Fiance wants to join the Marines?

alysia1552 · February 2014

Hello,

My Fiance just dropped some news on me this morning that he has been thinking for a while now that he wants to join the Marines. I have less than a year before I graduate with a bachelors in Health Administration. We aren’t even planning on getting married till 2015 after I graduate. We also have just purchased a home less than 2 months ago! I don’t know what has brought this up honestly. I know he has always thought about it but, I’m not sure what finally made him decide on this. Any ways I need to know if there is a way to have my fiancé live his new dream of becoming a Marine along with my dream of having a career. I don’t want to be the wife that doesn’t work (Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with this) and is always waiting around every day for him to come home. Maybe this is really mean of me but, we talked about our goals in life and the military was never a part of it till just now. I just have so many questions and he isn’t exactly one to get answers quickly and, I am kind of stressing out about this. Has anyone else been in this situation and, if so how does all this work? I know he will have to go through boot camp and all that but what about afterwards? Will we still be able to keep our home? Sorry so many questions. I by no means have anything against the Military my brother is a Marine as well so this is not coming from a bad place I support our military and my Fiance joining it’s just kind of out of no-where.

hlvonb · February 2014

shytown1552 said:

Hello,

My Fiance just dropped some news on me this morning that he has been thinking for a while now that he wants to join the Marines. I have less than a year before I graduate with a bachelors in Health Administration. We aren’t even planning on getting married till 2015 after I graduate. We also have just purchased a home less than 2 months ago! I don’t know what has brought this up honestly. I know he has always thought about it but, I’m not sure what finally made him decide on this. Any ways I need to know if there is a way to have my fiancé live his new dream of becoming a Marine along with my dream of having a career. I don’t want to be the wife that doesn’t work (Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with this) and is always waiting around every day for him to come home. Maybe this is really mean of me but, we talked about our goals in life and the military was never a part of it till just now. I just have so many questions and he isn’t exactly one to get answers quickly and, I am kind of stressing out about this. Has anyone else been in this situation and, if so how does all this work? I know he will have to go through boot camp and all that but what about afterwards? Will we still be able to keep our home? Sorry so many questions. I by no means have anything against the Military my brother is a Marine as well so this is not coming from a bad place I support our military and my Fiance joining it’s just kind of out of no-where.

I would have both you and your FI talk to a recruiter or another Marine (non-recruiter) and ask them about your concerns

mysticl · February 2014

What PP said.

As for your home you can keep it if you can afford it. We own two homes. The one we live in and the one we lived in at our last duty station. We rent that house out. When we leave here will probably rent this house out as well. If you do rent it out get a property manager, don't try to manage it yourself.

Your career could be tricky. It depends on where you end up. When we moved here I had a hard time even finding a job in field (I'm a Social Worker) to apply for. I ended up getting pregnant 2 months after we moved and wanted to stay home with my child so I stopped looking. Where we used to live there were a lot more options available to me.

I can't talk about what the enlistment process is like. I married a Sailor and knew from the beginning he was planning to stay in for 20 years. Of course he had less than 5 years left when we got married so this lifestyle is truly temporary for me.

alysia1552 · February 2014

Hello,

Thanks for the responses. We plan on going to a recruiter I just wanted to know if anyone else had been in this same boat. We won’t be able to go speak to one till next month because, of our crazy work schedules right now. I kind of freaked out a little as you can tell lol. I never thought about renting that would be a good idea we live in prime rental area because of two universities near us; our parents also live very close by so they would be able to check on the home if we aren't around.

Sammy0709 · February 2014

I know your husband has his heart set on the Marines right now but, if he is willing and since he hasn't talked to any recruiter yet, I would talk to all branches before he enlists. They all offer something different and there's a chance one will suit you as a family and him as an individual better than the others.

I had a difficult time finding work after I moved in with DH. I have an AS in Respiratory Therapy and a BS in Healthcare Admin. I ended up working at the exchange on base but we lived in a remote area. Anyway, that's part of the reason my husband and I are both in the Navy now...plus it's just something I felt I needed and wanted to do with my life so I can see where your husband is coming from. It took my husband some time to get used to the idea. It will really depend on you when it comes to where your career goes. Remember a healthcare admin degree is really a specialized business management degree so you are not limited to a hospital setting. Keep an open mind when looking for jobs and don't expect to get your dream job right out of the gate but that's no different from the advice any new college graduate should get. Just be a team and you'll be fine.

