Rude wedding coordinator...

Re: Rude wedding coordinator...

• AddieCake member

  

  March 2014

  I would find a different venue. Also, am I reading correctly that you are planning to have 2 ceremonies? Also, I don't think 100 guests is "intimate."

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• HisGirlFriday13 member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  Please page a KG and have them change your user name to something that isn't your e-mail address. 

  
  

  ETA: I think I agree with Addie, because she's usually right, but your post was tl;dr. Paragraphs are your friend, my dear.

  

  
  

  
  

  I'm gonna go with 'not my circus, not my monkeys.'

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• pinkcow13 member

  

  March 2014

  Okay 2 things. Are you having 2 weddings? Please don't do that. What are you going to tell your guests at the second wedding? Because they will not be attending a wedding being that you're already married. And having a do over would just be weird and a production at that point.
  
  2nd- if you want your small intimidate wedding, then go for it. How is that being selfish? Is anyone going to pay for a big wedding? Because if not, then no you are not being selfish. But regardless of whether or not someone is paying, it is up to you and FI the type of wedding you would like to have. So if you decide to just go for the bigger wedding- ditch that venue ASAP. If they treat you like that now, how will they treat you as you plan your wedding with them?

                               

  

  
  

   

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• Inkdancer member

  

  March 2014

  Please don't let your family push you into doing something you don't want to do... let alone how it breaks your budget!
  
  If you really want to get married with 100 people in attendance, go for it. But a small destination wedding is perfectly okay, and your family doesn't get to decide that for you.
  
  That said, this venue sounds weird. Why would she be super nice to one bride and then extremely rude to another? Very odd to me, definitely sends up some red flags.
  

  

  

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• NavyBlue143 member

  

  March 2014

  I got married at a great venue outside of Houston. It was on the beach, holds about 125 people, tables and chairs included. Less than 1k for the rental. It's not very fancy, but it's nice. Pm me if you want the information.
  
  But also, don't let people bully you into having their dream wedding. Have yours. If you want a destination wedding with only a few people, do it.

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  March 2014

  I really feel for you. I also hate it when someone appears to dislike me but I can't figure out what I could have possibly done to deserve it. I'll obsess about it until it's resolved. I find the best thing I can do is to assume there is some other story going on that has nothing to do with me (like her boyfriend just broke up with her five minutes before you came, and her boss wouldn't let her leave for the day to take care of things... and apparently the rest of her week is ruined because of it)
  

  
  

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• Fairyjen1 member

  

  March 2014

        It's fine to have a small intimate destination wedding and call it good. That's exactly what we are doing. I was stressed out about planning a larger wedding, mostly about who to cut from the guest list. Also when we looked at the numbers it didn't seem to make a lot of sense to spend so much for one day. 

  
  

      We decided on an immediate family only destination wedding at Disneyland. We will have about 17 people total including us and the best part is they take care of everything and all I do is show up in the dress. 

  
  

       Sure, a few people are disappointed, but they will get over it. I've only had one person complain we were picking our destination over having them there, ironically it was someone we probably wouldn't have invited anyway, but you know what, they aren't paying for it and they will get over it. Don't let people bully you into something you aren't comfortable with. 

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• LondonLisa member

  

  March 2014

  It is perfectly fine to have a small destination wedding with your friends- that sounds great.

  
  

  It is perfectly fine to have a wedding in Houston with 100 people- you get to have all your family and friends there.

  
  

  However, you do not get to do both!

  
  

  You get married once and that can either be in a destination wedding OR in Houston. Please don't do a fake wedding in Houston to placate your family. Don't let your family pressure you into a decision. It sounds like you would prefer a destination wedding. 

  
  

  I think you need to make a decision one way or the other (Houston or destination wedding) and then just stick with it. If your family guilt trips you, just say "Susan, we are getting married in X and that decision is final." and then just bean dip them.

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• tammym1001 member

  

  March 2014

  Please don't let your family push you into doing something you don't want to do... let alone how it breaks your budget!
  
  If you really want to get married with 100 people in attendance, go for it. But a small destination wedding is perfectly okay, and your family doesn't get to decide that for you.
  
  That said, this venue sounds weird. Why would she be super nice to one bride and then extremely rude to another? Very odd to me, definitely sends up some red flags.
  

