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HELP!incorpurating a child into the big day

slongo87slongo87 member
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in Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum
OK so I am not the most traditional person, however my fiance is. We are getting married at a catholic church. I have a daughter (age 6) from a previous relationship (no marriage) and her father is deceased. She calls my fiance daddy and he plans on officially adopting her after the wedding. We really want to include her in the wedding but not sure how we can do this in the catholic church. Any suggestions/help would be great!! thanks so much!!

 

 

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Re: HELP!incorpurating a child into the big day

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    KatWAGKatWAG member
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    Can she be a flower girl?

    BabyFruit Ticker
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    Maggie0829Maggie0829 member
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    Flower girl.

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    doeydodoeydo member
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    edited February 2014
    Flower girl, ring bearer, or bridesmaid.
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    AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    Ditto PPs. Flower girl, reader, or bridesmaid. I suspect you're looking for a way to have her participate in vows or something, though. And the answer is that that would not be appropriate.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    artbyallieartbyallie mod
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    AddieL73 said:
    Ditto PPs. Flower girl, reader, or bridesmaid. I suspect you're looking for a way to have her participate in vows or something, though. And the answer is that that would not be appropriate.
    Never mind that I doubt any Catholic priest would be willing or able to alter the wedding Mass to do so.

    @HisGirlFriday13, I bet you could tell me if I'm right.
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    Jen4948Jen4948 member
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    She can be a flower girl, bridesmaid, or reader.   But aside from whether or not a Catholic priest will allow your daughter to say vows, it wouldn't be appropriate.  She has no say over whether or not you're getting married, so she should not say vows or have any said to her.

    Some things in your wedding need to stay just you and your FI.
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    MobKazMobKaz member
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    artbyallie said:
    AddieL73 said:
    Ditto PPs. Flower girl, reader, or bridesmaid. I suspect you're looking for a way to have her participate in vows or something, though. And the answer is that that would not be appropriate.
    Never mind that I doubt any Catholic priest would be willing or able to alter the wedding Mass to do so.

    @HisGirlFriday13, I bet you could tell me if I'm right.
    The exchange of vows in a Catholic ceremony speak to the heart of the Sacrament.  There is little to no personalizing of these vows.  It is possible the priest can offer a family blessing at the end of Mass.  
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    HisGirlFriday13HisGirlFriday13 member
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    @artbyallie and @mobkaz are right; Your daughter can be a ring bearer or flower girl, or even maid of honour, but no priest will perform a ceremony that includes her in any central way.

    You can ask him to say a special family blessing at the end of the Mass if you like, and that would be fine. But she can't participate in your vows in any way, shape, or form.
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    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
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    OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom member
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    slongo87 said:
    OK so I am not the most traditional person, however my fiance is. We are getting married at a catholic church. I have a daughter (age 6) from a previous relationship (no marriage) and her father is deceased. She calls my fiance daddy and he plans on officially adopting her after the wedding. We really want to include her in the wedding but not sure how we can do this in the catholic church. Any suggestions/help would be great!! thanks so much!!
    So this was basically my sister's situation for her wedding in October.  My niece calls my BIL dad and has for many years now.  My niece was my sister's Maiden of Honor.  So she got to stand up at the front of the church while the vows were said, along with me (MOH) and the BM.  My niece is also a little older (10 at the time), but I know she enjoyed being "apart" of the vows, even though with the Catholic ceremony, there is no deviation from form.
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