Can white gowns be worn after a wedding?

kns1988 · February 2014

I'm hoping someone can settle this argument... My fiance really believes that a married woman is never supposed to wear a white gown again. He's not talking about wearing a white wedding dress again; he thinks all white dresses in general are not supposed to be worn after a wedding. I have no idea where he heard this, and I think he's completely wrong. Thoughts?

MuppetOverlord · February 2014

He's ridiculous. Definitely wrong.

SlothGoals · February 2014

Ditto Muppet. Your husband is incorrect.

Teddy917 · February 2014

Traditionally I think your Fi is right. White represents purity and by extension virginity. Likely you won't be a virgin after you're married so white wouldn't traditionally be okay. But by that traditional way of thinking even a lot of first time brides shouldn't wear white as most people lose their virginity long before marriage. And by that same logic a second, third, etc. bride shouldn't wear white either.

But it really doesn't matter. If you're a person who can look good in white without being washed out and isn't afraid of the dress showing dirt more easily, go for it.

kns1988 · February 2014

Yay, validation! Just one of those things that I'm sure he heard somewhere and it stuck with him, even though it's wrong. Also, if Michelle Obama does it, it has to be okay.

Jen4948 · February 2014

That's ridiculous.

The "white represents virginity" argument is crap. There are two reasons white became the traditional color of wedding gowns:

1) White was very expensive to keep clean, so it was chosen for wedding gowns to indicate wealth and status, and

2) Queen Victoria wore a white wedding gown.

In any case, it is no one else's business whether or not you are a virgin, so you can wear any color you like.

emmyg65 · February 2014

Haha, your FI is being ridiculous. Of course you can still wear white.

Also, people don't wear white wedding gowns to represent purity. They wear them because Queen Victoria wore a white wedding gown and started a trend. Traditionally, women just wore the nicest dress they could afford.

SlothGoals · February 2014

Teddy917 said:

Traditionally I think your Fi is right. White represents purity and by extension virginity. Likely you won't be a virgin after you're married so white wouldn't traditionally be okay. But by that traditional way of thinking even a lot of first time brides shouldn't wear white as most people lose their virginity long before marriage. And by that same logic a second, third, etc. bride shouldn't wear white either. But it really doesn't matter. If you're a person who can look good in white without being washed out and isn't afraid of the dress showing dirt more easily, go for it.

The misconception that white = purity drives me nuts for some reason. The Virgin Mary is most often pictured in blue, how can you get more pure than a virgin giving birth?!

Anyways, @Teddy917 I completely disagree with your line of thinking. I shouldn't be allowed to wear a white shirt after I'm married because I'm no longer pure/virginal? Nope.

AddieCake · February 2014

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

deannagirly · February 2014

Just not after labor day. Jk

Of course you can wear white!

doeydo · February 2014

I wonder if some men actually think this and therefore assume women aren't married if they are wearing white, the same way one would assume that they are married or engaged if they saw a ring or two on a woman's ring finger?
Edited to make more sense, hopefully.

AddieCake · February 2014

My husband says, "Where do people get this shit?"

phira · February 2014

Your fiance is wrong. Wheeeee.

@Teddy917 The tradition of the white wedding dress started after Queen Victoria got married in a huge lacy white dress, and it was a sign of wealth because only wealthy people could afford the expense of getting married in a very nice white dress. For a long time, people got married in their finest clothes, and since white dresses are very hard to keep clean unless you are wealthy enough to 1) have them cleaned and/or 2) not get them dingy in the first place, your best dress was likely not white. This is why ivory is also a traditional color for wedding dresses, even though it's not pure white.

Historically, the color associated with purity is blue, not white. While the whole "white as virginity" explanation for white wedding dresses has been accepted by a lot of people, it's not the source of the tradition.

kns1988 · February 2014

My guess is the interwebs

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

Wtf, both at your husband and at Teddy. Seriously.

What. The. Actual. Fuck.

jdluvr06 · February 2014

I told my FI this and he was like is that a real thing? Your fiancé is wrong on this one.

smalfrie19 · February 2014

Teddy917 said:

Traditionally I think your Fi is right. White represents purity and by extension virginity. Likely you won't be a virgin after you're married so white wouldn't traditionally be okay. But by that traditional way of thinking even a lot of first time brides shouldn't wear white as most people lose their virginity long before marriage. And by that same logic a second, third, etc. bride shouldn't wear white either. But it really doesn't matter. If you're a person who can look good in white without being washed out and isn't afraid of the dress showing dirt more easily, go for it.

