I am a White American marrying a Mexican American, who came to the US when he was 10. His parents, aunts and uncles, and one set of grandparents have lived in Wisconsin for 15 years, but they are not "Americanized" at all and only the kids under 25 speak English. None of this is a problem for me and my family. I knew Spanish and lived in El Paso, TX for 3 years before I met my fiance, so I was already familiar with the culture. I eat the food, speak the language, listen to the music, dance.
I love my inlaws, their extended family, and their friends, and they get along great with my family. Even though our cultures are different, our families recognize we all share the same values. My fiance and I are both trying to be very considerate about culture and we are having a mixed culture wedding. Our families have both been very supportive of this.
We are having a biligual Mass, both bridesmaids and padrinos, American dinner with Mexican appetizer and tres leches cake, bilingual dj, mixed music, ect. There is one thing I did not see coming...the invitations and RSVPs.
We sent out a completely bilingual save the date, and my fiance's family was a little confused, but we explained the concept and they thought that was great. We sent out a completely bilingual invitation with a bilingual RSVP. The RSVP was a stamped post card, so all you have to do is write down how many people and put it in the mail. I asked my fiance if his family would know what to do, and he said yes. He also told his mom you are supposed to fill out the post card and send it back. But none of his family has sent back the RSVP.
I realize there is a cultural difference. In the American culture, verbal word doesn't mean anything, but written word means everything. From what I observe, the Mexican culture seems to be the opposite. Also, his family celebrations (weddings, quiceaneras, birthday parties) tend to be in cheaper venues with buffet style meals, so needing an exact count for a meal or seating chart would seem silly. But our wedding is in a country club with a sit down meal and we need a close count. How do I get his family to understand we need them to return the RSVP so we know how many tables and entrees are needed?