September 2014 Weddings


OK,  sorry ahead of time,  but  I need to vent a little.   First,  one of my BM is constantly bringing  up my shower.   It is supposed to be a surprise.   However, she keeps texting  me things about the invitations were ordered,  they arrived & she can't  wait to show them to me in several months, she was talking to FSIL about crafty things, etc.   I pretty  much just ignore it, but it is just getting to the point of being annoying.   I know I should tell her to stop bringing it up, but I don't  want to come across as a bitch.   But really, the surprise is going to get blown if it keeps getting brought up,  because something will slip.   She already let slip that my MOH is doing the paper  goods, to which I said,  "oh, so it is at a place where plates & such aren't provided".   Then from talking to someone else who knows about it, I think I've figured out when it is.   Not an exact date, but month.   That was purely by accident. 

Then my mom messages me that someone she invited, doesn't want to sit with someone else that is invited.   And this person won't come if that is the case.   My response was that it is too early to deal with drama like this.   It clearly isn't important to be at my wedding if the person is threatening not to come over their seat.   Fine, don't come is my thought.   Be adults.   Arrghhh!! 

I can't  deal with 7 1/2 months of this, yet I don't want to be a bitch. 

Re: Annoyances

  • Yikes, that's no fun!

    To BM I would definitely have a chat with her in person. "BM, I love you very much and I'm soo excited that you're so excited about everything. But my shower is supposed to be a suprise and I really want to keep it that way. I would really appreciate it if you don't share any details with me." Because she is probably really excited about it, but if you don't say anything you're just going to get more and more annoyed with her.

    Regarding that lady refusing to sit by someone else, frankly she sounds like a bratty middle schooler and I would have the urge to say something very snarky. Realistically though if she's someone you/your mom would like in attendance I would tell her that you've made a note on the seating chart regarding her concerns.

    Good luck making it to September!
  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Why does it have to be a surprise? The weddings that I've been a bridesmaid in, we consulted the bride about the shower. Like "We think it's going to be at this location- you know where your guests live so is that a reasonable distance for them all? Which Saturday works best for your work schedule? Do you prefer lunch foods of breakfast foods, etc?" It should work for the bride and what she likes so I don't see why it has to be a surprise at all.



  • Girl!  

    There are so many things for you to worry about for your wedding and a shower shouldn't be one of them.  Your friends and family should be giving you this party because they love you and they should be doing all the work.  You should (gently) remind them that you have a lot on you plate right now and redirect their issues back to the person hosting the shower.  
    photo a9462148-4aa2-44d9-90ce-7f8b4d94b393_zps20ae9070.jpg
  • Hey ladies... Thanks for the feedback.

    @Simky906, funny you say it is middle schooler behavior... that is the population I deal with on a regular basis!  And I assign seats in my classroom.. and RARELY do I get the "I Don't want to sit next to him/her" business.  

    As a general update regarding the seating, I spoke to my mom again tonight & now it is looking like this person might be off the guest list entirely!!!  Really, it is more drama that middle school!  And I know, because I teach there EVERY DAY!  I told my mom that it is really putting me in a awkward place because she already received a StD.  So unless this person is doing something directly to my mom, I would prefer to keep her on the list.  I feel like my mom is being put in the middle.

    @jenna8984, I don't know why the shower has to be a surprise.  I guess it is what they want.  They have the list, so they know where post people are coming from to have picked the place.  What I find completely ironic on the whole situation, the BM who is doing the majority of the planning basically planned her entire shower and we just executed her plans & paid for it.  

    Not like I want another thing to plan, but a heads up about the date would be appreciated.  I spoke to the BM who is doing the majority of the shower planning and said I will be very upset at everyone if I show up somewhere for my shower looking like a mess.  It will be over the summer & I typically don't do hair or make-up, it's just too hot!  I run around in shorts & tanks  I just want to be able to look presentable.  I said I didn't want to know the date now, but a heads up as it gets closer would be greatly appreciated.

  • You're not being a bitch. seems like everyone is making it about them and not about making it flow the easiest for you. You have to speak up. hope it all works out

  • Wow.. I got a buzz kill from this post. I would be totally excited to share and talk all things wedding Nd shower. My MoH and I talk everyday about the shower and ideas. The place is a surprise but I picked the theme. Be appreciative is my opinion.
  • Wow.. I got a buzz kill from this post. I would be totally excited to share and talk all things wedding Nd shower. My MoH and I talk everyday about the shower and ideas. The place is a surprise but I picked the theme. Be appreciative is my opinion.
    I am appreciative for my girls & all they are doing.   My outlook is if it suppose to be a surprise & I am not to have any say, don't discuss it with me.   It is almost like they are dangling the carrot so to speak.   I understand & appreciate their excitement. 

    I will say, since my last conversation with the BMW, the talk has stopped. 
  • I see your point. Glad to hear it has stopped :) many blessings to you!
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