June 2014 Weddings

So frustrated...

CheleLynCheleLyn
100 Love Its 100 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
member
edited February 2014 in June 2014 Weddings
If you make it through this, thank you! This ended up longer than I intended 

I am going through bridesmaids like crazy!

When we were first engaged, we planned a July 2013 wedding, so I chose two bridesmaids. One gave me all kinds of crazy stress...from the cost of her dress (which was BELOW what she said her budget was) and I eventually chose a dress on clearance for less than $40 but she still complained, the color, the time of year. Basically everything. At this same time, my absolute best friend and I had a huge falling out so she was out.

We ended up postponing the wedding to this year because there were loose ends that needed tying up before we could be married. That bridesmaid then decided that we weren't as close as she thought we should be for her to be in my wedding so she bowed out. Fine, whatevs.

Well, as planning progressed, J decided he wanted to change the color scheme from ivory and purple (wisteria) to black and white. Fine, I prefer it and the girls will get extra wear from their dresses. SO...he decided on his groomsmen and landed on SIX. So I came up with 6 girls. One was my oldest friends was going to be a bm but OMG she caused me so much stress...I knew her finances were tight so i offered to buy her dress and pay for 2 nights at the hotel. She disagreed with every single aspect I was planning...flowers, cake flavors, my dress. I eventually just decided to not talk about it to her. Then she made a comment about taking her teeth out at the reception during dinner to eat. I was mortified that would happen. J was at the end of his rope listening to me complaining about her complaining and this was his last straw...she causes you way too much stress, she can't just be happy for you, you need to get rid of her.   Well, eventually she ended up in a bad financial situation so I just told her that I knew how bad things were for her right now and I would release her from the financial burden of being in the wedding (I even offered a crap "job" so she could feel included). I knew with her it wouldn't be a friendship ender, so things were fine. Fast forward to last month, I opened my mouth and said something about her husband that she didnt like and we are no longer friends. I'm actually fine about it...we had become different people over the years and it was time.

NOW...my 15 yo daughter has decided she absolutely does not want to be in the wedding. She has been back and forth on it and I finally said fine, I'm not going to fight with you over this anymore, but there will be no more changing your mind. I dont have time for you to keep changing your mind.  She just doesnt want to do it...really, it's fine, i'm not going to force her.

I heard from my out of state MOH yesterday and she asked to be given til the end of March bc some things have come up and she just isn't sure she can afford a dress, plane ticket, and a couple nights in a hotel. I understand...I really do...but man, am I disappointed!

I'm trying to stay positive that things will work out. I feel terible bc I just feel like things are falling apart. I have a friend that has offered to stand in my daughters place...and she's so excited to!  I know a lot of gals that have offered to be bridesmaid if I need them...they have known J for YEARS and are all good friends of his (nothing on the sly, it's all good...he has a fantastic group of friends). I just feel like the people I wanted most are letting me down. Even though I DO understand the situation with MOH. And I know the sides dont have to be even, so if they end up not being, well, that'll have to be fine.

Trying to just breathe and have faith that things will work out. I know they will, but I just HATE when things don't go according to plan during the planning...I expect things to go "wrong" at the wedding and reception and I'm actually cool with THAT. At the end of the day J and I will be married FINALLY, after 23 years :)

I need a hot bath...and a night out with my girls


~*~June 21, 2014~*~


Re: So frustrated...

  • Sorry for all your frustrations!  Would it help if you just let go of having even numbers on each side in the WP?  It is not unusual, and in the end could save you a lot of frustration.

    I only have 2 women, FI has 4 men.  It never even occurred to me to try to find two more to even things out.  I have to say, there has been no drama with my two ladies.  

    Otherwise, a hot bath, some wine (or a lot), and put it out of your head for a few days.
    20130121-125529.jpg 
      Wedding Countdown Ticker
  • If it comes to it, I'd be fine with the sides being uneven. In the grand scheme of things I know it isn't important. :)
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~


  • So sorry to hear about all your stress! I've had a few bridesmaid problems, but it sounds like you've really been through it. Just focus on the fact that it's your wedding. You're going to finally get to marry that special someone and in the end, you'll be so excited about that, that it really won't matter how many people are standing up there. You'll feel like it's just the two of you, and that's what is important!
  • melbelleupmelbelleup
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Second Anniversary First Answer
    member
    edited February 2014
    Ugh that really sucks! I just found out recently that my one BM won't be able to attend my wedding either. BUT she's still able to attend her own, her honeymoon, her brother's wedding and her friend's wedding..... yet she's my 2nd cousin and I've known her since 8th grade... we even went to the same college and hung out regularly... needless to say, I'm upset, my parents are disappointed as are hers. But, she got a new job and is moving to Texas so I can't really be mad at her, especially because I wasn't going to attend her wedding until I found out she's moving (she didn't know that though). ugh!!! I hate when life gets in the way of plans. Seriously.

    ETA: I wasn't going to go to hers because my shower is the week after her wedding and I live 8 hours away from my home town currently. But now, putting on my big girl pants I'm going to her wedding, then 4 days later driving back up for us to get our marriage license and my shower
    Daisypath Wedding tickers
  • Thanks, girls :)

    Still waiting to hear of MOH will be able to make it, fingers crossed but understanding if not. There are still girls saying they would gladly be a 6th bridesmaid if she can't come, but...idk. I don't even know who would be moh if she can't come. I think if she can't then there won't be a moh, just bridesmaids, which is ok, too. I really do love all the girls equally for different reasons and wouldn't want to put any of them above the others, kwim.

    Anyways, I'm focusing on the good things and knowing that no matter who is there or not, it's going to be an amazing day :)
    ~*~June 21, 2014~*~


    thefuturemrssisk
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