  
  

  I watched this happen when I went for my cake tasting appointment. I got there early and she had just sat down with a very young bride who was on a budget. She spent about 10 minutes with her and cut her off every time she asked a question. Then the girl told her that she had to talk to her mom because she was paying for the cake and the lady said "ok here's a quote" and sent her out the door. I was prepared for her to be completely rude to me and instead she was the sweetest person in the world and spent an hour and a half with me going over cake designs and prices. Some people in the wedding industry judge people on their looks, age, etc and just assume that they can't afford something or they don't want to work with them. It's unfortunate, but it happens.
  

  
  

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• Inkdancer member

  

  March 2014

  tammym1001 said:

  Please don't let your family push you into doing something you don't want to do... let alone how it breaks your budget!
  
  If you really want to get married with 100 people in attendance, go for it. But a small destination wedding is perfectly okay, and your family doesn't get to decide that for you.
  
  That said, this venue sounds weird. Why would she be super nice to one bride and then extremely rude to another? Very odd to me, definitely sends up some red flags.
  

  
  

  I watched this happen when I went for my cake tasting appointment. I got there early and she had just sat down with a very young bride who was on a budget. She spent about 10 minutes with her and cut her off every time she asked a question. Then the girl told her that she had to talk to her mom because she was paying for the cake and the lady said "ok here's a quote" and sent her out the door. I was prepared for her to be completely rude to me and instead she was the sweetest person in the world and spent an hour and a half with me going over cake designs and prices. Some people in the wedding industry judge people on their looks, age, etc and just assume that they can't afford something or they don't want to work with them. It's unfortunate, but it happens.
  

  Yeah, I've experienced that when shopping for other big-ticket items. Sometimes I deliberately go to a furniture store in older clothes. Anybody who helps me in spite of how I look gets a very large commission check that day.
  

  

  

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• MandyMost member

  

  March 2014

  Can you have your mom call back and say she'd like to come for another tour with her daughter, and review the quotes that were sent so you can ask any questions? And then you and your mom go together, with the quotes from your mom in hand (I'd just ignore the ones they sent you), and see how you're treated?

  
  

  Maybe it has nothing to do with you, and the coordinator was just having a bad day. And maybe there's something that your mom said or did to get better pricing that you just didn't know. 

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• jalyndani member

  

  March 2014 edited March 2014

  @lauren9784@yahoo.com  I'm from the Houston area...I'm dying to know which venue this was. I think I researched every single "intimate" wedding venue in all of Southeast Texas before selecting mine, and I would love to know which one was so damn flaky to you. 

  
  

  ETA: Also, depending on what you consider "destination", I might have a suggestion for you that would fit both the "destination" criteria but also be "intimate for 100 people". Come back to the thread! 

  

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• APDSS22 member

  

  March 2014

  Inkdancer said:

  tammym1001 said:

  Please don't let your family push you into doing something you don't want to do... let alone how it breaks your budget!
  
  If you really want to get married with 100 people in attendance, go for it. But a small destination wedding is perfectly okay, and your family doesn't get to decide that for you.
  
  That said, this venue sounds weird. Why would she be super nice to one bride and then extremely rude to another? Very odd to me, definitely sends up some red flags.
  

  
  

  I watched this happen when I went for my cake tasting appointment. I got there early and she had just sat down with a very young bride who was on a budget. She spent about 10 minutes with her and cut her off every time she asked a question. Then the girl told her that she had to talk to her mom because she was paying for the cake and the lady said "ok here's a quote" and sent her out the door. I was prepared for her to be completely rude to me and instead she was the sweetest person in the world and spent an hour and a half with me going over cake designs and prices. Some people in the wedding industry judge people on their looks, age, etc and just assume that they can't afford something or they don't want to work with them. It's unfortunate, but it happens.
  

  Yeah, I've experienced that when shopping for other big-ticket items. Sometimes I deliberately go to a furniture store in older clothes. Anybody who helps me in spite of how I look gets a very large commission check that day.
  

  @Inkdancer H and I don't look like we have money because we don't spend it on our clothes and I've also seen this.  My MIL goes somewhere and salespeople trip over themselves to be helpful, he and I get ignored by shopper stalkers even when they are standing around not making a sale.
  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  March 2014

  MandyMost said:

  Can you have your mom call back and say she'd like to come for another tour with her daughter, and review the quotes that were sent so you can ask any questions? And then you and your mom go together, with the quotes from your mom in hand (I'd just ignore the ones they sent you), and see how you're treated?

