• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Wedding Party

MOH dilemma

I recently have been considering having two MOH, despite having a very small list of bridesmaids. (There's only 4 I can think of to stand up with me.) My problem began when someone pointed out to me that my best friend, who I've already asked to be my MOH, lives in another state and won't be able to come up for many of the things a MOH traditionally helps with. I still want her as my MOH, but many of the duties are falling on the shoulders of my next best friend and I have been considering asking her to also be a MOH. The reasoning being she is doing a lot of the leg work. i know I need to sit them both down regardless of whether I have one or two MOH and go over details but before that I would like to get some advice on the dilemma of the two MOHs. Please and thank you for your advice.

Re: MOH dilemma

  • I recently have been considering having two MOH, despite having a very small list of bridesmaids. (There's only 4 I can think of to stand up with me.) My problem began when someone pointed out to me that my best friend, who I've already asked to be my MOH, lives in another state and won't be able to come up for many of the things a MOH traditionally helps with. I still want her as my MOH, but many of the duties are falling on the shoulders of my next best friend and I have been considering asking her to also be a MOH. The reasoning being she is doing a lot of the leg work. i know I need to sit them both down regardless of whether I have one or two MOH and go over details but before that I would like to get some advice on the dilemma of the two MOHs. Please and thank you for your advice.
    What duties? The only duties of anyone in the WP is to buy the right dress/attire (which you will know is in their budget because you will have asked them each privately their budget before going shopping and you will have picked something at or below the lowest price point); showing up on-time and sober; and smiling for photos. That's it.

    Anyone -- or no one -- may plan and throw you showers or parties. The only rule is that you can't throw them yourself.

    Your MOH will probably be the one who holds your bouquet during the ceremony and will also likely be the one who bustles your dress, but not necessarily -- I bustled a friend's wife's wedding dress and I wasn't in the WP. 
    Anniversary

    image
    I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • Have the MOH that you were going to select. Don't have a backup one to do the "tasks" you don't want forgotten.
    image
    PrettyGirlLost
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You MOH isn't required to do anything but show up the day of your wedding in the dress you picked. 

    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • LondonLisaLondonLisa London, UK member
    Seventh Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I'm confused as well because the MOH/ bridesmaids have no other duties than to show up in the correct dress. 

    Choose your MOH based on who you want to stand up next to you, not who can be a better brideslave! That seems like the worst reason to choose someone.
    doeydoPrettyGirlLost
  • I need more info about all of the duties.
  • Anyone can offer to host a bridal shower, batchlorette party, help making things, lend support, and listen to whatever you have to say. People do these things because they want to. No one is required to do anything.
    <a href="http://www.thenest.com/?utm_source=ticker&utm_medium=HTML&utm_campaign=tickers" title="Free Recipes"><img src="http://global.thenest.com/tickers/tt132806.aspx" alt="Anniversary" border="0" /></a>

    </br>
    <a href="http://daisypath.com/"><img src="http://dvcf.daisypath.com/QJjOm5.png" width="400" height="80" border="0" alt="Daisypath Vacation tickers" /></a>

    </br>
    <a href=http://i43.tinypic.com/j0za0j.jpg[/></a>

    </br>
    <a href="http://cloud9weddingbio.weebly.com/">Planning Bio</a>
    lc07
  • Grabows14Grabows14 member
    250 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2014
    mrandmrsfritz - Don't let current society's way of making weddings into a production stop you from asking her to be your MOH.... if she found out that you wanted to ask her to your MOH but decided not to because she wouldn't be able to "devote" her time to you enough, then it would be very hurtful... She means a lot to you, that's why you want her there as a WITNESS (on your license) to your marriage.... 

    ETA: grammar sucks after a 12 hr mid-shift.
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    The only actual duties any attendant has are to show up on time, sober, and in good spirits, wearing the designated outfit.  There are no things an attendant "traditionally does" unless s/he chooses to take them upon him/herself on his/her own time and dime.

    Don't make "who can do things for me" the criteria for choosing an MOH.  Choose the person you would really like to have at your side, regardless of whether or not she goes dress shopping with you, dress fittings with you, throws parties for you, or anything else.
    lc07
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards