So this is the first time I've posted on here, but I need to vent... I recently got engaged in December. I picked March 2015 for the wedding, but had to change it for his mom, so it's now in April 2015. So in little over a year I will be getting married.

. But, it seems like my FILs and FI are taking their time with everything, and I mean EVERYTHING. I am going to school full time along with working full time, so when I'm not doing homework or working, I am planning the wedding. I have asked for help many times and my family and his has been pretty good. But this is where the vent begins...
Towards the end of January I started planning. I would ask my FI for help, but he kind of just brushed it off. The colors of our wedding I had to pick, but let him pick them...if that makes sense. Then, I asked him if he could start his list and he was just like okay. Lets fast forward...
I scheduled my dress appointment at the first of Feb. for April, that way I have enough time for alterations and whatnot...(I HAVE to always plan ahead). Well after I made the appointment, I told my bridesmaids, that way they can come...FI's sister is a BM and when I told her, she asked if their step-mom could come too, so she can be apart of the wedding. I said yes. Well to be nice, I told his mom, who lives in a totally different state. She said she would come. So I have my mom, my three BMs, and his two moms...
Well his mom, real mom, said that she would help me out with the flowers. She's making ALL my bouquets, corsages, and the boutonnieres, which I am grateful! So she's doing that. I have centerpieces my friend is lending me for my reception. I have practically all that covered! Which I am happy for. Plus, my mom is getting my cakes.
Well a few weeks ago, my dad, who PROMISED me that he would help me buy my dress got fired from his job...He got in a huge fit with his boss. (Him and my mom are divorced.) So now I have to buy my dress... he won't talk to me about the dress thing at all... Whenever he talks to me, my dad, he would start a pity party about his life and so forth.. I don't need that right now. So I just kind of blow it off.
Also, all my FILs, are wanting me to just go to the JP or runaway and get married... I don't want to do that. They keep pestering me about that. His gparents either got married in a bowling alley, JP, or ranaway. I have a feeling they keep putting ideas in his head. Also, they keep telling me that we should do what we want to do and that they know we don't want a wedding... I keep asking FI if he wants a wedding, he tells me he wants me to just do what I want to do and if I'm happy he's happy...
Now this past weekend, my fiance and his sister were talking and got she offended when I bought a wine glass, for each of the mothers for their gifts, because I didn't get one for their step-mom... To be honest, I was going to get the step-mom and my dad's girlfriend different gifts. So I took some extra cash and bought one for her to please his sister... Maybe I shouldn't have? It was just aggravating...I know you get the gifts for step-parents, but I had other ones in mind, and the glasses were just for the birth mothers...
And yesterday, I asked FMIL if she could help my FI with his guest list, because I still haven't received it... She them proceeds to tell me that she's busy and that we still have time to do it later... I told her I didn't want to swamp her with that. I then texted my FI, "Do you think you can have your guest list done by this weekend?" He tells me, "Nope." Then tells me he may have 50 people, maybe less. He then says he won't have anything until this spring or summer because that's when he will see them all and he will find out who will be going and not... I then explained that not what you do... He gets in a mood with me, asking why we didn't do that this weekend. Every time I try to talk wedding with him, he gets irritated and says, "I can only handle so much at once..." OR he walks out of the room and does something else... Even when I talked to him about the budget... I tell him everything and I try to help him out with different things on what he's supposed to be in charge of and whatnot... He even got pissed off at me because I didn't really want an open bar...(my family aren't really drinkers...now his family, that's a different story...) I just don't have that kind of money. I told him we can do a thousand or two tab at the bar, but once it's out, the families can buy their own... FI still didn't like that. I got to the point where I said if he wants an open bar, he can pay for it, I'm not, I don't have that kind of money. Plus, I don't want to take care of drunk people at OUR wedding.
Sorry, but I seriously had to vent.

And I know our wedding isn't until April 2015, but I would rather plan ahead, and not get overwhelmed...
Re: I have to vent...
