Eye Roll...

APDSS22 · February 2014

I know lots of people are seemingly unaware of how writing "and Guest" comes off, but it is even more ridiculous when you've met this person face to face that they can't spend 2 seconds on FB to figure out your name. It really does knock you down for a second. My now husband was "and Guest" on the escort card at the wedding of my friend. We were engaged, she had met H and we'd hung out with her husband, I wrote his correct name on the response card and we were "in a relationship" on FB where I was friends with both her and her husband. One of the many completely oblivious things she did during the course of her wedding. I was annoyed (still am, a little bit) but I didn't retaliate by doing the same thing to them when I got married. Just be the bigger person and show them how an etiquette-conscious bride does things when you get married.

JellyBean52513 · February 2014

I honestly take this particular act beyond the world of etiquette. I understand that not everybody is etiquette-savvy, but what's rude is rude. This, to me, is not only but a matter of respect (or lack thereof). If two people bother themselves with getting into a relationship, I take that to mean that they want to be recognized and acknowledged as a social unit. To acknowledge only one part of that unit by name is very disrespectful to me, especially if the offender has met the "Guest" and hung out with them!

NYCBruin · February 2014

This would definitely bother me. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it does give the impression that the couple cares so little that they can't take the time to write your name. This is like when people misspell my name in an email. My email address has my name in it! You really couldn't take the time to look at the address line to check if you spelled my name correctly? Similarly, if someone couldn't take the two seconds to look up my name on Facebook when addressing an invitation, I'd be a bit peeved.

antoto · February 2014

NYCBruin said:

This would definitely bother me. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it does give the impression that the couple cares so little that they can't take the time to write your name. This is like when people misspell my name in an email. My email address has my name in it! You really couldn't take the time to look at the address line to check if you spelled my name correctly? Similarly, if someone couldn't take the two seconds to look up my name on Facebook when addressing an invitation, I'd be a bit peeved.

I -think- a lot of people in older generations are of the belief that a SO should not be listed unless they are married, so it's not that a lot of these people are being lazy (although I'm sure that is sometimes the case) I think they write "and Guest" because they seriously think that is proper etiquette. It's dumb and they should have done research, but if their mother or whoever is telling them this then they may just be taking their word for it. You really never know.

NYCBruin · February 2014

antoto said:

NYCBruin said:

This would definitely bother me. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it does give the impression that the couple cares so little that they can't take the time to write your name. This is like when people misspell my name in an email. My email address has my name in it! You really couldn't take the time to look at the address line to check if you spelled my name correctly? Similarly, if someone couldn't take the two seconds to look up my name on Facebook when addressing an invitation, I'd be a bit peeved.

I -think- a lot of people in older generations are of the belief that a SO should not be listed unless they are married, so it's not that a lot of these people are being lazy (although I'm sure that is sometimes the case) I think they write "and Guest" because they seriously think that is proper etiquette. It's dumb and they should have done research, but if their mother or whoever is telling them this then they may just be taking their word for it. You really never know.

Meh, that's possible. Given the number of invitations we receive with one or both of our names spelled wrong though, I'm inclined to think it's mostly from people's own laziness. But even if you're right, I still don't give people a pass. There are a lot of people in older generations who believe that "no ring, no bring" is appropriate, too. Just because your mom gives you terrible advice doesn't excuse your rude behavior.

lschwar2 · February 2014

I would most definitely be annoyed by this. Regardless of what official etiquette says, common sense dictates that labeling your friend's fiance as "guest" is rude.

mysticl · February 2014

Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.

sofakingmad · February 2014

I was annoyed when I was dating my ex and he was the best man in the wedding and they put me as "and guest."

They also wrote that they prefer cash gifts ON THE INVITATION.

They were the worst though.

lightningsnow · February 2014

antoto said:

NYCBruin said:

This would definitely bother me. It's not the worst thing in the world, but it does give the impression that the couple cares so little that they can't take the time to write your name. This is like when people misspell my name in an email. My email address has my name in it! You really couldn't take the time to look at the address line to check if you spelled my name correctly? Similarly, if someone couldn't take the two seconds to look up my name on Facebook when addressing an invitation, I'd be a bit peeved.

I -think- a lot of people in older generations are of the belief that a SO should not be listed unless they are married, so it's not that a lot of these people are being lazy (although I'm sure that is sometimes the case) I think they write "and Guest" because they seriously think that is proper etiquette. It's dumb and they should have done research, but if their mother or whoever is telling them this then they may just be taking their word for it. You really never know.