  
  

  Maybe it has nothing to do with you, and the coordinator was just having a bad day. And maybe there's something that your mom said or did to get better pricing that you just didn't know. 

  
  Do This

  
  

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• afox007 member

  

  March 2014

  Depending on your age it could be that your sister went with your mom and you went with your FI. I went to look at a venue with my friend who was 23 at the time and her mom. Her mom stayed in the parking lot to finish her cigarette before joining us and when it was just the two of us the coordinator was extremely rude. We told her my friends budget was 15k and she just rolled her eyes as if we were being overly optimistic then went on and on about what else needed to be included ie dress, cake dj, photographer etc. As soon as her mom walked in the attitude was gone and she was sweet as pie, brought us champagne, and gave us a real tour. 

  
  

  Needless to say the Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde routine resulted in my friend going with a different venue. 

  

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• Vivandiere8 member

  

  March 2014

  Depending on your age it could be that your sister went with your mom and you went with your FI. I went to look at a venue with my friend who was 23 at the time and her mom. Her mom stayed in the parking lot to finish her cigarette before joining us and when it was just the two of us the coordinator was extremely rude. We told her my friends budget was 15k and she just rolled her eyes as if we were being overly optimistic then went on and on about what else needed to be included ie dress, cake dj, photographer etc. As soon as her mom walked in the attitude was gone and she was sweet as pie, brought us champagne, and gave us a real tour. 

  
  

  Needless to say the Dr Jekyll Mr Hyde routine resulted in my friend going with a different venue. 

  Wow... I hope your friend left a review for this wedding coordinator...

  
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  March 2014

  You need to go shopping for venues - if you have decided to have your wedding locally.  When daughter and I were venue shopping, we were treated horribly rudely by a very established country club.  The co-ordinator was unbelievable!  She denied that we had an appointment.  (I had the printout of her letter from my computer at home.)  She looked me up and down, and said "We don't do budget weddings."  I was wearing my good black suit with an Hermes scarf. (She was fired three days later.  I do know people.)
  Our perfect venue at the perfect price was waiting up the road at a newer club.  They fell over themselves trying to please us.
  Keep looking.
  

  

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• short+sassy member

  

  March 2014

  I remember reading on a different thread about the rampant snobbiness in the bridal industry if a bride-to-be isn't wearing her engagement ring or her engagement ring doesn't have a diamond or doesn't have a big diamond.

  Know telling why she was being judgy, or maybe she was in a bad mood, but I know how you feel.  I'll admit, rudeness and/or terrible service is usually a "no deal" for me, but I have made exceptions to that when it is something I really wanted and couldn't find elsewhere...either item or price.  For example, I despise my theiving, lying cable company (long story), but they are by far cheaper than anyone else for my needs so I put up with them.

  However, a wedding venue certainly has a lot at stake and its important to have at least a good professional relationship with the key players.  If it were me, I'd probably give the coordinator one more chance with either an e-mail, phone convo, or return visit with mom.  Perhaps forward her the proposal your mother got for sis's wedding and say something like, "I'm so glad I recommended your facility to my mother for sis's wedding.  This is exactly/so close the package and price point I was looking for..." and then follow that with however you want to move forward, ie asking about dates, asking questions, etc.  I suspect her attitude will do a 180.  Throwing out words like "referral" and "recommendation" is like blood in the water for sales people, lol.

  

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• abbyj700 member

  

  March 2014

  Move on to other locations. Best advice I've got planning for my wedding was from my sister in law as she just married into the family this year and knows her shit. She told me - when it comes to vendors never hire someone who you couldn't just sit at the bar and have a drink with. They will be there the entire planning process and all up in your grill all day on a huge day in your life - you don't want to have to deal with this woman then!

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• Amyzen83 member

  

  March 2014

  See I have this policy that it doesn't matter how much I want something if the person I'm working with is a complete bitch or a little rude when I'm the one paying for their service it's a no deal for me. There's better out there, the last thing any couple needs for their wedding day is to deal with bullshit from vendors and being treated like 2nd class citizens.

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