Are you sure you want the guest list now? And your dress? I am a planner, but this even makes me dizzy..... It seems to me you are getting very tied up in some details that you really don't need to even think about right now.
Check out the checklist the Knot supplies as it actually has a good reference for time frames of things to be done. There is no need to have a finalized guest list right now. Let your FMIL get it to you when she has it ready instead of harping on her. Please try not worry so much.
Plus no cash bar that's rude and not really thinking of your guests.
In addition: I would be way more concerned about my dad's well being after losing his job than my wedding dress for a day that is over a year away. I think you need to check your selfishness.
Also, just say no to cash bars.
Finally, it sounds to me like your fiancé is actually the one who wants to elope and/or have a simple JOP wedding, which is probably why his family keeps bringing that option up as what you both want deep down and why he's so hesitant to partake in your way-too-early planning efforts. You may want to sit down and have a serious talk with him about his wants and needs, because it seems to me like you've been steamrolling everyone throughout the start of this process and not really giving anyone time to come to terms with what they even want.
Take a step back, a deep breath and, like someone else said, take the opportunity to read The Knot's checklist and suggested timeline. Besides the fact that it's not necessary for you to get these things done this early, it's also sometimes not advisable to lock yourself in this early as things (relationships in the case of guest lists/bridal party; taste in the case of dresses/decor/gifts, etc) can change over time.
"What I got out of that was your dad lost his JOB aand you say you are kind of blowing that off"
teehee
I do not know why your Fi won't talk to you about everything, so I understand your stress. You want his input and for him to be apart of this planning. Tell him how you are feeling when he is not busy, but also tell him you will wait on the guest list.
About the presents for the mothers - very generous of you! Stick to your original plan and buy step-mom a different gift, as long as it isn't clearly less special. It's fine getting them different gifts - and tell people that you are getting mom and stepmom different gifts (better If you make it a personal, thoughtful gift). But, gifts for parents aren't required
You are complaining that your fiance isn't showing interest in the wedding, giving opinions, etc, but the one thing he actually very much wants at the wedding you are refusing to listen to. You say you don't want drunk people at "OUR" wedding but you seem to forget that it takes two people to create an "our". It's his wedding too. On average guys don't tend to be as interested in every little detail as we women are, but if you put down the few ideas he is interested in he will just shut down more when it comes to wedding details.
As for things like his guest list? Just breath... My fiance also took a long time getting his list together but it all turned out fine in the end. It's going to be ok. You are setting up the next year to be horrible and stressful the entire time. It doesn't need to be.
My FI and his stepmother are NOT close...he isn't even close with his dad...
And I do need to calm down. If I could, I would seriously delete this post. It was stupid on my part.
Thank you to those who were kind. I'm stressed with school, work, and wedding planning.
You have 13+ months to go. Go out and try having a life for a while. Forget wedding stuff... Take a break and enjoy relaxing with FI. It sounds like he is burnt out. Have a weekend to just enjoy being engaged before you dive back into planning. People plan weddings in 3-4 months all the time. You have triple and quadruple that! Relax.
Where I live, venues and vendors book 1year-1.5years in advance. I got engaged at the end of June 2012, and in January 2013 we started looking at reception venues for an October 2014 wedding. All of the venues we visited already had weddings booked for that month, and one had only a single Saturday date left. The summer of 2013 I started looking for photographers and MUA's and some were already booked for our date in 2014. So I don't think it is unreasonable for the OP to want to start lining these things up.
Also, OP needs to have a rough guest list when looking into venues, so that she and her FI can get quotes so they can determine if places are within their budget.
If OP is excited, I think it is fine to start looking at dresses and trying some on, but I wouldn't order anything until later this fall.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
Also, if you cannot afford your dress or any other aspect of your wedding on your own, then you should consider postponing the wedding until you can save up the money to pay for everything yourself.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
PS: About your Dad, you are lucky to have him there at your wedding. Mine died when I was 15, and I would have given anything for him to have JUST BEEN THERE!