My FBIL's Fi is being a idk what to call it

Re: My FBIL's Fi is being a idk what to call it

• FiancB member

  

  February 2014

  To be honest, that would kind of annoy me unless it was in an area where there just aren't very many venues. I ended up replanning my wedding and was really careful to not do the same thing as other people. I would've liked to have checked out the Embassy Suites in the cities, but we have a friend that's getting married there a month before us and I would've felt rude doing it there.

  
  

   Likewise I want to avoid anywhere else that friends have gotten married at, but then that's in the cities with a ton of different venues. If we were in Little Town USA where we live, there's pretty much three venues and that's it so it's not really "copying" to pick the same one. 

  
  

  Like I wouldn't be raging pissed, but I can't say I'd be totally cool with it either. 

  
  

  Other stuff is fine. I had the idea of asking a mutual friend to officiate our wedding, and the couple that's getting married a month before us decided to as well, and they were all worried I'd be pissed they were copying. Which I wasn't. I feel like the venue dictates so much about the wedding though. 

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  February 2014

  scribe95 said:

  I sort of get where she is coming from. Having her wedding before her is no big thing. You don't own the year. Using the same venue too? uh, okay. I can deal. Using other vendors? Now I'm starting to get annoyed.
  

  This. I think I would definitely start to get pissed if she were doing everything the same as me. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• StephJean83 member

  

  February 2014

  FiancB said:

  To be honest, that would kind of annoy me unless it was in an area where there just aren't very many venues. I ended up replanning my wedding and was really careful to not do the same thing as other people. I would've liked to have checked out the Embassy Suites in the cities, but we have a friend that's getting married there a month before us and I would've felt rude doing it there.

  
  

   Likewise I want to avoid anywhere else that friends have gotten married at, but then that's in the cities with a ton of different venues. If we were in Little Town USA where we live, there's pretty much three venues and that's it so it's not really "copying" to pick the same one. 

  
  

  Like I wouldn't be raging pissed, but I can't say I'd be totally cool with it either. 

  
  

  Other stuff is fine. I had the idea of asking a mutual friend to officiate our wedding, and the couple that's getting married a month before us decided to as well, and they were all worried I'd be pissed they were copying. Which I wasn't. I feel like the venue dictates so much about the wedding though. 

  This was why I wanted and am glad we are getting near where we live vs small towns FH and I grew up in. In the town he grew up in we had the option 3 venues. We could have gone to the next large city but he had a ton of HS friends get married there and I didn't want to feel like I was "copying" any of his friends. Where I grew up there is ONE choice and everything is done there, fundraisers, weddings, graduations. I have gone to many weddings there and it just wasn't what I want.
  
  I think some friend of mine picked my venue, vendors, I would be annoyed especially since my venue isn't a traditional venue. I know that I can't stop someone without looking bridezilla like. Of course if they pick it now, and than get married before me, my annoyance would increase tenfold but at the end of the day my wedding will be different because it is my FH and my wedding.
  
  I did ask my sister if she would be annoyed if we did purple for our BM dresses since she did purple. She laughed and said that she didn't care and for UA to pick whatever colors we wanted. They picked purple because the invited they liked had grapes on them.
  

  You never lose by loving. You always lose by holding back. - Barbara DeAngelis

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• McCMal member

  

  February 2014

  I live in a small town and we farm for a living. So our windows were anytime up until March, then the months of April-June, and August. Then November or December. Since we got engaged in December, we didn't want to wait a year, or rush to plan it,  it was really June or August. the first 3 weekends of June were taken for our reception place, and the 3rd week was to close to harvest, if it should come early. 

  
  

  Our friends are also in the same situation, and have been engaged for about 2 years (They just graduated HS) They're getting married labor day (Aug. 30) so they sent STD out early. When we got engaged, I asked her if she would be alright if we got married in June before her. She had absolutely no objections, and we both agreed to be in each other's WP. We then found out that all the June weekends wouldn't work, so she suggested the 16th, two weeks before hers. 

  
  

  I am getting married at an old church near our house, and having the reception at the community center. I'm using wheat and lavender for flowers, and tons of rustic tulle and burlap. 

  
  

  She's still deciding on the ceremony, but the reception is also at the community center. (she decided to change to there after I signed up for my day, they originally were going to do it outdoors) She's using the same burlap/ vintage mason jar stuff, but doing Green and Yellow (John Deere) for colors. So they're going to be similar. But still very different. As long as she's comfortable with our date so close, we're both happy! Bounce ideas off each other a lot.  

  
  

  

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• SammiNJonni member

  

  February 2014

  Same venue not going to upset me but use the same vendors for everything and start planning a similar look to what i am doing and then I might get pissed. The good thing is her wedding is a month later so she will find out any flaws at her friends wedding and fix them.
  

  

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• JaniV123 member

  

  February 2014

  thanks ladies! 

  
  

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• lc07 member

  

  February 2014

  Personally, I'd be stoked to get to attend a wedding at my venue before my own wedding. I'd be able to work out some of the kinks, hopefully, after experiencing that person's wedding.

  
  

  Our wedding went really smoothly but there were a few things that bothered me. Our wedding was held in a room at the top of a building that had a roof deck attached to the indoor part of the room and the one wall opened up fully. It wasn't a hot day out but I thought the room was too warm even though they had AC on (and I was not wearing a big poofy dress). I would have mentioned that to my coordinator after attending the friend's wedding so we could make sure the temperature was controlled better at my own wedding if possible.

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• KytchynWitche member

  

  February 2014

  Yeah, no. I would be annoyed if the friend was copying detail for detail, decision for decision. But just because you use the same vendor doesn't mean you're going to pick exactly the same flower arrangements, table settings, menu options etc.
  
  Most vendors have an array of options to cater for varying tastes - otherwise they'd go out of business pretty quickly from people going "oh no, don't go to them, they ONLY do pink roses and floating candles!"
  
  And the same goes for venues. It's absolutely amazing what a few meters of tulle (or ribbons, flower petals, wax paper backdrops, etc) can do to a space. There are always options.
  
  Unless the friend picks ALL the same details, has the exact same dress, and has the BP in the exact same attire, in the exact same colours, I would be okay with it. Because really, no one who isn't actually IN the wedding is even going to remember all the little details, unless the two weddings are exact, and I mean EXACT, copies of each other - they're there to see too people commit their lives to each other, and that's what they're going to remember.
  
  Honestly, I was involved with my sister's first wedding, and the only detail I remember was the confetti (because I had to hand make it because my sister couldn't find it in the exact shade she wanted). I have no idea what flowers were used, I don't remember the table settings, or what the reception venue looked like. I only remember what the church looked like because it was our home parish...
  

  

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