Wedding Etiquette Forum

Inconsiderate Venue Choice?

My fiance and I are still looking for a venue, we have probably looked at 10 or more spaces at this point and we are burnt out.

Some of our favorites have been downtown Portland, Oregon. We live about 20 minutes outside the city. My mother has mentioned multiple times that she is concerned about people being comfortable driving downtown, parking, and the overall stress a big city can bring to those who aren't used to it.

We have also looked at several golf clubs and outdoor venues that have ample guest parking. My Mom feels that one of these venues would be a better option because it is easier for guests to find, they can park quickly and are less likely to get lost or be late from navigating one way city streets.

We do have a few elderly guests but they would most likely be riding with other family members. I can think of a few groups of people that probably don't drive in the city very often, but otherwise it seems everybody would be fine. I work downtown, walking distance from most of the venues. I commute every day and I'm totally used to it, so I feel like my opinion is a bit invalid here.

What do you ladies think? Mom is helping to pay a portion, but she certainly isn't holding that over us. She wants it to be our decision, but now that she has mentioned this potential issue I am paranoid to commit to a city venue. Our favorite downtown venu is also significantly cheaper than the estate/golf club venues we liked.

Thanks in advance!

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Re: Inconsiderate Venue Choice?

  • Can you pay for valet or hire a shuttle from the hotel? I think your mother has a valid point, but not a deal breaking one.
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  • I think the number of guests here will be a dealbreaker. If 200 people are trying to find parking downtown, that could cause problems. If 30 people are trying to find parking downtown, I'd be less worried about it.

    I would recommend doing a shuttle from the hotel where you have your room block. It could make all the difference in the world if you have a number of out of town guests who aren't familiar with Portland.
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  • We won't be having any OOT guests, so the only hotel room we will need is for the bridal party to get ready. There are multiple hotels just a block or two from the venue, we would probably just foot it or take the street car.

    The downtown venue does not have its own designating parking garage/lot. Guests would be on their own to find parking curbside in the area or use a parking garage on that street. I don't believe the parking garages offer valet since they serve the entire area and wouldn't reserve spaces.

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  • Inkdancer said:

    I think the number of guests here will be a dealbreaker. If 200 people are trying to find parking downtown, that could cause problems. If 30 people are trying to find parking downtown, I'd be less worried about it.

    I would recommend doing a shuttle from the hotel where you have your room block. It could make all the difference in the world if you have a number of out of town guests who aren't familiar with Portland.

    This! I would also choose a venue based on proximity to the ceremony site. If they are in the same building then I'd go on what works best with your budget and can accommodate the qty of guests. If your ceremony venue is in the city than it's better to have reception venue in the city rather than making your guests drive a distance to get to the reception site.
  • edited February 2014

    Also, we are inviting about 150.  Ceremony and reception will be in the same space.

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  • TilaT25 said:

    Also, we are inviting about 150.  Ceremony and reception will be in the same space.

    Okay, so 150 people are going to all need parking? I think I'd try to talk to the venue and see if there's an arrangement people usually make-- a nearby garage, or something, because that's a lot of cars to try to fit downtown.
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  • I don't think it is inconsiderate or a deal breaker, unless people will have to pay $20 or something outlandish to park their cars.
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  • It won't be 150 cars, probably more like 60 accounting for family groups and couples. The parking garages are massive, some are 14 stories and there are several within a block from the venue. Thousands of people park downtown everyday. Having enough room to park won't be an issue, especially on a Saturday.

    The commerical garages do not offer valet. Only valet parking in the area is attached to the hotels and you have to be a guest. Parking would probably be about $3/hr on a Saturday night.

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  • edited February 2014
    I think it is inconsiderate to make guests pay for their own parking. I also see it as a problem if there is not designated lot and they have to find it on their own. Not only do they have to find the venue, then they have to drive around tip they find a spot, then they have to have change for a meter or cash for a garage, and then they have to find their way back to the venue on foot.

    Sorry, but with all the info I'm going to agree with mom or say you need to find a way to provide free valet service.

    Or pay for the garage. They typically can sell you validated passes you can give guests at the wedding. My brother did this.
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  • How much is the parking?

    I also don't think this is a big deal, but you might want to include an insert with your invitations that explains the parking situation.
  • TilaT25 said:

    It won't be 150 cars, probably more like 60 accounting for family groups and couples. The parking garages are massive, some are 14 stories and there are several within a block from the venue. Thousands of people park downtown everyday. Having enough room to park won't be an issue, especially on a Saturday.

    The commerical garages do not offer valet. Only valet parking in the area is attached to the hotels and you have to be a guest. Parking would probably be about $3/hr on a Saturday night.

    The garage situation sounds fine to me. As a guest, I would not expect the bride and groom to pay for my parking.

