Thanks For Your Advice

Maggie0829 · February 2014

LondonLisa said:

specificnorthwest said:

Ok, I can provide more seats, and could change around some catering options to provide kid friendly food, but i can't provide food for every single little one. Honestly, I think parents should provide their little ones whatever snack because I can't guarantee that every child likes say apples and cheese or if I can provide food to consider EVERY allergy (there are a LOT of little ones with diverse allergies.) Since it's between a meal and parents probably won't want to stay until the end (kids get restless and cranky from overstimulation). I am providing food and seats for kids 3 and up.

My venue is at a warehouse, children cannot crawl on the floor without getting wet/muddy/splinters. I can't have small ones who don't know better left to their own devices.

If you are doing fruit, crackers and cheese platters, that is perfectly fine for a child. You don't have to serve them a happy meal, but just have enough food to include them. Don't treat them as a "non-guest" but also don't worry if they do not like your option. They don't eat very much to begin with so just a little extra at the buffet, juice or milk, and some cake will go very far. When I was little, I never had "children's meals", usually just the same as my parents in a smaller portion. If the children have severe allergies, I guarantee the parents will bring their own food for them as to prevent cross contamination. What are you planning on serving?

I also agree they each need a seat. It is the parent's responsibility to make sure their child behaves, but it is your responsibility to provide refreshments (but you don't have to provide a special children's meal).

Edited: spelling

This. It doesn't sound like you are providing a lot of food, but rather just snacks and dessert so adding a few more onto the headcount isn't going to break the bank. Also, chairs are needed for every butt regardless of age.

My niece was 18 months at the time of my wedding and she was running around the dance floor like crazy. Pretty much everyone in that room was a virtual stranger to her but her parents kept an eye on her and I trusted my guests not to let an 18 month old outside into the stands or throw her off the balcony.

It sounds like you should just not invite kids since you really have no idea how to host them.

SomethingBeautiful08 · February 2014

My nephew is under 3 and he can eat... about a half an adult meal at this point depending on how hungry he is. He attend a wedding when he was only weeks old and while didn't need food, my sister appreciated the chair to put him down on and she was probably eating for one and a half. Hosting 3 and under kids are generally pretty cheap, but they aren't free. I agree with others, you need to get a chair for everyone regardless of age. If you are doing typical finger food appetizers, just add one more adult to your count for every 2-3 kids under 3.

Amyzen83 · February 2014

specificnorthwest said:

Right now, I'm treating children under 3 as "non existent" IE they sit in parents laps, I'm not providing food for them because children that age need high chairs to eat and the venue can't provide it, they honestly can't be left to crawl on the floor because it's a rough wooden warehouse floor (read SPLINTERS), so I'm basically treating them like they're attached to their mothers. Bear in mind, my reception is 2pm to 4 or 5pm, between meals so that we are only providing adults and children 3+ a light snack.

I can't afford a babysitter or a "kiddy area", am I being reasonable or should I provide more?

I'm worried because I can't afford much of anything in addition and I can't ask my friends to leave their kids at home. I'm on an extremely tight budget, I have about $25 wiggle room.

I'm sorry but I'm having a very difficult time getting past the large bolded. I get that small children under 3 may not require adult sized portions and may be under strict supervision of their parents, but they are still people. And I'm sure the adult guests would prefer that they don't have to share their seat with their child. If you are on a tight budget, and you feel like including the little ones will cause your budget to tip, then don't invite them period and call it a day. Children have needs too and if you invite them, then they are guests. You don't have to pay for grown up meals or snacks for them, and if they are aren't eating solids yet, then you are not required to provide formula. You do need to provide something though for the kids that can eat solids, and they should have chairs of their own.

sarahufl · February 2014

Starting to think OP has never been around a child before. This whole post is strange.

Lizzieyounce · February 2014

Think of it this way, OP, if you were invited to a wedding and brought your toddler (if you have kids in the future) how much would you appreciate it if the bride considered your LO as "nonexistent" and therefore, forced to sit on your lap the entire evening and given nothing that they can eat? I'm betting you'd be pretty pissed off.

Your guests will be ticked off, and rightfully so. Toddler friendly food isn't that expensive and they do need chairs. Put yourself in their parents shoes then do the right thing.

AddieCake · February 2014

I look forward to the explanation of the floors. You could always ask the parents of these children what they will eat. We had 2 babies at our wedding, and both sets of parents called us ahead of time to let us know they would provide food for their kids, so this was a non-issue for us. It might very well be for you, too.

specificnorthwest · February 2014

Hey guys, thank you for the advice, I've taken a lot of it and adjusted my plans, I think I mentioned that in an earlier post that your advice had been so helpful and adjust my ideas. I really appreciate the advice and since now it's getting a bit repetitive I'm looking to delete this thread, does anyone know how to do that?

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

You can't delete a thread, and it's considered very rude to do so. Our advice might help another bride somewhere down the road.

I'm glad you're taking our advice to heart and making some changes. I hope you have a beautiful wedding.

Grabows14 · February 2014

@specificnorthwest, another way to handle asking questions, is to use the question option when posting. This way it will show up as "Answered" once you have what you are looking for. (Then people are more alert that you have found an answer)

specificnorthwest · February 2014

Grabows14 said:

@specificnorthwest, another way to handle asking questions, is to use the question option when posting. This way it will show up as "Answered" once you have what you are looking for. (Then people are more alert that you have found an answer)

Thank you! I think I'm going to do that from now on.

Viczaesar · February 2014

Grabows14 said:

@specificnorthwest, another way to handle asking questions, is to use the question option when posting. This way it will show up as "Answered" once you have what you are looking for. (Then people are more alert that you have found an answer)

I really hate that feature. It screws up the order of posts and bumps me back to the "answer" post instead of keeping my place in the thread.

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