Tiffany101015 · February 2014

Are there any Marine reserve bases by you? My fiance is in the Marine reserves. The only way you could live where you live now is if you sign up for a reserve or air wing unit. You need to tell the recruiter you CAN NOT move. If he goes active then he can be sent to japan, Hawaii, California, north Carolina, etc.

Bootcamp is 3 months- no communication between you two besides letters. He will then have family day & graduation. (You can come and watch him graduate- proudest moment of your life!!) Then he comes home for 10 day leave before he goes back to MCT (1 month) then MOS training (1 month-12 months or longer). If he is infantry then he goes to SOI school. MOS is the job training....so it depends on what job he gets.

Feel free to message me for more questions on active vs reserve or on the Marines all together. My fiance joined in 2009 so I'm very used to it

mbrooke2008 · March 2014

shytown1552 said:

Hello,

My Fiance just dropped some news on me this morning that he has been thinking for a while now that he wants to join the Marines. I have less than a year before I graduate with a bachelors in Health Administration. We aren’t even planning on getting married till 2015 after I graduate. We also have just purchased a home less than 2 months ago! I don’t know what has brought this up honestly. I know he has always thought about it but, I’m not sure what finally made him decide on this. Any ways I need to know if there is a way to have my fiancé live his new dream of becoming a Marine along with my dream of having a career. I don’t want to be the wife that doesn’t work (Which there is absolutely nothing wrong with this) and is always waiting around every day for him to come home. Maybe this is really mean of me but, we talked about our goals in life and the military was never a part of it till just now. I just have so many questions and he isn’t exactly one to get answers quickly and, I am kind of stressing out about this. Has anyone else been in this situation and, if so how does all this work? I know he will have to go through boot camp and all that but what about afterwards? Will we still be able to keep our home? Sorry so many questions. I by no means have anything against the Military my brother is a Marine as well so this is not coming from a bad place I support our military and my Fiance joining it’s just kind of out of no-where.

Hello! I just got married to a Marine in October, and we had to relocate to North Carolina. I think having just bought a home, that this may not be a good time because as it has already been stated y'all will likely be relocating. So unless you were considering renting the home, and coming back to it after 4 years, it could cause some extra frustration to an already confusing time.

On the career front, it can definitely be a little bit difficult to find a job. I have a finance degree and worked as a HR compensation analyst for a year and a half prior to getting married. Luckily, my company is semi-virtual and I was able to keep my job and work from home. However, when I got here and realized I would love to go into an office and kind of missed that aspect of work, I found there just isn't much here in my field. Some bases don't have as much opportunity as others. Camp Pendleton (San Diego) would probably give you the biggest job market, but you could end up in 29 Palms or Japan. I met my husband when I was 17 and I am just about to turn 24, and I have had a long time to get used to the idea of having him in the Marines (he's been active for about a year and a half, prior to that he was in ROTC). Good luck!

bremnerschmitz · April 2014

I don't know about the enlistment part because my fiance had already been in the Air Force 9 years when we met. But as for the career part, it's a bit harder but it can be done! I'm a pediatric speech therapist and we just moved from Colorado to Nevada 3 months ago. I gave up my dream job in Colorado for the move, and honestly I didn't mind doing it nearly as much as I thought I would. I was always the person who wasn't going to give up on my dreams for some silly boy. I got annoyed with my friends who changed colleges for their boyfriends, thought it was something I'd never do because I'm way too independent for that silliness. But when you're sacrificing your career for the right reason, you don't mind doing it.

For me, it involved a bit of re-imagining of my career plan - instead of planning to climb a company ladder at one place, I now have a plan of getting a wide variety of experiences in different places, then going back to school to become a professor. That way moving every few years isn't preventing me from having a career, it's just changing that career a bit.

Definitely talk to him about it a lot, make sure you both have an understanding of what life will be like once he enlists. Other important questions to talk about with him - How long does he see himself being in for? 5 years? 20 years? That changes a lot. The job he wants within the marines is also important to talk about a lot. My fiance has a job where we are pretty much guaranteed to move every 3-4 years, its way more dangerous than I care to admit to myself, and he deploys very frequently (as in, he was home for a full year before his most recent deployment, and he was only home that long because he hurt his back on the previous deployment). However, other jobs are not nearly that intense. Make sure he knows where your comfort level is so he plans his job choices to account for you.

Fiance wants to join the Marines?

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