    How long will the wedding and reception be? 4 or 5 hours?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I think if you want this venue then you should pay for everyone's parking.  Try to set something up with one of the garages and than add an insert with your invites. It's one thing to have to pay for parking if people are staying overnight in a hotel, but no one should have to pay for parking just to attend your wedding.
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  • It won't be 150 cars, probably more like 60 accounting for family groups and couples. The parking garages are massive, some are 14 stories and there are several within a block from the venue. Thousands of people park downtown everyday. Having enough room to park won't be an issue, especially on a Saturday.

    The commerical garages do not offer valet. Only valet parking in the area is attached to the hotels and you have to be a guest. Parking would probably be about $3/hr on a Saturday night.

    The garage situation sounds fine to me. As a guest, I would not expect the bride and groom to pay for my parking. How long will the wedding and reception be? 4 or 5 hours?
    As a guest, I would expect a wedding venue to have parking. I rarely have cash on me, so I would be in a bind if I had to pay $18 to park. I'd need to be there 30 mins early, plus the ceremony and reception, so I'm guessing at least 6 hours at $3/ hour. To me it goes along the same lines as I shouldn't have to open my wallet at the wedding, but that's JMHO :)
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  • I'm in Portland, too! I'm also getting married downtown. We chose the World Trade Center Portland because of the river view and because they have an onsite parking garage where we can arrange to host parking. What venues are you looking at?

    I don't think parking is an issue downtown because there are so many garages. I would make sure to include an insert or include on your website the directions to the closest parking garage to your venue. I would also at least attempt to host the parking if possible. Also what time does your wedding start? Parking in the afternoon and evening should be fine, it's only once nighttime hits and people come downtown to party that I think there might be any issue.



  • TilaT25 said:

    It won't be 150 cars, probably more like 60 accounting for family groups and couples. The parking garages are massive, some are 14 stories and there are several within a block from the venue. Thousands of people park downtown everyday. Having enough room to park won't be an issue, especially on a Saturday.

    The commerical garages do not offer valet. Only valet parking in the area is attached to the hotels and you have to be a guest. Parking would probably be about $3/hr on a Saturday night.

    The garage situation sounds fine to me. As a guest, I would not expect the bride and groom to pay for my parking.

    How long will the wedding and reception be? 4 or 5 hours?

    As a guest, I would expect a wedding venue to have parking. I rarely have cash on me, so I would be in a bind if I had to pay $18 to park. I'd need to be there 30 mins early, plus the ceremony and reception, so I'm guessing at least 6 hours at $3/ hour. To me it goes along the same lines as I shouldn't have to open my wallet at the wedding, but that's JMHO :)

    There is parking though, there are garages all around.

    I'm used to paying for parking when going to events in a city, any city. Unless the city is cool and parking is free on weekends! The majority of the garage pay machines accept credit and debit cards anyways, so having cash isn't an issue.


    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • I'm in Portland, too! I'm also getting married downtown. We chose the World Trade Center Portland because of the river view and because they have an onsite parking garage where we can arrange to host parking. What venues are you looking at?

    I don't think parking is an issue downtown because there are so many garages. I would make sure to include an insert or include on your website the directions to the closest parking garage to your venue. I would also at least attempt to host the parking if possible. Also what time does your wedding start? Parking in the afternoon and evening should be fine, it's only once nighttime hits and people come downtown to party that I think there might be any issue.

    We looked at the WTC too! We are thinking of the Treasury Ballroom.

    Our ceremony will probably begin at 6, long before the weekend party crowd shows up.

    And yes, all the garges take credit/debit. Even the meters on the street do, so having cash wouldn't be an issue.

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  • If you don't have any OOT guests, then is it reasonable to assume that everyone you're inviting is familiar with the parking situation downtown? If they are, then I think you're avoiding a dealbreaker. 

    If I were in your position, I would try to talk to the nearest parking garage(s) and arrange for validated parking if possible. If it's in your budget, you could maybe spring for a shuttle service to bring your guests to and from that garage if they park there. I'm just trying to get creative for you lol
  • TilaT25 said:

    I'm in Portland, too! I'm also getting married downtown. We chose the World Trade Center Portland because of the river view and because they have an onsite parking garage where we can arrange to host parking. What venues are you looking at?

    I don't think parking is an issue downtown because there are so many garages. I would make sure to include an insert or include on your website the directions to the closest parking garage to your venue. I would also at least attempt to host the parking if possible. Also what time does your wedding start? Parking in the afternoon and evening should be fine, it's only once nighttime hits and people come downtown to party that I think there might be any issue.

    We looked at the WTC too! We are thinking of the Treasury Ballroom.

    Our ceremony will probably begin at 6, long before the weekend party crowd shows up.

    And yes, all the garges take credit/debit. Even the meters on the street do, so having cash wouldn't be an issue.

