I do not have to invite this person right?

Re: I do not have to invite this person right?

• huskypuppy14 member

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  I think you don't have to invite him because he's attacked one of your other guests. I think this is the exception to you must invite all SO. Though I would probably push back and not inviteL either. ETA: Just because L's brother and parents are invited doesn't mean she is entitled to an invite too.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• Jen4948 member

  

  February 2014

  Violence is an exception to the "social units must be invited together" rule.  You need to think first of the safety of your guests.
  

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• smalfrie19 member

  

  February 2014

  How old is L? 

  

  
  

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• SammiNJonni member

  

  February 2014

  Smallfrie L is 30 
  
  Laury I wish FPIL have been amazing with not pushing for their own input in everything except for wanting a few guests added to the list they know our guest cap and are staying within it but this is one of those "those who pay get a say" senarios.
  
  

  

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• JellyBean52513 member

  

  February 2014

  Do you have a relationship with any of these people that would allow you to warn them that both D and L's S/O are going to be invited, but you're concerned about their violent history and you will have security on hand to remove anyone who gets into any physical altercations?

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• SammiNJonni member

  

  February 2014

  
  

  JellyBean52513 said:

  Do you have a relationship with any of these people that would allow you to warn them that both D and L's S/O are going to be invited, but you're concerned about their violent history and you will have security on hand to remove anyone who gets into any physical altercations?

  FMIL knows the history it is her best friends children. She is even the one who brought up possibly not inviting J but still wants L to be invited even though she is worried about hurt feelings and L might decline because J is not invited but D is invited with his FI.  Like I said a lot can happen in a year so I really hope L leaves J but wanted to make sure I am in the clear to not need to invite J. We had not though about hiring security but that may be an option too. But security can only stop something that is already happening and I do not want my friend to be uncomfortable. Maybe I can conveniently forget to mail L's invite.
  

  

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• KittyKaty20 member

  

  February 2014

  If you serve alcohol at your reception, you may be required to have security.

  If you do a Save the Date, only put L's name on it.

  Let D and J figure out how to conduct themselves on the day of your wedding if J and L are still together. You can minimize interaction by placing them at separate tables.

  

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• Gerbertmcway member

  

  February 2014

  I say NO. Either way you're likely so offend someone, so chose to offend the people who you care about less (J and L).

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• kmmssg mod

  

  February 2014 edited February 2014

  I say repeated violence gives you a pass here. If J has repeatedly attacked the other guy he obviously cant be trusted to know how to conduct himself at your wedding.

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  February 2014

  kmmssg said:

  I say repeated violence vives you a pass here. If J has repeatedly attacked the other guy he obviously cant be trusted to know how to conduct himself at your wedding.

  This

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• kmmssg mod

  

  February 2014

  Amyzen83 said:

  I say repeated violence vives you a pass here. If J has repeatedly attacked the other guy he obviously cant be trusted to know how to conduct himself at your wedding.

  This

  I hate it when I miss typos because I am not paying attention...

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• SammiNJonni member

  

  February 2014

  Thank you ladies I will be talking to FI about this and we will see if we can convince his mom that L does not have to be invited. If she does this will be the one and only exception to SO's.
  

  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  February 2014

  kmmssg said:

  I say repeated violence gives you a pass here. If J has repeatedly attacked the other guy he obviously cant be trusted to know how to conduct himself at your wedding.

  This. Actions have consequences and if your action is to date a douchecanoe who hits people, the consequence is that he doesn't get invited to fun places.
  
  Plusalso, this might serve as a wake-up call to L that, if she continues to date J, she and/or he will be excluded from things because he's an ass.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  February 2014

  HisGirlFriday13 your response made me giggle!

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