This. This is my BF's family's way of thinking when it concerns formal invites. We got into a bit of an argument over it when we received an invitation to a pre wedding party where I was listed as "and Guest".

dolewhipper · February 2014

It took me less than 60 seconds to go on FB and look up FI's friend's gf's name. Never met her, met him once.

I want my relationship to be respected and honored, why shouldn't I pass that respect along? Seems like laziness to me, which usually translates to rude.

jenniferurs · February 2014

mysticl said:
Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.

This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend).

I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

NYCBruin · February 2014

jenniferurs said:

Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.
This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend). I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

Eh, this sorta sends the message of "we just want a butt in the seat at the wedding" and basically says we aren't actually inviting your SO. It's almost like its own version of B-listing.

phira · February 2014

Here is my take on the situation:

1) Don't do it. It's really fucking rude. I hate to be all, "IN THIS DAY AND AGE," but seriously. It has never been this easy before to find out if your guests are in a relationship, and if they are, the name of their significant others. And even if your guests don't use social media or are really savvy with privacy settings, pick up the damn phone.

This has happened to me. I know that a lot of people say, "If this happened to me, I'd ..." Which is 100% fine to say, and we all know ourselves well enough to make a decent guess. But a year ago, I'd have said, "If this happened to me, I wouldn't care. I don't see what the big deal is." Because I didn't! When I was new to TK, I'd see this and go, "Ugh, for the love of god, it's not like you can't go to the wedding because you weren't invited by name!"

And then I got an invitation for my grandmother's 80th birthday. This party was A Big Deal in our family (like, catering, waitstaff, the works), so there were formal invitations instead of the regular ol' "Hey everyone" email. It was addressed to me "and guest."

The aunt who had addressed and sent the invitations is a facebook friend of mine, and my privacy settings are pretty relaxed, so she is able to see the name of the person I'm in a relationship with. She has met my partner more than once. Several weeks early, she had commented excitedly on my facebook status announcing my engagement. Basically, she knew I was in a serious relationship, she had met my partner, and she could have easily checked facebook for his last name (or emailed me! Or called me! Or asked my mom! Or my sister!).

It felt really shitty. Family is really important to my partner; it's been very important for him that my family likes him, and he's really uncomfortable because he grew up pretty poor and my family is uber-wealthy. So it's been really hard for him to feel comfortable and welcomed, even though my family does like him very much.

Not only that, but I'd been The Perpetually Single cousin/grandchild/niece in my family for a long time. All of the other 18-and-older (and some of the younger!) people in my generation are nearly constantly in relationships. In the meantime, I was usually single. When I wasn't, my relationships were short (short enough that my family barely got to know any of my boyfriends). Add in the fact that I'm a liberal progressive feminist and I'm plus-sized, and you've got nearly the perfect blend of forever-single going on. My siblings usually didn't take my relationships very seriously either, so when I WAS in a relationship, it felt like I was constantly having to prove my relationship was serious and awesome and meaningful. So when every relationship would fail after all that work trying to prove it was great, it was even harder to take my relationships seriously.

So getting an invitation to a family event that entirely ignored my partner was really hurtful for both of us. Did my aunt realize how much it was going to hurt me (and my partner) by replacing his name with "guest?" I mean ... I HOPE not! I assume not. But it's really upsetting that if she had spent a few minutes looking me up on facebook, my partner and I wouldn't still feel like shit six months later.

2) If it DOES happen to you, don't do anything about it. I mean, vent about it. Feel angry if you're feeling angry. But as much as I LOVE evil @hisgirlfriday13 and love every single deliciously evil suggestion, in reality, there's nothing that can be done. It's a slight that's usually without malice, and in the end, you are still going to attend with your partner, and you will probably have as much (or as little) fun as you would have had if the person hadn't fucked up the invitation.

TKzilla · February 2014

phira said:

Not only that, but I'd been The Perpetually Single cousin/grandchild/niece in my family for a long time. All of the other 18-and-older (and some of the younger!) people in my generation are nearly constantly in relationships. In the meantime, I was usually single. When I wasn't, my relationships were short (short enough that my family barely got to know any of my boyfriends). Add in the fact that I'm a liberal progressive feminist and I'm plus-sized, and you've got nearly the perfect blend of forever-single going on. My siblings usually didn't take my relationships very seriously either, so when I WAS in a relationship, it felt like I was constantly having to prove my relationship was serious and awesome and meaningful. So when every relationship would fail after all that work trying to prove it was great, it was even harder to take my relationships seriously.