    The question is if people should have to shell out $20 to attend your wedding. Meters in my city would not be an option as you would have to keep going out to feed if every few hours. I think you should host the parking, since you are saving a significant amount vs the country club you could allocate your funds toward parking. The garage might give you a discount for buying passes in bulk.
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  • I don't think it's a deal breaker.  But, it may be a good idea to contact the closest parking garage to see if they can work out a deal.  Maybe they would be willing to reserve parking spaces, to ensure that everyone can fit in the nearest parking.  Or maybe they would offer a reduced group rate for a certain number of vehicles.  It would also be nice if you were able to pay for the parking, but not totally mandatory (although I would include in invite either way).  Maybe the parking garage will work out a system for validating parking tickets, so guests don't need to pay.  Also, ask the venue if they offer parking validation or have any deals with local garages.  You may not be able to make any deals, but it never hurts to at least ask.

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  • Thanks ladies. I will start researching the parking garages and see what I can find out. Sounds like the jury is divided on this one. :)
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  • I live in NYC and totally understand the allure of a downtown-urban venue instead of going the golf course route.  I've been to plenty of both weddings, and at the urban weddings, the big difference maker is when a couple arranges a parking discount with a nearby garage.  Of the downtown venues you looked at, ask them what kind of arrangements they have with nearby garages.  The one with the best parking scenario (shortest walk, lowest price) for guests would be the one I'd go with.  Good luck!
  • I think this is a "know your crowd". Some are used to it, but others avoid downtown situations.

    Honestly? I have skipped weddings when I would have to drive into a ibig city myself as I DETEST drving in downtown due to crowds. If you are willing to risk having people miss due to that, go for it.

    With that, I DO believe most people who live in big cities are smart enough to know that downtown parking usually costs money. At least, in every large city that I am aware of, at least. I would never personally go downtown and NOT bring money....HOWEVER,

    Etiquette does say pay for parking, though.
  • SammiNJonniSammiNJonni member
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    edited February 2014
    Talk to the garage and the venue. My venue does not have a parking lot but has a deal with the garage next door provide to free parking for events. They hand out parking vouchers at the reception so at the end of the night the guests just hand that to the person working the garage. If your venue does not have that type of arrangement I would ask the garage there is a way for you to host parking for your guests and have vouchers they would use. Your guests should not have to open their wallet for anything at your wedding including parking. This may end up bringing your cheaper venue to the same price or more than the other venues so you will have to consider than when choosing.

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  • TilaT25 said:

    I'm in Portland, too! I'm also getting married downtown. We chose the World Trade Center Portland because of the river view and because they have an onsite parking garage where we can arrange to host parking. What venues are you looking at?

    I don't think parking is an issue downtown because there are so many garages. I would make sure to include an insert or include on your website the directions to the closest parking garage to your venue. I would also at least attempt to host the parking if possible. Also what time does your wedding start? Parking in the afternoon and evening should be fine, it's only once nighttime hits and people come downtown to party that I think there might be any issue.

    We looked at the WTC too! We are thinking of the Treasury Ballroom.

    Our ceremony will probably begin at 6, long before the weekend party crowd shows up.

    And yes, all the garges take credit/debit. Even the meters on the street do, so having cash wouldn't be an issue.

    The question is if people should have to shell out $20 to attend your wedding. Meters in my city would not be an option as you would have to keep going out to feed if every few hours. I think you should host the parking, since you are saving a significant amount vs the country club you could allocate your funds toward parking. The garage might give you a discount for buying passes in bulk.
    I see what you are saying, and more so for the sake of discussion and not to be solely argumentative with you- No one has ever paid for parking for me when I have been an OOT guest and had to park in the hotel garage.  In the DC area, FI and I had to pay like $30 a day for parking when we went to a wedding. 

    And traveling to an OOT wedding and then having to park for a few days is far more expensive than having to park in town for a single evening.  So should B's&G's pay for OOT parking as well?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • edited February 2014
    All this talk of Portland is making me think of Portlandia ;-)

    http://www.brainguidance.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/ironic-low-key-unconventional-wedding-still-phoebe-888055.jpg

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • Portlandia is disturbingly accurate of life here.

     

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  • Particularly the episode about going to brunch.

     

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  • I'm in a different city, but parking is definitely a real treat. I recommend putting parking info on your wedding website (and HAVING a wedding website). Try to see if you can make a deal with a garage nearby to either have super cheap parking for guests, or to find a way for you to pay for their parking.

    I'm much more forgiving about stuff like having to pay for parking when I know in advance I'll have to pay (and if it's less than $10 for the whole night).
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  • Portland isn't that bad to navigate. I guess I thought it was when I was used to living in Astoria, but now that I've been to lots of other cities and have gotten better at driving period, Portland doesn't bother me. GPS helps a lot. 

    Personally I would want to arrange a shuttle from whatever hotel you block. A lot of them will do it for free or not much. If it's a hotel that provides an airplane shuttle, chances are pretty good that they'd do something like that too. I went to a wedding near Gresham and the hotel was more than happy to shuttle us to the wedding at a museum nearby. 

    And yes, Portlandia is so accurate! I wouldn't even consider it satire. It's documentary.
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  • Look into companies that will come set up valet outside of the venue. We have lots of options for that here in San Diego. They're an outside service and they will park the cars for you at local garages. You would pay of course.
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