BLUE is the color of virginity....NOT white...that's why the Virgin Mary is depicted in BLUE..not white...so should I not wear blue anymore??

ETA @Teddy917 ...by this "traditional" logic...does this mean YOU are still permitted to wear white???

antoto · February 2014

Even if white DID represent virginity or purity I'm sorry to burst any bubbles but 99% of the US doesn't wait until marriage. Go ahead and tell 99% of brides they can't wear white. I dare you.

Wear whatever the eff you want because we don't need to be told what colors we can and cannot wear based on the existence or lack thereof of our hymen.

/endrant.

p.s. this would be considered tradition, not etiquette.

phira · February 2014

The etiquette part is figuring out how the OP can politely tell her fiance that he's totally wrong.

kns1988 · February 2014

This got heated. I feel like I need to clarify that he wasn't being an ass about it. He just had a misconception, which I have now corrected.

Viczaesar · February 2014

Teddy917 said:

Traditionally I think your Fi is right. White represents purity and by extension virginity. Likely you won't be a virgin after you're married so white wouldn't traditionally be okay. But by that traditional way of thinking even a lot of first time brides shouldn't wear white as most people lose their virginity long before marriage. And by that same logic a second, third, etc. bride shouldn't wear white either. But it really doesn't matter. If you're a person who can look good in white without being washed out and isn't afraid of the dress showing dirt more easily, go for it.

No. No, it doesn't, and no, that's not correct.

MollyandD · February 2014

Jen4948 said:

That's ridiculous.

The "white represents virginity" argument is crap. There are two reasons white became the traditional color of wedding gowns:

1) White was very expensive to keep clean, so it was chosen for wedding gowns to indicate wealth and status, and

2) Queen Victoria wore a white wedding gown.

In any case, it is no one else's business whether or not you are a virgin, so you can wear any color you like.

Yep, white became popular thanks to Queen Victoria. In her time, brides often wore golds and silvers to symbolize their wealth. She was already queen, and did not need to make a statement of her wealth. She chose white as a way of showing support to the people who made lace.

CMGragain · February 2014

Ladies who are members of the Daughters of the American Revolution wear white gowns to state and national conference until they are 35. My daughter has done this for years. I'm too old to qualify.
I believe Order of the Eastern Star does this, too.

artbyallie · February 2014

Funny story, it was wedding dress shopping that made me realize I can pull off white. I thought I was too pale, but I love the way I look in it. I now own several white dresses, going on three years after my wedding.

CMGragain · February 2014

AddieL73 said:

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

Gasp! Clutching pearls. What? Not after Labor Day! ;-)

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

CMGragain said:

AddieL73 said:

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

Gasp! Clutching pearls. What? Not after Labor Day! ;-)

You and I are in the minority in thinking this rule still stands.

Blue_Bird · February 2014

kns1988 said:

This got heated. I feel like I need to clarify that he wasn't being an ass about it. He just had a misconception, which I have now corrected.

I don't think anyone thinks he was being an ass. They're just in awe about where he got the idea in the first place. I'm in awe about what he expected you to do with the information if it was in fact, a "rule".

RebeccaB88 · February 2014

HisGirlFriday13 said:

CMGragain said:

AddieL73 said:

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

Gasp! Clutching pearls. What? Not after Labor Day! ;-)

You and I are in the minority in thinking this rule still stands.

I'll join you in that minority. A wedding gown is the sole exception to the no white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day rule

MollyandD · February 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

CMGragain said:

AddieL73 said:

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

Gasp! Clutching pearls. What? Not after Labor Day! ;-)

You and I are in the minority in thinking this rule still stands.

I'll join you in that minority. A wedding gown is the sole exception to the no white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day rule

Before Memorial Day? Everyone I know always said Easter is when you wear white again. When I was little, I would get new white dress shoes for Easter. Haha

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

RebeccaB88 said:

HisGirlFriday13 said:

CMGragain said:

AddieL73 said:

Anyone can wear a white dress any time they damned well please.

Gasp! Clutching pearls. What? Not after Labor Day! ;-)

You and I are in the minority in thinking this rule still stands.

I'll join you in that minority. A wedding gown is the sole exception to the no white after Labor Day or before Memorial Day rule

Or a First Communicant gown, because that sacrament happens before Memorial Day. But YAY for company in the minority!!

phira · February 2014

All this talk about white after Labor Day makes me think of Serial Mom.

Can white gowns be worn after a wedding?

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