Run away with me

tammym1001 · February 2014

FI and I were invited to a wedding for his friend's son (we weren't engaged yet, but living together). The invitation came addressed to both of us and I RSVP'd that both of us would attend by name. When we got to the wedding the escort said "FI and guest". WTF? It really did bother me. I'm assuming two different people did the invitations and escort cards, but that's still no excuse because they clearly had my name somewhere. It made me feel insignificant and it also irritated me because I was the one who responded, picked out their gift, bought their gift, wrapped their gift, made sure we were on time and at the right place, etc. If it weren't for me FI probably wouldn't even have gone to the wedding, but I was just "and guest" to them.

JeeGooDowster · February 2014

It's shitty and rude and you have every right to be annoyed. Side eye the shit out of it it...vent on TK ...but don't over-analyze it. RSVP with both of your names and just have fun at the wedding.

PrettyGirlLost · February 2014

shannonmaya said:

It took me less than 60 seconds to go on FB and look up FI's friend's gf's name. Never met her, met him once.

I want my relationship to be respected and honored, why shouldn't I pass that respect along? Seems like laziness to me, which usually translates to rude.

Exactly. It's laziness.

I'm in the process of gathering name and address info for STD's and I am asking ppl who their SO's are and how to spell their names.

phira · February 2014

@TKzilla My mom told me that I should take "feminist" out of my OKCupid profile. CLEARLY SHE WAS WRONG

ohmrs2014 · February 2014

My dad was upset that I named all our guests SOs by name on their invite. His belief is anything can happen and that he always put "and guest" even when his nieces and nephews were living together with their future spouses. Aside from the anything can happen, he figured if one the SO couldn't go, then they could just bring someone else.

mysticl · February 2014

NYCBruin said:

jenniferurs said:

Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.
This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend). I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

Eh, this sorta sends the message of "we just want a butt in the seat at the wedding" and basically says we aren't actually inviting your SO. It's almost like its own version of B-listing.

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

lovesclimbing · February 2014

I had two people who I didn't know the SOs name. I looked the person I knew up on FB and found the names.

However, just to play devil's advocate, sometimes it's not that easy. Not everyone has FB. My H wants to delete his. My dad doesn't have one. All of my aunts and uncles are married but only one person in the relationship has FB (and no, it's not the goofy "combined" FB thing). I have two or three friends my own age whose SOs do not have FB.

Not to say that's an excuse for not finding out the name.

JellyBean52513 · February 2014

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

Simple solution: "Hey Friend, we got your RSVP back and saw your SO won't be attending. We hope everything's alright, and if you'd like, you're welcome to bring someone else along. Just let us know their name by x date."

If I ever received an invite with "and Guest" on it, I would wonder who else they thought I would bring BUT my SO. If my SO ever received such an invite, I would be INCREDIBLY irritated that this couple thought my SO would attend their wedding with anyone but me.

Edited because I quoted the wrong post lol

NYCBruin · February 2014

mysticl said:

NYCBruin said:

jenniferurs said:

Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.
This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend). I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

Eh, this sorta sends the message of "we just want a butt in the seat at the wedding" and basically says we aren't actually inviting your SO. It's almost like its own version of B-listing.

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

But you would never do this to a married person (i.e. Mrs. So and So and Guest). Which is why it makes no sense and clearly gives some indication that the non-married person's relationship is less valid/important.

mysticl · February 2014

JellyBean52513 said:

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

Simple solution: "Hey Friend, we got your RSVP back and saw your SO won't be attending. We hope everything's alright, and if you'd like, you're welcome to bring someone else along. Just let us know their name by x date."

If I ever received an invite with "and Guest" on it, I would wonder who else they thought I would bring BUT my SO. If my SO ever received such an invite, I would be INCREDIBLY irritated that this couple thought my SO would attend their wedding with anyone but me.

Edited because I quoted the wrong post lol

Unless of course the friend RSVPs "no" because he or she doesn't want to come alone. I doubt anyone is going to call up every "no" response to find out the reasoning and try to work out a solution. I'm not saying it's the most polite option I'm just offering a potential reason as to why some people may address the invites that way.

mbross3 · February 2014

UGH! That is so frustrating. It's one of those things that is so easy to fix and it comes off as rude/lazy when you don't even try.

BF just got invited to one of his friend's weddings. I was "and guested" (we live together, and this person used to see us on a weekly basis and then when we moved, she and her H helped us). When I saw the "and guest" I vented on here as well. I'm putting it behind me, even though it's annoying!

jenniferurs · February 2014

JellyBean52513 said:
That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

Simple solution: "Hey Friend, we got your RSVP back and saw your SO won't be attending. We hope everything's alright, and if you'd like, you're welcome to bring someone else along. Just let us know their name by x date."

If I ever received an invite with "and Guest" on it, I would wonder who else they thought I would bring BUT my SO. If my SO ever received such an invite, I would be INCREDIBLY irritated that this couple thought my SO would attend their wedding with anyone but me.

