Pet Peeve: "My big day!"

happymellow · February 2014

Okay, does it drive anyone else nuts that David Tutera perpetuates this? His show was awesome when it was "My Fair Wedding," but since they've changed the layout, the show isn't very good anymore. During "My Fair Wedding" though, he always said it was the bride's day and completely ignored the groom. I HATED that part about the show.

HisGirlFriday13 · February 2014

I agree with PPs that it depends on context. DH's grandmother gave me no end of grief about our Catholic Mass until I said, through gritted teeth and clenched jaw, 'Well, yes, I understand that *YOU* don't like this, but it is *OUR* wedding and *OUR* day and *OUR* decision, so quite frankly, I don't care that you don't like it. It's not up for discussion.' But the bride friends I have who have said, 'It's my day and it's about what I want!' make me roll my eyes practically out of my damn head.

grumbledore · February 2014

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

tammym1001 · February 2014

grumbledore said:

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

I'm just curious why "big day" bothers you. My wedding day will be a huge day in my life. Probably one of the most important days that I will have. That makes it a big day. I'm hoping it will be an extremely important day in my FI's life as well so it would be a big day for him too. Do you think that a wedding isn't a big day in someone's life or is there another reason it bothers you?

Inkdancer · February 2014

tammym1001 said:

grumbledore said:

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

I'm just curious why "big day" bothers you. My wedding day will be a huge day in my life. Probably one of the most important days that I will have. That makes it a big day. I'm hoping it will be an extremely important day in my FI's life as well so it would be a big day for him too. Do you think that a wedding isn't a big day in someone's life or is there another reason it bothers you?

I don't know about @grumbledore but I hate the attitude that the day I get married is literally my biggest life achievement. What about the day I graduate college? Buy my first house? Give birth to my first child? What about if I have other achievements like going to Mars? And if I don't get married, have I somehow failed as a person?

I mean yes, my wedding is very important to me, and it's a very important step in our lives together. But it's not about a day, it's about the beginning of a lifetime of commitment to each other. One day does not a marriage make.

PennyBlossom2311 · February 2014

It bugs the mess out of me when brides go on and on about "their big day" or "Nothing better mess up on MY day" Ummmmm, you're not the only one standing up there sweetie. FI and I see it as our day and the only thing that could ruin it would be if one of us wasn't there. Everything else is just extra. As long as we go to bed that day married, I'm good to go.

grumbledore · February 2014

tammym1001 said:

grumbledore said:

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

I'm just curious why "big day" bothers you. My wedding day will be a huge day in my life. Probably one of the most important days that I will have. That makes it a big day. I'm hoping it will be an extremely important day in my FI's life as well so it would be a big day for him too. Do you think that a wedding isn't a big day in someone's life or is there another reason it bothers you?

It sounds ridiculously childish to me. I know it's silly, which is why it's called a pet peeve. No one disputes that it is an important day, it just annoys the hell out of me.

tammym1001 · February 2014

grumbledore said:

tammym1001 said:

grumbledore said:

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

I'm just curious why "big day" bothers you. My wedding day will be a huge day in my life. Probably one of the most important days that I will have. That makes it a big day. I'm hoping it will be an extremely important day in my FI's life as well so it would be a big day for him too. Do you think that a wedding isn't a big day in someone's life or is there another reason it bothers you?

It sounds ridiculously childish to me. I know it's silly, which is why it's called a pet peeve. No one disputes that it is an important day, it just annoys the hell out of me.

Fair enough. I was just curious. While it is a huge day for me, I don't think I've ever actually called it our big day. I just say our wedding day.

thisismynickname2 · February 2014

Inkdancer said:

tammym1001 said:

grumbledore said:

Yeah it's not the bridecentric aspect. It's literally the phrase "big day" that I despise.

I'm just curious why "big day" bothers you. My wedding day will be a huge day in my life. Probably one of the most important days that I will have. That makes it a big day. I'm hoping it will be an extremely important day in my FI's life as well so it would be a big day for him too. Do you think that a wedding isn't a big day in someone's life or is there another reason it bothers you?

I don't know about @grumbledore but I hate the attitude that the day I get married is literally my biggest life achievement. What about the day I graduate college? Buy my first house? Give birth to my first child? What about if I have other achievements like going to Mars? And if I don't get married, have I somehow failed as a person?

I mean yes, my wedding is very important to me, and it's a very important step in our lives together. But it's not about a day, it's about the beginning of a lifetime of commitment to each other. One day does not a marriage make.

This reminds me of a story. At work, we have a newsletter and we always feature some people with a questionnaire. One of the questions is, "What is your greatest achievement?" and a young-ish woman (maybe late 20's?) answered with, "Marrying the love of my life!"

Oh, honey...

Yes, you have failed at life if you don't get married, obviously!

312Emily · February 2014

I could see it being used to really rein someone in after they make your wedding about them.

Example: The night before my mom's wedding, my aunt, her MOH, made my mom sleep on the floor (no medical need... just being rude) and spilled orange soda all over my mom's makeup day-of. I would have had no problem, if in my mom's shoes, throwing out a big "stop making things difficult on MY BIG DAY."

SJM7538 · February 2014

Going along with this... When I was planning I HATED when people would say "you're the bride!."

For example... I told my girls to get a black dress. That was it. No other stipulations on their dresses. But they still insisted on shopping all together so we all went to David's one day. They all tried on dresses and I said I loved them all and it was their decision what they wanted. And all I heard all afternoon was "but you're the bride! It's what you want"

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