would that be a pet peeve of yours? Just because you don't view your husband to be your best friend doesn't mean that others don't view theirs to be.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

PolarBearFitz said:

My FI and I happen to be best friends. I don't think it's one of those things that is true of everyone though. I have my really close group of lady friends but I think the friendship I have with my FI is exclusive and different than my girl friendships.

He knows me at my worst and best. We have been through so much together that we have a bond that I haven't had with any other friend. We have best friends that are external to our relationship but he is still the best of the best. He is my life-long forever friend. Not to say that my girl friends are not as I hope to be playing tag in our scooters when we turn 80 together but still it's different.

I agree with this. I have many Best Friends. . . my relationship is a bit different with each one, but I can count on each and everyone to help me hide a body and then remove all trace evidence.

Is your FI/DH your best friend?

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