Edited because I quoted the wrong post lol

I actually know multiple people who have chosen to bring someone other than their SO to weddings, so it's not as cut and dry as you think.

AshleyNicole1218 · February 2014

NYCBruin said:

mysticl said:

NYCBruin said:

jenniferurs said:

mysticl said:
Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.
This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend).

I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

Eh, this sorta sends the message of "we just want a butt in the seat at the wedding" and basically says we aren't actually inviting your SO. It's almost like its own version of B-listing.

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

But you would never do this to a married person (i.e. Mrs. So and So and Guest). Which is why it makes no sense and clearly gives some indication that the non-married person's relationship is less valid/important.

*****quote box, where are youuuuu!?***

I'll co-sign this for sure.

AshleyNicole1218 · February 2014

Loving all the discussion! Though I stand on etiquette's side with this one, I appreciate all the different view points.

Part of the reason for my post (other than being able to complain haha) was that I was hoping that it might serve as an example to other brides that maybe thought just writing 'and guest' for SO's might go unnoticed.

Thanks for letting me vent!

JellyBean52513 · February 2014

jenniferurs said:

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

Simple solution: "Hey Friend, we got your RSVP back and saw your SO won't be attending. We hope everything's alright, and if you'd like, you're welcome to bring someone else along. Just let us know their name by x date."

If I ever received an invite with "and Guest" on it, I would wonder who else they thought I would bring BUT my SO. If my SO ever received such an invite, I would be INCREDIBLY irritated that this couple thought my SO would attend their wedding with anyone but me.

Edited because I quoted the wrong post lol
I actually know multiple people who have chosen to bring someone other than their SO to weddings, so it's not as cut and dry as you think.

Well, how were their invitations written? Was the SO invited by name or just "and guest"? Hey, my way isn't the only way and I'm smart enough to know that similar circumstances will play out differently for different people. But I'm on Team Name The S/O

mysticl · February 2014

AshleyNicole1218 said:

mysticl said:

NYCBruin said:

jenniferurs said:

Just a different perspective. Maybe it's not an issue of not knowing a SO's name or not respecting the relationship. Maybe it's more an issue of they are inviting their friend to the wedding and he is welcome to bring a guest and they are not limiting him to bringing the person he is in a relationship with. If it was addressed to her and she was unable to attend he would be expected to go stag or not attend. Whereas by writing guest he is allowed to bring someone to hang out with if his FI is not able to attend.
This is my line of thought as well. We invited one of FI's groomsman with "and guest," because we didn't know he was seeing someone. He ultimately decided to bring his brother, rather than his girlfriend, because he felt as though he was being given a choice and preferred to bring the former (which we were perfectly fine with, since we would have loved to invite the brother if we had an unlimited number of invites to extend). I think by all means that someone in a relationship should be offered the opportunity to bring their SO should they wish, but I don't think there's anything wrong with not backing them into that corner either. I don't see it as people being rude and not caring to address you by name, I see it as them giving their friend the choice of whomever he/she wants to bring. Now if it gets to the point where he RSVPs for him and his SO and yet the couple STILL puts "and guest" on RSVP cards, then yeah, my opinion changes.

Eh, this sorta sends the message of "we just want a butt in the seat at the wedding" and basically says we aren't actually inviting your SO. It's almost like its own version of B-listing.

That was my point. That one half of the couple is who is important to them. The only reason the SO is being invited at all is because she is the SO. However, they want their friend to attend and they don't want their friend to feel like they have to come alone if the SO is unavailable. It can be uncomfortable going to a wedding alone when you don't know that many people or are really only friends with the bride or groom and their immediate family.

But you would never do this to a married person (i.e. Mrs. So and So and Guest). Which is why it makes no sense and clearly gives some indication that the non-married person's relationship is less valid/important.
*****quote box, where are youuuuu!?*** I'll co-sign this for sure.

No I wouldn't but like I said I'm just offering a different perspective. I invited a friend and her husband and children to my wedding (all listed on the invite) she opted to leave the husband and kids at home and brought her sister instead. I was totally fine with that.

Here's another perspective. I know people posting have met the couple and have some sort of relationship with them but in some cases the person doing the invites is working with the information they were given. For example DH gave me his guest list which included family, friends and coworkers as well as their SOs and children. I sent an invite to one of his co-workers who was engaged and not only did I not include his FI, I didn't include an "and guest". Why? Because I didn't know. He was listed as single on the guest list. I didn't find out he was engaged until after our wedding when DH mentioned the guy was having his wedding in the next couple of weeks.

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