BP Reception Seating

LMarsh86 · February 2014

I still have five months to go, but I'm already stressing out about how to seat our bridal party at our wedding! My fiance and I each have four attendants. Two of his are his brothers, each of whom have two kids (ages 4-9). Two of mine are my sisters, each of whom also have two kids (ages 1-5).

I've never been a fan of head tables. I've sat at one as a BM and was really uncomfortable looking out over the entire reception and facing no one. I've also been in a wedding that follows what seems to be the more common trend of having a sweetheart table for the bride and groom, and seating the wedding party together with their guests. I think it's less awkward for the bridal party and is nice for their dates who, if they don't know anyone else at the wedding, won't be left stranded at a table full of strangers. And honestly with the craziness of the wedding day, I love the idea of a nice cozy table for two for my new husband and I. This is the route my fiance and I are strongly considering.

The only problem is the kiddos. His brothers' kids are probably old enough that if we stick them at a kids table without their parents, they'll be fine. But one sister has already asked how that would work if neither parent would be left to sit with their kids through dinner. I'm worried this might be an issue with the other sister as well. I feel like my only other option is splitting the bridal party into two tables (BMs and guests at one table, GMs and guests at the other) and including my sisters' small children at them. But that's not ideal either because it would result in my two BMs that don't have kids having to sit through a meal with four small children. And honestly, I want my sisters to be able to relax and enjoy their dinner with their husbands.

Any suggestions??

(By the way "don't invite kids" is absolutely NOT an option for us. We have more than a dozen nieces and nephews between us and we can't imagine our wedding without them all there!

)

tammym1001 · February 2014

Why not sit your sister's and their children at a table with other family and put your other BM's at a different table. There isn't any reason that your entire bridal party needs to sit at the same table if you are having a sweetheart table.

I am seating my sister/MOH and her two daughters (also BM's) at a table with my parents. My other BM will be at a table with her FI and some of our other friends. FI's best man will be at a table with his SO and their other friends.

Maggie0829 · February 2014

I think you should have the kids sitting with their parents. I really hate kids tables.

For instance sit the GMs who have kids, their SOs and their kids at one table. Or you could split up the two GMs and have them sit at separate tables with their SOs and their kids and other people they know. Same with your sisters. Just because people are in the wedding party doesn't mean that they need to be treated any differently then any other guest at your reception. Keep the family together and sit then at a table with others that they know.

delujm0 · February 2014

FI and i are doing a sweetheart table and the WP will be spread out among the other tables, seated with their friends and family. The WP doesn't need to all sit together.

vmj23 · February 2014

I'd just do the sweetheart table for you and your husband, and put the rest of the bridal party amongst the other guests. No reason they all have to be at one table, put them at tables with their families or friends.

OliveOilsMom · February 2014

You have two options, both of which I have been apart of and thought was great: have a table of BMs and a table of GMs, with their dates & kids OR just put your BMs and GMs throughout the reception room with people they know and would enjoy sitting with. If all of your BMs are friends with each other and the GMs too, then the first option would be great. However, if your BPs don't really know each other, they would probably prefer to sit around the reception room with the people they do know.

LMarsh86 · February 2014

Thanks, everyone! I've been leaning away from seating the whole BP separately because I didn't want to downplay their importance, but since so many are suggesting it I guess it's not all that uncommon! I just don't want my non-sibling BM's to feel like they're being demoted if I kicked them back to the "drunk HS/College friends" tables because they will probably a bit removed from the center of the action, and they are as important to me as my sisters! All four BMs do know each other well and like each other a lot, but the two who aren't family are friends with plenty of other people we're inviting. But maybe they'd prefer setting with friends after all because the friends tables are always the most fun!

tammym1001 · February 2014

Thanks, everyone! I've been leaning away from seating the whole BP separately because I didn't want to downplay their importance, but since so many are suggesting it I guess it's not all that uncommon! I just don't want my non-sibling BM's to feel like they're being demoted if I kicked them back to the "drunk HS/College friends" tables because they will probably a bit removed from the center of the action, and they are as important to me as my sisters! All four BMs do know each other well and like each other a lot, but the two who aren't family are friends with plenty of other people we're inviting. But maybe they'd prefer setting with friends after all because the friends tables are always the most fun!

Not gonna lie, if I was in a friend's wedding I would definitely prefer to sit with my friends than at a table with small children.

doeydo · February 2014

tammym1001 said:

Thanks, everyone! I've been leaning away from seating the whole BP separately because I didn't want to downplay their importance, but since so many are suggesting it I guess it's not all that uncommon! I just don't want my non-sibling BM's to feel like they're being demoted if I kicked them back to the "drunk HS/College friends" tables because they will probably a bit removed from the center of the action, and they are as important to me as my sisters! All four BMs do know each other well and like each other a lot, but the two who aren't family are friends with plenty of other people we're inviting. But maybe they'd prefer setting with friends after all because the friends tables are always the most fun!

Not gonna lie, if I was in a friend's wedding I would definitely prefer to sit with my friends than at a table with small children.

I'd rather be seated with teens and adults than with some kids. I am not a 'kid person'.

Bubblegum5586 · February 2014

Definitely go with the sweetheart table! You will love those precious few moments with your hubby!

As far as everyone else. I sat our bridal party with the rest of the guests. So they were mixed through all the tables. This way you can seat the kids with the families and not a separate kid's table. Everyone knew they were in the wedding party so it didn't make them feel less important and I just tried to keep those tables closer to the front vs the back... but a few ended up in the back just due to logistics

ei34 · February 2014

Another vote for splitting up the WP and just seating them with guests that they know and are friendly with.
Hubby and I had a sweetheart table and our 6 WP members split across 5 different tables, depending who they were closest to among the guests. I'd recommend this set-up. Good luck!

melbenso · March 2014

Speaking as someone who got relegated to a "kids" table as an adult (I was out of college, but was the child of someone there), don't do that. I was offended that my brother and I weren't sitting anywhere near our parents, even though we were adults and thus both perfectly capable of sitting at a separate table. It was also kind of annoying to be the default person responsible for the 8-year-old cousin sitting at the table with us.

Depending on the table options at your venue, you might not be able to seat everyone that would make sense in one group together at a table. I know our venue has tables for 8-10, but doesn't recommend seating more than 8 at the tables for comfort sake. You can seat people of larger groups at adjoining tables. Perhaps, FI's siblings, their spouses and kids at one table; your siblings, their spouses and kids at another (you could put parents in too if they would fit), and the other members of the bridal party and their dates at a third - along with some other close friends they know if necessary to fill out the table.

wandajune6 · March 2014

We're doing a sweetheart table too as most of the wedding party has kids who will be in attendance.

We're having a wedding full of kids. We'll put the teenagers at a table together but have gone back and forth on the idea of putting the younger kids with them. It seemed like a brilliant idea at first until we were reminded how awful grumpy 6-8 year olds can be.

We're putting members of the WP near people they know or I think they'd like. They don't all know each other so I figure that they'd have more fun sitting with other people.

HisGirlFriday13 · March 2014

We seated our WP (with their SOs) at tables throughout the reception either with people they knew or with people we thought they'd like.

My SIL/brother/nephew (BM, musician, RB) sat with my parents and the priest and a family friend.

DH's brother and nephew (a GM and RB) sat with family.

The BM and other GM, high school friends of DH, sat with other high school friends.

And so on. Since their duties ended when the photos were over, at that point they were just guests and I wanted them to have a good time.

AddieCake · March 2014

I think the kids should sit with their parents.

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